We'll see how it goes on Monday. At a very minimum, I want the 1st grade teacher to be able to work with the K teacher to provide DS with something useful to do.
I have an idea for tommorow. How about letting DS do "K" in the first grade classroom for two hours a day, sort of as an independent study, and then rejoin the other "K"s with the expectation that he do 1st grade again next year?
My son had a Gem of a 3rd grade teacher - she found differentiating no problem - and I seriously entertianed the idea of holding him back a year so that he could have her again! If the school would have let that happen, I think he would have been really well served.
Remember to avoid looking down the road as much as possible when it comes to planning school situations. You aren't commintting to any gradeskip by having DS in 1st grade for a few hours. And if the 1st grade teacher isn't as good a fit as you thought, then at least you know sooner not to wait through a bad situation to get her. Honestly, no one can predict the future. The farther ahead you look the worse it gets. For all you know, DS may be able to move along with his classmates for years as long as he gets 2.5 hours a day of 'independent study' in the first grade room.
What I think is the most key thing, is do give the child a chance to
a) develop good work ethic by working at their readiness level, (polite way of saying that it really is a big problem to let a child be in school 2.5 hours a day bored out of his goard.) and
b) keeping enough social peers around so that the child doesn't have to mask themselves too totally all the time.
As for your DH, he is reminding me of me back when my DS12 was first starting to be noticibly 'different.' At that time I soundly believed that almost every difference between people was due to environment. I blamed myself for not fitting in, and thought that my choices and actions could lead my son down a path where he also might not fit in.
((Remember Rodney Dangerfield's joke about his parent's attaching meat to his neck so that the dogs would play with him? My DH and I used all of our bainpower to do the same for our DS. DS is a 'people person' and it seems to have worked to some degree - he stands out at Gatherings as one of the most 'social' but 'Oh' the cost!
Over the years I've learned that it's wasn't my fault, and there wasn't much I could have done to 'make' my DS like everyone else AND the things I tried to do to make him fit in usually did him harm.
It isn't the money you are wasting, it's your son's oppertunity to have a 'right relationship' with learning, both the romance and the hard work!
Alternativly, can you 'partial homeschool' him and bring him to school after the 2 hours of academics?
My prayers will be with you -
Grinity