Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums GT Research Teachers' Negative Affect Toward Gifted Kids

Grinity,

SAT sounds fab, but cos I am in Aust, we have none of this available...... he did EXPLORE 2 years ago, which is available her, but the response (he did well)....we don't take any notice of these type of tests.............the teacher does class tests!!! It seems to me that compliance=gifted= mature at school ( forgot to mention he is seen as "immature" despite the fact the testing psych for the WISC commenbted he seemes mature for his age in her report)

Steph

Hi Steph,
Sorry I don't know the detail of school in Australia, but my biggest question is: Did you sign a contract for your DS to go to back to the private school in January or February?

In otherwords, on top of everything else, do you stand to lose a pot of money?

Is the school large enough that he could go to 8th (now or next academic year - when do your kids 'rise to the next level,' around September or around January?) with a different teacher?

Good luck. Sad but not suprizing that you can't get any interst in the Explore results. What kind of tests are normally given to help kids get into college?

Do not worry about the grades and comments being an impediment to a grade skip. You probably want the skip on the grounds that the current situation isn't teaching him how to be a hard working, responsible student, and his current comments only tell you that that goal isn't likely to be met in the current situation. The Doctors concerns about Depression are serious, and a situation that can cause Depression isn't likely to teach good work habits.

You are SO not alone. So many people think that the bright kids 'have it made.' It's just not always so. Personality plays such a large role, and the giftedness fuels the personality differences.

((Hugs))
Grinity

Hi Grinity,

I only have to (in theory) give one terms notice to terminate. I did not fill in the form last year as to whether he was returning, because I am honestly at a loss to know what to do. Because even private schools here are heavily subsidised by the govt, a terms fees are not excessive.

To get into college, kids are graded here state by state, and each one differs......and some rely more heavily on school assessment than formal tests. Not possible to sit these unless you are in grade 12!!

We are on our end of year break now till end of January...then the new year starts. I have already voiced my opinion that my son should move homeroom, but the teacher is keen to "try again" with him. In any case it will be near impossible for him to avoid having her teach him for something, with 3 teachers teaching the 6/7 cohort, and only 70 kids.

How does one push for a grade skip (which would be to year 8, high school here) with an underachieving child?

Thanks again for the assistance, and Happy Christmas to all there.....we are sweltering in 32 degrees celcius heat at present (sorry don't know the farenheit equivalent)...still most of us will sit down to a hot turkey lunch on Thursday!


Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,
I would get out of that school. Some teachers are just poison for some kids. I hope your local public isn't awful or far away, but really it's time to try a new school.

Does your son have valuable friendships that he would miss? Does he want to stay at this school? These factors would give me pause, but the depression diagnosis and the screaming in the hallway are pushing me toward the other side.

You mentioned that your son is HG+. Do you have testing that you can show a prospective school. If you find someone who really understands, then they will get that:

Bad teacher comments + HG IQ scores = needs a gradeskip

After Christmas all the highest up person in the school (or their secretary) and tell them that you are very upset, and think that leaving the school is the only way for your son. If they say: 'Don't let the door hit you on the behind on the way out.' that tells you something very profound.

If they offer to talk, basically tell them that the only condition you'll say is if he returns in January in the 8th grade. The other option is to give him 8th grade work in the 7th grade AND move the offending teacher to work with another group. You can say it nicely, but do say it. You can always return to the private school for high school next year.

If you have to change schools, are their other private schools to consider? Have you looked at the public school? Another possibility is if you have someplace to leave DS during the day, or someone to leave him with, you can let him 'unschool' for 6 months. In the US there are sometimes opportunities for 11 year olds to attend community college classes with an escort.

The money you are paying for tuition - would that be enough to get a young adult to bring him to some physical activity and the library each day?

Sometimes people reject homeschooling out of hand because they don't have 6 hours a day to reproduce school at home. Homeschooling is a major amount of work, but remember that lots of times the homeschoolers start with a nice long 'vacation' from any type of Adult-directed learning in the begining. That gives time for the homeschooling parent to get up to speed. Golly - at 11 you could assign DS to read the books about homesscholing and become the expert himself and give you summaries.

Whatever you decide, we care.
Grinity

Ha. One kid I know who had a 770 SAT-M in 7th grade was rejected from a gifted program just because the teacher refused to recommend him due to "behavior issues". The only thing he did wrong was correct the teacher whenever he thought the teacher made a mistake. Which happened quite often. (And most of the time, the kid was right)

Some teachers are really threatened by a smart kid. It's sad, but it's true.

I've seen this with my 12 year old son, and it makes me really angry. Of course our school has no 'gifted program' so at least they can't hold that over his head! Luckily for my son (skipped 5th entirely, but we had to move him to a private school to get that, then he moved back to public this year for 8th) this year in 'honors' Algebra I, he has a teacher who is tickled pink that he corrects her, and is usually right. I'm so impressed with this teacher for 'being a bigger person.'

