Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Update (Mixed Bag)

Math seems to be the hardest. We have decided to take DD8 out for math hour and the school will apply the grade we give her to her final report.

This is working out better than I expected it would and I had high expectations!

JB

Glad to hear about the math, it sounds like they are trying. Every child is so different. DS6 is not into biology, the odd thing is that he has no one focus. He now likes his audio encylopedia, or just random factoids. Its great that your son loves writing, our DS would love to tell me a story and have me write it for him. I am working on trying to get him to write it himself.

We're going through a lot of what many, many others have gone through before I think (Are we approaching this the right way? Are we giving him what he needs? Is he happy? etc.). Some of it is that this process moves really, really slow and that is very frustrating to us as parents.

So DS is mostly, but not completely happy. The melt downs and acting out are almost exclusively at home which may be partially due to being 5.5. We have also seen some other negative behaviors develop that we want to nip in the bud. Like not wanting to try something hard because he can't do it perfectly the first time. We used to have a little of that. Lately we've had a LOT. We also observe a huge change in his demeanor if you talk about doing more advanced reading and math. He'll get very passionate about it to the point where he comes home and it's "dad can we do biology?" "can we do math?" I think he's a little disappointed with some parts of school.

Yes, we'd prefer that he be challenged a little more academically. I'd say that it's more that we are frustrated with the system, but there is some noticeable effect on the child.

JB

This is why we were looking at other potential alternatives because I think realistically we know the GIEP is only a partial solution. We're hopeful, but realistic.

Since this summer we've started to do a lot more educational family trips too... the zoo, Body Worlds, Science Center, etc. It's actually been a lot of fun. That part of parenthood I'm thoroughly enyoying! We're also scheduled for C-MITES next month...

JB

I think being 5.5 in full-day school is almost certainly a contributing factor. The "slow motion movie" thing (nice analogy! ) is also a good bet. More challenge generally cures the latter but not the former. Giving more challenging work is probably a good way to find out what the problem is, actually.

As for the observation of the school psych: honestly, I think I tend to doubt what school professionals say whenever they're in the position to be addressing large numbers of parents about general problems kids may be having. Anything they say is necessarily geared to the "average kid" (whatever that is...) and is not necessarily relevant to any one specific kid. Especially not an HG+ kid! It just means to me that I should take with a grain of salt anything they say. I don't mean to be unfair; I'm just trying to be realistic. We're not really their usual audience!

Generally, I don't like generalizations....hee hee...

But unfortunately I think that's a good way to sum up the issue many of us here, have.
I think it can be dicey if they misapply that to some of the situations our kids find themselves in.

Yeah. It's just too easy to dismiss major problems as "adjustment issues." I know my kid--his behavior problems and anger issues and depression were not some minor "adjustment." They were a radical personality and behavioral shift...which resolved completely once he left the school situation. Pretty obvious, no!?! And it was clear that more time to "adjust" wasn't going to help. Especially since he had spent one day a week in a full-day pre-K class and had not had any problems there. (Of course, by the time the full-day class started, they had gotten good about challenging him at the pre-K...)

Are JBDad's child's issues major or minor? I can't say, of course. Maybe even he can't say (yet?). But I do think it pays to take behavior problems pretty seriously to start. Don't do anything rash, of course, but I sure wouldn't dismiss it either. I think JBD's approach is pretty smart.

From what I've seen, if you think a change is in order for your child, it probably is. What change depends on the child and what options are available. You might need something as simple as harder homework or as drastic as a radical change in the school environment. But ultimately, if you think the situation isn't working for your child, it probably isn't.

I haven't been posting much but I can echo with Kriston that the anger and frustration issues I have seen in DS5.5 since he began school are not just normal adjustment issues. I know that in my gut.

In K, the teacher now allows my son to fit in the role of teacher's pet. He reads books to the other children when he has completed his work. He tells me that he enjoys this activity in an otherwise boring morning. He has also had many behavior issues (knows as strikes in his class)for pushing incidents, hugging a friend too tight, talking too much, etc.

In 1st grade, the teacher is emphasizing his need to work in groups--I do agree with this but making tally marks of objects isn't really DS5.5's idea of fun math. He also tells me that he spends most of his day "just sitting around learning nothing". They are supposed to start reading groups this week but DS says that no one has actually listened to him read yet so he doesn't know how they will find a group for him. My assumption is that he will just be in the highest reading group.

DS5.5 has also been calling himself "stupid", "a maniac", and "a trouble-maker" during the evenings. He has also been so negative and arguementative. There was also an incident last week when he actually bit a friend during recess. I was appalled. My son didn't even bite when he was a toddler--why would he start this now????

Sorry JBDad for hijacking your thread but I can't offer advice--only commiseration. I have decided to arrange meetings with his teachers and seek some professional counseling for DS5.5. I think he needs to talk with someone about his anger and frustration before it gets out of control. I need school to work--I love my job and don't want to homeschool. It also seems like the gifted private school I was hoping would work out for next might not get off the ground.

At guess at this point we can sit and wait together. It has to get better. It must get better.

Oh, I'm so sorry, crisc! My heart breaks for you!

Do not give it a second thought! Sharing our experiences is what makes this forum so helpful.

And I'll return the commiseration....

JB