Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy 1st grader complaining a lot about hw?

I have to agree with those who see this as way too much math, when the math itself is just busy work. He should not have to do all the regular work, plus the extra sheets, plus the homework, when he is not learning from any of it. No wonder the poor little thing is rebelling!

If at all possible, could you talk to the teacher and negotiate down the volume? Ideally, he'd skip the regular work, but if the teacher balks (and they often do) suggest that on the regular work, he does the last row/ last couple/ hardest problems, and then gets to move immediately to something more challenging. Ditto for homework, eliminate if he doesn't need the practice, or do the last couple to prove it, and done. Ideally, ideally, let him bring some AoPS to school instead!

(What I actually did around this age when we got regular math homework was to pick out the hardest question or two, orally check with DS (who has writing issues) whether it was completely obvious (and it always was), and then write on the paper "Reviewed orally with parent, signed X". I could usually do it over 1-2 bites of dinner. Done. On the rare occasion it was a new topic, I'd make him actually do the last couple in writing, just to be sure.)

I've also learned the hard way how important it's been to start building an understanding with my kids about stuff like this as early and consistently as possible. They need to know I've got their back, that I'm listening, that I get it, and that I am actively working on their behalf to change the things at school that are making them most miserable. Some kids shrug off the repetitive worksheets, whip through them and move on. Others feel crushed by the make-work. The battles you pick depend very much on the individual kid. The kids themselves need to know that we have to pick our battles, and also that there are some things we can't change and just have to live with. They are more willing to deal with those knowing we are changing what we can.

So, we did AoPS math today and he loved it. I tread carefully but he was absolutely fine. This math is the only math I feel I have much control over and it's the one the whole family agrees is at the right level and we're all into. So, I don't want to take it away, I do think that would be worse.

The school math issue is interesting. It is SO SHORT. According to his teacher he whips through it in a 2-3 minutes a day. Then, while the rest of the class finishes (about another 20m or so) he can do something independently.

I just doubt getting rid of that will do much. It hardly seems worth the battle. Unless he is taking it personally and is just mad he doesn't get to do his level of math at school, which may be the issue. He acts insulted.

We had a conference with the teacher about another issue and she used the whole "I saw him make a mistake so I know he still has things to learn in 1st grade math" line. He was adding 18+18 mentally and got distracted and didn't keep track of the 1 he carried. He wrote 26. And this was his own problem he made up and doodled for fun (which was actually written as 18x2). So I find that unfair, of course, but I expect to get push back like that if I try to get rid of the class work.

On the homework... the part we struggle to get him to finish is writing sentences. I think this is the only thing in school he has to work at. It's the only area on grade level. I guess the math is related in his mind because he wants the challenge to be more in math and not in this area? I'm not sure. Maybe it is two separate things or maybe it is really too much work in total.

One thing I'm wondering -- after math in that free 20 min or so a day he is given extra worksheets by the teacher. He likes them so she's trying to do the right thing. I wonder though if she would be open to letting him do his AoPS homework in that time period instead? If not that, maybe he can do his writing homework for school during this time so he doesn't have much homework at night, leaving time to finish his AoPS homework during his regular homework time. For some context the other girl that finishes early plays computer games during this time...

I could also see if I can go to his school and pull him out of math once a week and take him to the library to do his afterschool math. But that might be really hard on me and I'm not sure how positive the teacher would be about it.

Can he do a pre-test and if he gets 85% or higher (he should not need to get 100%) can he opt out of most of the classwork and all the homework for that unit? Clearly, he may need compacted instruction if there is something he doesn't quite understand, but it probably won't take much for him to learn it.

Doing the regular classwork and additional worksheets may start to really bother him soon.

I would see if they would do that AOPS in school if he is enjoying it.

You may need to bring in some supporting evidence about differentiation in the classroom (different work, not more work).

Honestly, if I had the chance to go back again, I might have been a real pill of a parent and just told them my kid was not going to do homework at that age. I don't think there would be anything they could have done about it. Doing homework on things way below your level can be maddening. It seems like the "right" thing to do to be upset with your child's attitude, but I disagree. He could have a really great attitude about doing work at his level.

Good luck with your meeting!

He took the end of year 1st grade math test and got 94% or so on it at the end of K. He only missed questions on writing the time on a clock. But the district requires 100% to pass. Basically they don't want anyone to skip until 2nd grade is my take, since it is only 85% required to skip 2nd grade on up.

We really tried working with the system but it is almost set up to meet the legal requirement to have a system and not to help the kids at all.

I gave up on getting real math at school, thus the after-school math. Which has been working so far, but now I don't know if it will work or not.

Talked to the kiddo.

We are going to try a strategy of doing more homework during the day (AoPS and his school homework) as a first step and get him a homework free weekend, which is what he really wants.

He did a good job suggesting solutions. It's a good first step.

I agree, I already have a note prepared for tomorrow actually.

One of his other asks was that we prioritize the AoPS homework the same as the school homework. I think that's fair. The world will not end if he doesn't finish all of his school homework.

Hopefully most of the time he can do both without it being overwhelming, but I think we're willing to sent it back half done from time to time if we need to.

Angie, thank you for posting! I think we're going to be in a very similar situation when our DS reaches 1st grade. I'm very interested in what strategies end up working for your family.

You're welcome. I hope to have a list of what worked some day... ahh that would be nice.

One of the most useful things I've been told is to take it one step (year or semester or whatever) at a time and expect to have to actively adjust/advocate etc along the way. That seems to be true for us and gave us the right mindset going in, I think.

I did really think 1st grade would be a breeze though, I'll admit. It has been easier than K but not as easy as I expected.