Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy A morning vent session

I appologize in advance for bad spelling, poor grammer, incomplete sentances... and RANTING.... I'm frustrated!

I have spent the morning calling schools! I'm sure you all have similar days! I needed a place to come vent where people would understand....
....no one else in the world of education seems to!

I've finally just started making it my FIRST question when I call... "Do you allow advanced placement?"

No more beating around the bush for me!

It stops there though... I get so many "I'll have to call you back"'s and "I don't really know" and "Well, I would reccomend" (no one asked for a reccomendation by the way!!!)


AUUUUGHHHH...

My little girl just wants to go to school! It's freakin' pre-school for crying out loud! Is it that big of a deal?
She loves to learn, she wants some friends, she needs some time to explore her world without mom and to get some songs, games, academic fun (she LOVES academic stuff)....

THis should not be so hard!

UH!

I know, I know, you are all just nodding your head thinkin' "been there, done that."

I'm a newbie at this but I hope you would all be proud. Even without any official results from the develpmental specialist (she was out on jury duty) or anything formal in my hand I still feel like I stood up for my girl well!

I told them flat out that she desires the stimulation but I don't want to send her somewhere where she'll be put in with "babies" and be bored!!!

Grrr....

She has learned a lot at home but since she is not only academically gifted, but also very mature socially and emotionally she is really desiring that time with other kids, group activities, planting seeds, hearing stories with her friends, having a set designated time to work on letters and numbers.
I can only give her so much of that. We only have 2 kids so far so she doesn't find that much stimulation in her 9 month old brother... and because he requires attention too and almost never naps I don't have much time to devote to just doing her "early learning books" and stuff... she loves that and I just feel I don't have enough time, energy, whatever to stimulate her as much as she wants.

Pre-school would be such a blast for her and all I hear about is "policy" and "I don't know" and "I'm not sure" and "We ONLY go by their age"

Oh that's my favorite!!! "We only go by their age" or "We JUST go by their birthdate"

Oh! That's right! I forgot! Every child who is 2 years, 8 months and 2 weeks old is EXACTLY THE SAME!!!!

Silly me!

Montessori comes to mind...

Have you tried family in-home day care? My kids go to a day care place with a pre-school program. The person running it is pretty smart and she does an excellent job of teaching, doing arts & crafts, etc. She saw that my DD2-3 could do the stuff the older kids were doing, and gave her the advanced work.

It's not always easy to find good day care with good preschool programs(just as it's not easy to find good schools), but when you find a good one, it can be great. A good indicator is turnover. It's a good sign if kids enter as babies and stay until they start school.

Val

Kindercare allowed DS to enroll in a class for 3-4 yr olds when he was 2 yrs. 9 mos. because he was completely toilet trained. When he turned 4 they moved him to the kindergarten class. You may have more luck if you go to the school in person with your DD. Then they will see what she's like. It is very hard to get people to make exceptions when they haven't met your child.

How much away is she from the cut off? You may want to ask if they would put her in the 3 year old classroom once she turns 3. I've seen such cases.

I think advanced placement in preschool is unusual and you may be the first person ever asking about this. I am not that surprised that the teachers/directors were taken back by your question. I don't know where you live but our state mandates teacher:student ratio based on the age. The ratio is different for 2 and 3 year olds. This itself may make it very difficult to accept younger child.

The question is what you want for her. If it's an academical stimulation, workbooks and such, it may not work anyway if she is gt. Lots of people on this board (me included) were happy with a play based programs which did as little academics as possible. You may look into Montessori and see if they would accepted her. We tried that with our younger one and it was a wrong choice for him.

If your goal is for her to be around other kids then you may have easier time finding a program for her. Some drop of programs start at 3 and it may not have to be necessarily preschool, she may be happy to take an art or gymnastics class. You may also want to look into multi-age classrooms which may be eventually a better fit for her if not this year than the next one.

Is there a school where 2 and 3 year olds spend lots of time together? That too could be an option.

We also had a GREAT in-home daycare with a former highschool teacher and grandmother who had lots of older kids around. It was just ideal! When DS7 (then about 16 mos. old, I think) met her, he wasn't in her house for 2 minutes before she turned to me and whispered, "Of course, you realize he's very bright, right?" I hadn't said a thing to her about him, so that sold me on her! And she always worked really hard to give him good stuff to nurture him.

Bad daycare is bad, but there's some really good stuff out there if you can find it. And because daycare providers tend to have lots of different aged kids--sometimes even before- and after-care for school-aged kids--they tend to have a lot of stuff for varied ages around. It can be a good fit.

It's worth a look.

Things like Kindermusik and YMCA classes can also be a good fit. Baby Lingua has foreign languages for very young kids. You can cobble together quite a good situation if you choose to!

Just another route to investigate. Sometimes it's not worth fighting the system, and I'm thinking this time might not be worth it for you...

Brittany -

You have gotten lots of good suggestions here. I hope it has taken the edge off of your frustration. I would also add that until you find a preschool or equiv. to check out classes such as Music Together or the ones already mentioned.

Where do you live? Is it rural/suburban/major metro? A lot of kids museums, zoos, science centers etc. have great programs. It's not full-blown preschool but will offer a regular place to learn and be with other kids.

- EW

Well, I'm not at all interested in daycare. I'm a stay at home mom and I don't want my dd gone all day. Maybe twice a week for a couple hours at a time is enough.

I don't think I can afford montesory school. Isn't it usually spendy?

I think academics and "workbooks" and stuff like that would be fun and stimulating for her... but I think maybe the social aspect is whats more important to us right now.

She's in gymnastics once a week for only 1/2... I think maybe if I just add in some more time on activities like that it will fill the gap.

I donno though... I feel like she'll miss out academically if it's just "fun stuff" though... cause she really does like academics a lot. I don't know if I can meet her academic needs at home at this point...

I donno... I guess some workbooks at home complimented with play dates, gymnastics, and other stuff might work.

Unfortunately I have NO IDEA how to find out about little music and art classes and stuff... I don't even know if we have stuff like that around here for little ones. I'm just afraid the age issue will come up in all of these and she'll be bored with the younger kids. Maybe not.
I really like kids to have indevidualized attention... it just seems no one does that any more!

WE live in a suburban area I guess you'd say

Daycare doesn't have to be all day every day. Our sitter had DS 2-3 days a week for maybe 3 or 4 hours at a stretch. It was enough time for me to get some of my part-time work in or to run an errand. He napped at home, and he got some of that social time and some new toys to explore at her house. Frankly, it sounds very much like what you're describing!

I'm not saying daycare is what you should/must do. Not at all. But I like to be sure people have all the facts before they rule something out, especially when it has worked for some of us in the past. If you find a good, attentive in-home provider, it might be just what you're looking for.

Is there a stay-at-home moms group around? They are all hooked in on classes and such. Go to the park and if you see a group of moms obviously there together, ask them. Or just check the yellow pages. If you know the names of the programs ("Kindermusik," "Baby Lingua," etc.) then you can even check the white pages. Local papers often have ads for them, too, especially the cheapy/free papers aimed at parents. Check kid-friendly restaurants, clothing stores, baby boutiques, etc. for these papers.

Even if you got her in, she's probably not going to get much in the way of academics in pre-K, frankly. Unless the pre-K is highly academic, and then there's a good chance the fit won't be good for your child, and wrong academics is worse than no academics at your DD's age. (Thanks, LMom!) If academics is what you're looking for, you're probably better off giving it to her yourself.

Hope that helps!