Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Incentives

I've had great meaning advice from the school that may have been brilliant for 99.9% of the kids they serve that was totally innapropriate for my children.

Ultimately the best judge of what will work with our kids has to be us.

They are all different and will respond differently.

Take the advice that applies at the time and chuck the rest.

I once got that advice, in regard to my own path, when I was 21, and it was the best advice ever neato,

Take what feels right and build your own path. Perhaps that is what DD is doing, but as control freak parent of a highly gifted little girl, how dare she?

Ren

Wren, I don't recall how old your DD is but if she is very young (3yrs old?) I've read that their reading can be ahead of their vision. The chapter books have smaller font and it may be fatiguing for her to read. Do you notice a difference w/ her willingness to read larger fonts? My 2nd son was reading at 2yrs old but I didn't push it, I figured he had plenty of time to learn to read. I did notice a difference w/ smaller fonts.

Hi D&C,

She is 3, turning 4 in 1.5 months. I notice her sight reading signs without a problem, so it may be, but I think it has more to do with rushing. She just wants to know the word fast. I think there is a part of her that is confused why she can sometimes sight read and sometimes cannot. I was told that it took until 6 or 7 that they understood that sometimes answers pop into their heads and sometimes they have to do the work. Although, with an IQ of 180+, they just keep popping into their heads.

So I do think it is part, she likes when she just knows and would like that all the time. Not happening like that...

Ren

LOL!!

A few months ago, DD6 started pulling kids books off the large print aisle! She brought SuperFudge over in BIG print and asked to bring it home and then she did read some of it.

I think there might be something to that small font theory at the young ages.

Absolutely, per DS's OT. She says that they are not developmentally ready for the small print, even though they are capable of reading and understanding what the fine print says.

There is. When our older one was 3 and started reading chapter books he also started complaining about his eyes hurting. It happened usually during reading but sometimes even without it. I took him to an ophthalmologist who said his eyes were ok and that he complained to get my attention. Yeah, right

It went away in a few months and he has no problems now but looking back I think it was all thanks to the smaller print in the chapter books.

I thought I'd revive this thread, since there was an interesting article in the New York Times on intrinsic vs. extrinsic rewards in education.

For the record, (if you don't remember), I'm not at all a supporter of extrinsic motivators. I figure if the curriculum isn't motivating them, change it so it will. With schools, it can be tricky, but most teacher's love help and ideas and materials to help them. And afterschooling works to make in schooling better sometimes.

As they get older, they have to learn that they are responsible for making learning more interesting themselves, by picking topics they are interested in for research papers/projects, looking for extra information online/library, and working with their teachers, even before/after school, or carry to a club project.

Here's the link to the article:
NYTimes Artlcle: Rewards for Students

Thanks for posting that and the links in your previous post.

I have two sons, DS 6 and DS 7, who are both Gifted, both stubborn, and both know their own minds. Their behavior at school was atrocious for about three months. A behavior therapist contracted by the school gave us an allowance program to try:

1. Saturdays we pay them their years in dollars (so $6 and $7 respectively).
2. We came up with a list of things they would have to pay for and how much (50 cents for playing video games, 50 cents for play dates, longer term incentives like a trip to Chuck E Cheese).
3. We came up with what things would cause them to lose money ($1 for violence, 50 cents for not listening to mom after three attempts, etc).
4. We discussed how they could earn extra money (school behavior sheets, extra chores, doing things that it's hard to get them to do).

This system has worked beautifully in the house. The kids are much more manageable now than they ever have been. While it seems like the money is an extrinsic motivator, the reward and loss system is completely in the child's hands. S/he can work harder to earn more if they screw up one day. They count their money. Sometimes, they don't care about my rewards because it's real money, so one bought himself a Bionicle.

At first I was hesitant about giving them money, but then I realized that as an adult, you don't really go to work out of the goodness of your heart (usually). You go and you get paid for doing a good job, listening to your bosses, and making sure all your projects run smooothly. So, I figure it's not that different.