Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments to homeschool or not to homeschool... da da da

Yes I am starting THAT decussion.

What do you think?

You first...........

okay, I see you are not signed on so I'll go first even though I am so shy.

My state allows for partial homeschooling. After working well with the school for over a year, DH and I have determined both girls should have time during their school day to work at their own pace.

Currently DD8 leaves for a portion of the day. We are not doing this for DD6 yet, but probably will at some point going forward. It's working our better than expected.

I feel that both girls would benefit greatly from a totally individualized curriculum. That said, what child wouldn't?

Both girls love their school and want to be there, so we respect that. Additionally, I am afraid to totally cut the cord, so to speak. Yes, I realize I am extremely lame in this regard.

Neato,
I don't see this as lame in the slightest! Why rush into any decision? There will never be a final perfect answer - so use the building blocks at your disposal.

I'm working 8-5, and while I know that homeschooling can be done on evenings and weekends, I don't think I would have the stamina for it...but if a homeschool coop opened nearby, I think I would jump if I thought the folks 'got' my kid.

Online high school is always in the back of my mind...but for now, things seem to be working, so I'm grateful.

I don't really think that a debate HS v. Bricks and mortar School really fits for gifted families - I think it's more "try everything and see what combination of things work" yes?

If I get a learning environment that fits well for a whole year - I'm happy! I've had that twice, and never had more than that. I told DS12 to enjoy being the 8th grade big shot now, because although I'd love him to have the experience of being a high school senior someday, I wouldn't bet on it.

((shrugs)) and More ((shrugs))

Grinity

Absolutely, yes!

At the moment we're giving public school a try. If it doesn't work out I have cyberschooling as my plan B. Either the public cyberschool charter run by K12 or Calvert Online.

No one can answer that question but you. That choice is very individual. I'm currently HSing my 3rd grader for the first time. I guess what you call a reluctant HSer. I'm not one of those that always thought I'd homeschool. WHile I was so sad when my son started K, I felt it is just the way things are and dealt with it plus I had another baby at home. But now, with the negative changes in his personality and the things he says about school, I felt I needed to try something radical. Plus my teacher friend said that this year would be focused on testing which would mean lots of review which I think would have put the nail in DS's love of learning coffin - so to speak.

Plus, where I live is the antithesis of a HSing hot-bed. We are a surburb of a large city which is still 1.5hrs away so I don't have access to museums, HS programs, all the things that make HSing fun and exciting. So our decision (well DS's since I left it up to him) came with a lot of trade-offs.

ok... I know I didn't say what I think cause I don't know, it is a giant undertaking...... But his school is far from cutting the mustard. They are doing the best they can... but it's not enough.

I considered HS after a disastrous 4th grade experience. Since DD is over 6 years older than DS, I felt it would be difficult to HS and DD really enjoys social aspect of school. We looked into private schools and accidentally found a PS that is extremely GT friendly, so we moved and gave it a go. Now, a few weeks into 5th grade, DD is reviewing 6th grade math and LA and will begin 7th grade curriculum soon. Her class is full of various LOGs and they have a wonderful camaraderie. Her teacher understands some of DDs "gifted" tendencies (lack of organizational skills, desire to research some topics to no end and not needing tons of repetition) but at the same time she is teaching her great strategies to handle a regular classroom later on. While HS is never ruled out for us, I feel pretty good about this year.

We were "emergency homeschoolers" (as Kriston calls it). DS6 was drowning in Kindergarten and begged me to bring him home, so we pulled him in March. We're continuing this year because it's working very well for him. But, we are completely undecided on how to handle DS4 who starts K officially next year. I'm leaning towards sending him just to lighten my load a bit at home, but we'll see.

I agree with everyone else, you have to do what works for right now and when it stops working, you change it.

Mamaandmore - that's what I did - I sent DS5 to K this year and kept DS8 home. I knew I just couldn't handle all 3 of them home (I have a 20mth old DD) and get HSing off the ground quickly w/ DS8. Once I work out the kinks, hopefully DS will get out of some very bad habits he's developed, if DS5 needs to come home, it'll be a smoother transition.

Every child is different, and I agree with others who say that you need to consider all the particulars of your situation. If you have concerns about socialization, I recommend this book:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art27055.asp

hth!

Just adding my support for whatever works for your family.

DS6 is in PS 1st grade and DS8 is home with classes at an alternative public school - that works for now!

We lost power thanks to Ike , but I'm chiming in late to ask you, ienjoysoup, would it help to talk through the pros and cons of your options? That always helps me to figure out what direction I should be heading.

Think very pragmatically: what is working now and what isn't? Not just for your child, but for you, too. I still miss the freedom I felt when I put my child on the school bus and waved goodbye for the day! That worked for me. But he is a lot more independent now, so that particular con is not as big a deal as it was last year. Sometimes cons turn out to be pros with a little time allowed for adjustment. But still, if it's going to make life harder for you, write it down. You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you assist anyone else!

