Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Parents of GT kids are isolated, too

Nicely put - I will add that you've mentioned the punchline to my
'how do you tell if you are a competitive parent or a responsive parent?' joke.

Punchline: If you see that there IS a child in your kid's class that is 'like yours' do you become anxious or joyful?

Smiles,
Grinity

lol, I like that joke. It's just so true. maybe someday : )

Great thread!

My story of isolation due to the awareness gap is woven throughout this article on raising/educating the gifted.
http://editor.viewfromwithin.net/wpmu/2008/10/25/life-is-like-a-box-of-chocolatesforrest-gump-1994/

Sorry for the ridiculous url, the article is called 'Life is like a box of Chocolates'. It is written as a look back across 18 years of raising a profoundly gifted child. It begins with the myth of what I once, fleetingly imagined it would be like to be be the parent of a prodigy to point out that this myth actually makes it more difficult to identify gifted children.

My son, now 18 and a software developer is also contributing articles at http://viewfromwithin.net/geek.htm and accepting comments at his blog.

regards
Rosie

Wow, great article! Thanks so much for sharing. It sounds like you had your share of heartaches, but so glad that you were such a great advocate for your son and that he is successful and happy. That is wonderful!

That's a great article. Everytime I hear another set of stories, I just cringe inside. Your son was fortunate to have a mom who loved him deeply.

Edit:

I think the identification and tracking of gifted kids needs to start with the medical profession because they are the first to be able to see a child's advanced skills - which show up long before school starts.

Right now, in the US, there is a standard for identifying at-risk kids during checkups. By at risk, I mean developmentally delayed.

But, pediatricians and their staff are also in position to screen for precocity and then to inform and counsel parents on giftedness. The medical interest lies in the fact that not providing the proper environment for GT kids leaves them open to mental health issues.

In our own case, our Pediatrician came right out and told us our DS was "a little advanced" and then "he is very advanced" at his checkups. But, that was all she said.

It would be very easy to insert a few classes into Pediatric Nurse and Pedatrician inservice seminars on this along with suggested handouts. Such handouts should cover the relevant issues along with parental loneliness/difficulties.

Hi Austin,
Thanks for the feedback. I've figured out the comments on my blog now and will open them up when I've finished here.

I agree with you about the early intervention. My son had a lot of developmental checks through his family day care and had contact with the pediatrician who oversaw his treatment for asthma. We were at the GP every other week for a couple of years yet none of these people either noticed or explained my son's giftedness. Either it was hidden by his motor and language delays (not to mention astigmatism and inability to concentrate on anything) or they must have not wanted me to know.

The before-school test of eye-sight picked up both the giftedness and the vision problems but the consequences of the giftedness were not explained. No one seemed to link behavioural issues with giftedness, or imagine that a child could have adhd AND be gifted. DS's strengths meant that people refused to entertain that he also needed intervention- for dyspraxia and ADHD. Looking back, my son's giftedness ended up having far greater impact on his life than his problems but only because I was able to address those problems.

When my son was finally diagnosed at age 5 with both adhd and high giftedness and sent for an assessment with a speech therapist, the therapist said that he didn't want to identify my son as gifted because gifted children get too much pressure on them. This was not personal as the guy didn't know me from Adam, it is just a stereotype many people hold.

Ironically, when I took the diagnosis back to the GP who had probably seen more of my child than most of the professionals he told me that he had always known that he had ADHD but had thought that it would not do him good to be diagnosed and labelled! That he had known what I was going through the whole first five years and chose never to validate it was amazing.

And it was often a challenge to deal with some of the pediatricians (we moved around a lot) who thought my son was missing out on being socialised by being homeschooled. Not so much that they would not help us but just as something to nag me with each visit. The last one we saw just before my son turned eighteen told him to go back to university. He didn't seem to get that my son had already been to university and had been working as a full time software developer for a year or more.

I know these people mean well but it would be nice if the professionals we are dealing with were educated about high intelligence. So I agree wholeheartedly with everything you say.

regards
Rosie

Hi Shelly,

Thanks for the feedback, it means a lot. I know my son appreciates what has been done in his name and I am thankful for that. It would be nice however, if society at large had some way of understanding it.

regards
Rosie

Now that I have had a chance to think about things and recollect more, my mom suffered as much from her GTness and as from dealing with mine. I know I caused her challenges on a daily basis and it wore her down. Some of the things that she did that caused me pain were the result of dealing with me.

Keeping parents sane and fired up is as important as taking care of the kids.

This is another area of research that is sadly totally lacking.

Good thing we all have a place to meet up.

Sing it, sister!