Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Gifted teacher told me my child is a LAZY

I think the word lazy triggers because it is morally judgy. But the old "could try harder" wasn't seen that way. We could all try harder. It is however damaging when used on someone who is trying but has a problem. Either shrug it off or do the polite email to gather data and talk to your son.

I have two kids, ages 21 and 16. They both have gone through periods, sometimes LONG periods, of trying to skate by with the bare minimum. This is because, for whatever reason, they don't want to be bothered to do anything more.

My solution would be for the teacher to require more. I think that it is unrealistic to expect kids to do more on their own.

I would certainly be frustrated if I heard a teacher say my child was lazy. I also would recommend looking at why your son is doing the minimum. My daughter not only does the bare minimum, but will convince people that she does not how to do the work. She still tests extremely high, but asking her about her experiences, she is very shy and says that she hates attention being brought to her so she pretends that she does not know it, or will only do what is required. Another child I worked with that was gifted simply wouldn't do the work at all, and when asked he (at age 7) said "why would I do it if I already know how?". It was important to recognize that this child just needed more stimulation and challenging work, while my daughter needs to work on anxiety.

I read the thread, especially the last couple of responses and I had to chuckle. I received a similar comment about my youngest when he was in HS as it related to his writing.

I discussed it with him and he commented the teacher had told him that she wanted him to expand on his answers. It all made sense then, the males in our family aren't the type that use more words than necessary typically. We value brevity. That can be looked upon as "lazy" from as it relates to writing....unless you're an engineer, which both of my sons turned out to be. Engineering professors typically don't appreciate someone going on when they can use brevity.

You might see if this is the case with your child as well.