Also, are there other options you might be overlooking--like 'Neato's partial homeschooling option or a private school? Don't be afraid to make your own path.

I won't ramble on, but I'm happy to help if you want to talk specifics. I can offer websites to help you consider what sort of homeschooling might work best for you, since that can change how you view HSing ENTIRELY. I could never be a school-at-home type, but an eclectic, loose-unit study approach suits us fabulously and is very comfortable.

Honestly, I suspect you're really not asking what WE'RE doing; you're really trying to figure out what YOU'RE thinking and why! I'll be happy to ask questions if that helps you muddle through it all.

I like Kriston's questions and suggestions. Even if you decide not to hs at the end thinking about it and researching different programs may give you lots of good ideas for after schooling or alternative school accommodations. Like others said finding the best possible (or the least worst whatever you want to call it) educational match is a complex decision. Every child and family has different needs and options.

It took me a while to get used to the idea of hs but once I did it seemed like a very viable option for us. We couldn't see how public school could accommodate him. We could have tried for a grade skip but honestly one grade skip would do nothing for him. We tried Montessori last year and even that didn't work too well.

We hs all the subjects (besides French and piano) but DS6 spends two afternoons in an alternative private school. Their afternoon program doesn't include any academics (think lots of playground time, cooking, music, dance, ...) and he goes there to have fun with other kids.

We will see how it goes. If we like it great, if not we will have to figure out something else.

It sure sounds good, LMom! And your situation is a great example of a different path that might be a well-matched, creative solution. Sometimes there are programs available that you wouldn't know about if you weren't looking for them. If the beaten path isn't working, you might have to try something else. And there may be a number of "something elses" out there if you know where to find them!

OH what a wonderful sounding program LMom!!!! I'm envious!

It's true... no one can answer it but the individual family.

We are sort of have a delicate pickle with DS7.

We can't afford a private school, that coupled with the fact that there are no gifted private schools in Upstate NY. So it's really out of the question.

His current public school is doing things that are pretty remarkable compared to other public schools. But it's still not enough.

He was skipped into 3rd this year.(He was in 1st last year) He said to me this morning, "...I mean whats the point? I went from first to third. I was supposed to go to second. What's the point if the work is the same. If I am going to be board, can't I do it in second?"

I replied, "I don't know how to answer that, other then to tell you that all the kids that you were friends with no longer go to the school, so even if you went back to second, it would be different kids. And the work would be boring."

He said,"It's boring in 3rd, there is just more of it."

So homeschooling is on my mind. But how could I do that and afford it?

I definately think it's what works for you.

We were initially a reluctant homeschooling family. We tried for 4 years to get the public school to work with my oldest daughter to no avail. The administration just isn't willing. Things were to a point that she was spending so much time doing "school" at home I began to wonder about the point in sending her, we toughed it out. Then my next oldest started having problems, she would be starting K. We started her and her twin on a computer based curriculum just to give her extra to interest her and she proceeded to finish K over the summer.

By then my oldest was begging to be homeschooled, she is twice exceptional and with the school doing nothing we decided to try it. I now homeschool my three oldest, my fourth child attends Early Childhood five mornings a week for speech therapy and I have a nine month old at home. For us homeschooling has allowed all of my children to work at their pace, in ways that work for them. Some do better on the computer, my youngest is a very artistic hands on learner. Now they can each be given the tools they need as individuals, rather than by their "grade".

I really love the book Genius Denied and recommend it to everyone with gifted children. It has many suggestions for all types of education. It really depends on your situation and your children. Best wishes in making your decision and feel free to ask questions.

What do you mean "afford it?" Unless you're talking about quitting work to homeschool--in which case, it might be an expensive option for you--homeschooling doesn't have to be costly. I mean, you CAN spend a fortune on curriculum, or you can raid the library and spend not one thin dime! (Our library even has an educator's card, which HSers are allowed to get, with much longer check-out times and no fines for overdue books. It's swell!)

In fact, I think it's not at all a bad idea to spend your first year just reading books that interest your child (cover fiction, nonfiction and poetry for sure!), and then talking and writing about what he's read. DS7 reads aloud to me sometimes, sometimes he reads silently and summarizes for me, and sometimes he reads silently and answers questions I've written up for him.

If math isn't something you feel comfortable winging in this manner, get Aleks or Singapore Math to start, depending upon whether you want to work online or in workbooks, and see where that takes you.

Be sure to check out Home Learning Year by Year by Rebecca Rupp and/or the What Your Xth Grader Needs to Know series by E.D. Hirsch to be sure you're not letting him fall behind in any particular area. This is a nice security blanket. You can also compare what your child is doing that's ahead of schedule with grade levels to see where they're operating. That's pretty handy. The Rupp is especially nice for that since it has all grades included in one book.

This outline is what we did the first year because we pulled him out mid-year and were not at all prepped for it. It was surprisingly low-cost and low-stress, and it worked really well! DS7 made great progress and was HAPPY! Good stuff!

