Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional feel like we are looking for the Holy Grail

my daughter might have sensory issues too. I have her enrolled in preschool starting next week and I am terrified she will not do good. Her doctor isn't really diagnosing her with anything bec of her age. But I just have a feeling she does, she is going to OT 1x a week. She cries when we go but by mis sesion she settles down and interacts well. She can't focus well, she has delays in expressive an drecetive speech but her articltaion is awesome and is potty trained no problem amd knows colors, numbers, alphabet shapes no problem. I just don't know what to make of her these days. Transition is poor too for her. Fine motor skills not the best. I am torn as to which preschool to send her to. What she do fine at this traditional school with alot of kids.

Just sending more sympathy. Yes, I think we're looking for a needle in a haystack.

We think we have that needle at the moment; DS5 started K a couple weeks ago. SPD, speech, fine motor issues, among other things. His strength is math (except that even there his fine motor issues have held him back - he can barely write numbers). He's in the same montessori classroom where he spent the past two years, and his teacher, thank goodness, is wildly open to handling both his special needs and his strengths. But she's very young - this is her second full year with her own classroom (she started about halfway through DS5's first year of preschool when the other teacher went on maternity leave). In that respect, it has been total luck - that teacher who went on maternity leave had no clue about DS5. DS5's twin brother has an equally excellent veteran teacher, but he doesn't have the special issues that his brother has, and I'm not sure that she would have been as good in that situation. The other great thing is that it is a public charter school, so DS5 has an IEP for speech and fine motor *and* the special ed/learning coordinator (or something like that) called me this morning to firm up a time at the beginning of the school day for her turn to do services - at the outset she'll be working on sound-symbol association/phenome stuff (I guess that takes care of the phonics angle but his teacher wants to spend significant time learning sight words too). Not only will this be great for him, this one on one time, but it will free up his teacher. The county provides these services and he's getting much more time from them than I had anticipated. Add in that it's about a 5 minute drive away, and we have a clear winner. For the time being. I'm trying to stay vigilant on the match between the school and each of my three kids who are at this school.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out. This stuff about showing the mastery first drives me crazy. In your situation in particular, it's a shame they couldn't take your word for it.

Maybe you could have his old teacher put in a call to the new teacher? Maybe she'd take it from the teacher? Surely she has her old notes as to which works he had "mastered"?

It's also too bad the classroom is so loud. My kids' classrooms are rather quiet, but even so occasionally it gets too noisy for DS5, and the teacher keeps a desk just outside the door for anyone, like DS5, to go to when they want more quiet for their work.

Have you looked into a private tutor maybe you could start a group in your area and have a private tutor do your sons homeschooling with other kids. just a thought and i hope it helps.

Sympathy here, too.

Sometimes I think that US elementary school systems are overcompensating for our low test scores by forcing some things at a too-young age.

Where this affects many of our kids is the fine motor stuff. It used to be that the kindergarten year was the start point for writing, and now they expect children to have mastered a lot of fine motor stuff by K entry. I clearly, clearly, remember tracing a curvy path without touching lines, tracing shapes, and beginning to write block capitals & numbers in kindergarten. Then we got serious about writing in 1st grade.

Nowadays, at least in California, kids are expected to be able to do this stuff at K entry. After my DS-then-4 went to his kindergarten interview (many public and all private do this), they sent us a letter saying he was behind on writing his numbers and letters! I mean, he was FOUR! We threw the letter in the rubbish and ignored it.

I could be off base here, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of fine motor stuff is related to neuromuscular development, and I'm not convinced you can force it. It happens when it happens. We're content with letting our son draw pictures, which he loves and which helps his fine motor skills.

Val

I cannot only offer you sympathy in your situation, I can completely empathize with you! My 2e son is now in the 9th grade. I am an elementary teacher who has chosen to stay out of the profession until this past year due the extra effort involved in managing the education of my 2e child. As far as your son's schooling goes--you are the best educator for him right now. You understand him better than anyone else. You are doing the right thing to dig in and learn all you can about your son's abilities and needs. Find other avenues for socialization for your son other than relying so heavily on the "perfect" school situation. There is no such thing as a perfect school situation. Kudos to you for educating your son's educators on his learning situation. I have been doing this for 10 years now. I still manage to discover something new just about every day. Some states have district-written curriculum for 2e students. This is not completely ideal either (as each 2e child is unique), but at least these districts are acknowledging that there is enough of a growing minority of students with 2e situations to warrant their own set of district curriculum guidelines.
Sometimes us parents need to kindly, gently educate the educators of our children. At the beginning of this current school year, I assembled a small packet of papers for the group of teachers who will instruct my son this year. In the packet, I included a brief letter of history and description regarding my son as well as copies of classroom suggestions for educating 2e children that I found on the internet. My suggestions centered around organization of materials and making sure that instruction was not always by the "talking head" method. I found that the teachers were receptive and have already been applying these techniques prior to my packet of papers. I even found that my son has a teacher with a son who was like mine when he was in school!
Hang in there. You have been given a wonderful gift in your child. It's just that the package he arrived in is tied up with more string and tape than the "average." Keep unwrapping and helping him discover his world and his talents.

Been there and still there,
lincue