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    Joined: May 2017
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    Eskes Offline OP
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    I have a very active DS6 who is just finishing up Kindergarten. I am not sure if he is gifted but seems to be a bright energetic boy. He has two older brothers who have both been identified by the school as gifted. DS6 has been on the go and exhausting since he started crawling. I was hoping once he was older it would improve but it is just different. At school he blurts out answers, has trouble staying in his seat and is a class clown. He does things such as giving his teacher the "finger" with a crayon to be funny. His teacher is so nice and is trying to work with him. She gives him harder books to read and redirects him when he blurts out. Academically he is advanced, finishes his work quickly but socially he is behind. DS6 is like this in all settings. We were hoping sports would be a great outlet but he has a hard time paying attention and playing by the rules. He also gets easily distracted by new environments. When things are slow for him he twirls his head or arms around in circles. We pulled him from baseball because he could not pay attention long enough to catch a ball. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help him focus during slow times for him?

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    I won't try to answer your question (I'd only be making guesses - more harm than good), but have you considered other sports that don't involve as much standing/sitting around as baseball? Something with more running, like soccer? Or if he's not into team sports maybe tennis or something?

    Last edited by LazyMum; 05/13/17 11:13 PM.
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    Martial arts and music study - they both have a way of developing patience, perseverance, listening intently, paying attention and following the instructor closely. I am not sure about other sports, but, these two things improved my son's focus, attention and concentration like no other things that we tried (it almost feels like we tried it all!). There were other big benefits as well, but these are relevant to your question. Maybe group music lessons will help him to work with other kids in his group - the younger set has group music lessons that involve a lot of activity and movement.

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    Thank you for your response LazyMum. DS6 has tried several sports. Baseball is just one example that we probably should have not have tried for him. He has played soccer, basketball, swimming and gymnastics. We keep signing him up for these things but it is painful to watch. He needs so much redirection compared to other kids his age. He loves participating in team sports and loves social interaction but he is just all over the place. He has just started a new gymnastics class that he is able to blend in more and is less structured. There are mostly older kids and young teen boys are coaching. This so far seems to be a better fit.

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    If he cannot control his attention, neither can you.

    If his inattention - and the negative feedback he gets from it - are distressing to him, then it's appropriate to have him evaluated for ADHD.

    My son was "maybe gifted" at 6, and turned out to have ADHD and extreme giftedness. Watching his struggles and fighting through devastating baggage from delaying diagnosis make me a strong advocate for identifying - or ruling out - ADHD first.

    If ADHD is ruled out, then you can move forward confidently with parenting tips. But if he has ADHD, there is much emotional and social damage which can be done - and I'm not sure it can be reversed. Time will tell.

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    Thank you for your suggestions Ashley. I never thought of Martial Arts because my oldest participated in this and they would only take kids who had good attention. That was a long time ago so maybe we can try this with DS6. Also, he does seem to take an interest in music so I will give this a try. Thanks.

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    Thanks Sanne. What age is a good time to test for ADHD? I have thought about testing but worried about doing it too soon and not giving him time to grow out of it.

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    My personal opinion is when the suspect behaviors are troubling, and you're also seeing them in multiple settings.

    If he's only acting out in the classroom, then maybe the problem is only academic match. If he's only inattentive in one sport or activity, maybe it's just not his thing.

    You're right that highly intelligent children tend to have a lag in executive functioning that resolves itself, but even if that is the case, there's no harm in getting help while his executive functioning (EF) are legitimately lagging behind age peers - or his other abilities.

    The posters above are correct that highly structured physical activity (marital arts) and music are very good activities (therapies?) for learning to direct one's attention.

    If you choose to have him evaluated and he is diagnosed with it, you still get to chose what to do with that information. Some parents do nothing, some use medication, some use the information to get accomodations in the classroom. None of these decisions are permanent.

    When my son was first diagnosed, I chose medication. It was AWESOME! He couldn't do his schoolwork without it. Now, 2 years later, he can function in most environments without medication and cognitive behavioral therapy is more effective than medication. So, for now, no medication. Just take life one phase at a time and don't worry to much about what hasn't yet arrived.

    (((Hugs)))

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    Originally Posted by Eskes
    I never thought of Martial Arts because my oldest participated in this and they would only take kids who had good attention.

    Oh goodness, if that's their attitude you need to find a different dojo. My kids' karate sensei is incredible with inattentive little kids. It's basically a huge part of the curriculum, teaching focus and self-control. Only taking kids who already have these skills would be like only taking kids for tee-ball who are already home-run sluggers with a 50mph pitching arm. Our sensei is calm and patient and structured, and you can see the evolution in all the kids from year to year, but especially the squirrely ones. My kids do have some natural ability for self-control, but martial arts has been amazing for their focus and goal-setting. I recommend it highly.

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    Thank you again Sanne. This information is very helpful. I think now I might start the testing packet his pcp gave me.

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