Smiles,
Grinity

Smiles here too,

My son does that.

Thanks for comments Grinity. My son scored in the top 1% of the State's Science comp, getting a HD. This is a highly respected comp, where even credits (top 30%) are highly regarded. There were only 2 HD's in the entire school. He was the only student to get one in the 6/7 section. In fact, the next highest score was a credit in the 6/7 section.

Yet, when the lunchtime extension science club was formed, he was excluded due to "behaviour" in his homeroom class. His teacher said she has seen no sign of any advanced ability in science from him in class!!

I am going to contact the head of school after Xmas break about his class placement for next year. He has made several very good friends in the class, and is not keen to move. One of them has been very vocal in "sticking up for" my son in his altercations with the homeroom teacher, even approaching the head teacher over the issue. It is a shame he will have to move from this group of friends. Funnily enough, socially he is very happy in the class.

I don't like my chances of getting a grade skip at the local public school, as this is a skip into high school. The local school head is not knowledgeable about underachieving HG kids.

Oh well, at least I have another 5 weeks of holidays to sort the whole mess out.

Thanks again,

Steph

Does High School attendence usually start in Feb for you, or would he be joining kids who had already been in high School for half a year?

It is great that he has friends. DH and I were also in a position where we had to trade friends for 'reasonable accademic fit' and at that point it was far from a sure thing. Finally I said look: We are the kind of people who believe that socally is fully as important as academic development, as in 50/50, right? So far he's done well socially and had 0% in the academic/work habit development area - so I guess that means we make the change.

Wow that was scary. And yes, the social fit at the new school didn't gel. Luck for him, he could switch back to the public system and now seems to be having a wonderful time. Part of me knew that with my DS it's a numbers game. I mean, how many 12 year olds love 'Magic the Gathering' cards, Dongeons and Dragons, frisbee,classic rock and Chess? Even though the kids at the private school were smarter on average than the kids at the public school, sheer numbers help him find kids who share similar interests. (I think)

The kids at the private school just didn't like to play his games. Sometimes it is said that 'MG is as different from PG as MG is from ND.' While this statement reveals a totally lack of understanding of statistics, there is a ring of emotional truth to it in our situation. My hope is that his friends don't mostly flee to private for high school!

I guess I would ask for the skip from every school you can find. I still think that the homeroom teacher is poison and must be avoided. Even public without the skip may be an improvement. Perhaps you can talk to a few of the friend's parents and get them to bolt with you. Witnessing the harshness of the teacher towards your son can be as or more damaging than being on the recieving end. It makes a deep impression.

I remember DS begging to go to school in 4th with a running tape recorder to document that a particular kids was taunting him when no one believed him. Nothing ever came of it. But I wonder if a few children banded together social pressure might be exerted. Still, my gut says: Why pay for this kind of experience?

Does your local public school do 'subject accelerations?' At least when you start your phone call you can mention the 'HD' and see if that opens any doors.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Hi Stephanie,
I went back to re-read the original post, to see if the friendships could maybe justify the treatment he is getting...and I heard my internal voice chanting after each point 'hot lava' 'hot lava' hot lava....

This started out as a 'don't step on the crack game DS12 had around age 5 and was adopted while I was teaching him chess and looking for spaces to move to when a piece is threatened. I still mutter it, although happily DS doesn't. Recently I saw my young cousin doing the same thing.

Me: Does everyone in your chess club say, 'hot lava' ?
Him: No, just you aunt.
Me: Do you usually say it?
Him: No, just remembering.

So cute!

When DS was in 2nd grade, he was placed with a teacher who 'loved smart boys.' At the time we were told that he had NonVerbal learning disorder, and thought he was MG, 2E. Since we've been told that his PG, PIA. (Pain in the Extremity)
This teacher got so emotionally caught up in 'straightening this kid out' that she did convinse him that 'something was wrong with him.' Since then I've realized that even really smart kids, even kids with really loving families, will start to internalize the judgements of significant adults who are with them 6 hours a day. In your case your son is older, and has two teachers, but the fishbowl nature of some private schools does I think magnify this effect. And there is the MD's suggestion of Depression, so I think you are in 'hot lava' and need to 'move to a safer square' even if you have to give up some of the advantages.

I don't know if it will work, or be 'out of the frying pan and ito the fire' but we are delighted beyond our expectations.

One thing that the PG families say, is that if an academic situation works for 6 months, and stops working, that's a win. That's how low the expectations are for things to go well for kids in school. Now I know plenty of kids who have situations that work for them for years in a row, but I would like you to remove any self blame you might be having about 'why can't this continue to work for him?'

((Hugs))
Grinity