Admittedly, I made life easier on myself by setting the bar pretty low: I just wanted to be sure that we did at least as well as the public school had been doing with him. Well, if he's bored to misery this year and learning zilch, then it's hard to think that you're going to do a worse job, right? That's what I figured as we dove in.

We spent more money on "stuff" this year, but it was more a choice than a necessity. Plus we're not having a regular babysitter this year, so I have more money in the budget to spend on HSing.

There's lots of free stuff on the Internet, too. I'll be happy to point you toward links if you want stuff. Just ask.

Does that help at all? I fear you have the wrong idea about homeschooling...

Yep, that is what I'm talking about. This year I will be a freelance teacher at a local art center. When I am not teaching I will be making and then trying to sell paintings. Which is time consuming and exhausting, but I love it. My husband is a freelance photographer. While we sort of make our own hours it would be tough juggling making a living and teaching him.

I sort of worry about what and how to teach him, but really that would be more about what to include and what to exclude. If we some how got a small winfall and I was able to do it, I think I could easily handle most of it. But he's really is ready to learn programing, we would have to find someone to teach him that. Also he wants to learn guitar. I am not musical- I can't afford lessons. I have tried to work out a trade with some local people who teach it. But no one wants to trade.

Computer programming: have you looked at Alice? It's a free computer programming tool/intro from Carnegie-Mellon, and it's very well-supported so that anyone can use it.

http://www.alice.org/

Just a thought...

Making HSing work with your work schedule: one of the nice things about homeschooling is that you can sort of fit it in when it works for you. There are single parents who have school only evenings and weekends. Or can you paint while your child is present? Reading to you or doing something (mostly) silently? An independent child would help a lot there. If that's not your child's style, it could be harder to manage.

Childcare is often the biggest problem with this sort of arrangement. What can you do with your son during the day while you teach? If you have a relative who could help you for free, that's obviously ideal. Balance your schedule with your husband's so that your son is always with one of you? Can your son come with you to the art center or on your DH's photo shoots? Maybe you can trade childcare with another person in need? If those don't work, then you're paying for childcare. And that is not a cheap proposition.

Please know that a "regular schedule" is not a requirement for homeschooling. Some places do require a specific number of hours of work, so you'd have to check the regulations in your state. But they don't tell you when the child has to do the work. It is entirely possible to fit school in around your family's work needs. It's usually harder to do, I suspect, but it all comes down to what works for your family.

Don't worry about the curriculum questions--that's the easy stuff! I promise! Deal with that stuff later if you decide HSing is even do-able.

No, for you, I think the real question is the schedule and whether it's worth the hassle of working all day and then coming home in the evening to teach your child, or spending most of the weekend on school stuff. It may not be worth it. Only you can decide that. But it can be done without your having to quit painting, depending upon your child's ability to work independently and the amount of support you get from your husband.

I don't know if that helps. I'm happy to answer questions or to talk about it with you more if I can help you to decide one way or the other. I know it's a huge decision!

WOW! that link is great! DS7 will eat that up!

this year it would be impossible.... but then next year is what I'm looking at....

Sure. Seriously, no pressure. You must do what works for your family, whatever that is. Deciding that homeschooling is a bad idea for your situation is a valid choice, and I'll support you 100% in that.

Just say the word if there's more I can do to help you to think through the decision.

ienjoysoup, where in upstate NY are you? I live in the Rochester area and am going through the same thing with my dd. She is attending second grade in public school and except for the social aspects and specials, she is so bored. They are trying, but they have not been able to properly challenge her. I have been researching homeschooling to see if it would be a good fit for her and our family, so I know what you are going through!

HEY RUBY!

I live in Schenectady (it's just north of Albany). But I went to grad school in Rochester! I lived on South Goodman Ave.

I would like to retract this statement!

I just got back from his 504 meeting!

wow!

his school rocks!

Excellent!

So what happened?

Yes, Ienjoysoup, share some details.

well were told that the principal was revising the 504, but it wasn't revised.

Our DS7 like many GT kids, had handwriting issues. We actually I think he is right on target for a 7 year old. At any rate they were talking about getting him a scribe for the state test. Which I wasn't too keen on, but I thought, well, they do need him to past that test and they are putting him ahead a year.

At the meeting they asked if it would be ok if they could be flexible about that and leave it up to his teachers. She said since the 3rd grade test wasn't writing intensive, she didn't think he needed it.

Then we met this new teacher she will be working with DS7 in a pull out with some of 5th graders who need extra help in reading. She asked what we would like to see him learn in english and in math. Did we think he could do the 5th grade math. I explained that he could do it, but that he need to learn how he got his answers, or what order of operiation he used. She said great.

I told them I had gotten in contact with the DI and that I was going to try to get him a programing mentor. The psycologist wrote it down and said she would look to.

The teacher, who we observered last year and picked to be his teacher, is great and seems to really understand him. She has 2 at home like him.

We picked him up early from school and he was happy, had a great day!

Wow! That sounds like a great plan. So glad DS is happy. Good job advocating, it's wonderful to hear your success story.
Thanks for sharing it....

Neato