Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Incentives

I'm very excited about violin because I took violin growing up. Now I'll have an excuse to squeak away! I think it's going to be really good for DD. I think she has similar perfectionist issues, like her brother. For him it really has forced us to methodically work on those issues. Piano has really been great for him.

I know what you mean about the Henry and Mudge, etc books! I felt like those books were the right level either. Maybe for a week. Even magic tree house books never felt like enough once DS started reading. And I have to say, those books are not my favorite!

Sadly, DS hates to have us read to him now. He reads whatever on his own much faster and doesn't have the patience. I think we may try and do some audio books homeschooling now.

I kind of expect things get worse eventually. He will probably be fine at the very beginning. I hope at the end it will help with his perfectionism and he will realize that if things don't come easily to him he may still be capable of doing them once he puts enough effort in.

That said I would appreciate any suggestions regarding perfectionism which worked for you. I found the book " Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism" really helpful. It has been a while since I read. It's probably a time to reread it again.

My three year old loves Henry and Mudge. They are really cute stories with original plots. They are written by Cynthia Rylant, who also wrote the hilarious Poppleton books, Mr. Putter and Tabby, and the Cobble Street Cousins series.

Her favorite right now is Magic School Bus...

OH we liked Frog and Toad and the Henry and Mudge but DS read the first one or two, his reading level jumped and he was on to other things whereas I know kids who read every single Henry and Mudge etc. My son only ever read the first few of those books like oh can't recall, the one about the boy detective ... he never devoured an entire series like most kids I know...he would just jump to the next level and move on.

We were just like that D&C. DS7 could never tolerate a whole series - usually 2-4 books from a series. The most of any one series he did was Geronimo Stilton, although I'm sure he didn't come close to finishing even that one.

DS actually loves graphic novels and long comics (adult-ish). At 7, I think it still appeals to the part of him that would like to read picture books. A lot of them he picks up actually have good portions of text and probably at least a 6th grade reading level. Right now he's reading vintage richie rich and re-reading a graphic novel series on the life of the Buddha (which is actually very adult).

I wish I could add to this conversation but right now my son is happily reading a Pokemon Handbook.

DS6 seemed to be stuck for the last few months, I know he's capable of reading higher levels but he's been perfectly happy to read the beginner chapter books. I started reading books to him that were just within his reach and had really interesting story lines. That seems to have whet his appetite for the more interesting stories. He's still not reading to his full ability, but he's much more interested in reading books that are a bit more complex than he had been. I don't want to take away his quick, fun books, but I would like them to be in addition to things that challenge him a bit.

I have a couple of theories on why this worked for him- 1. It helped him get used to the cadence of the longer, more complex books and 2. It helped him realize that the effort of reading the harder books was rewarded with a better story.

I think I have mentioned that DS taught himself to read on roadsigns and moved up to any sign he could find, but I never saw him read a book until he read The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe at 5. We never gave him any incentives or encouragement or found any way to challenge him; he just did it on his own. I doubt that any of the early readers would have captured his imagination as much as a good warning sign, "Mommy, what's the difference between warning danger and caution? "Mommy, why are only employees allowed back there? What are the doing?" "Why is the occupency set at 300?"

So we never owned any of the early readers. But I do have the whole Frog and Toad series in Japanese. They are perfect for my reading level and I love them!

I'm glad to be helpful, Ren. I do think that the "please me" vs. "please yourself" line is a hard one to walk as we give praise. I struggle with it often, and I certainly don't always do as great a job as I would like.

But I think like many things in parenting, if we're conscious of the goal we're working toward and keep that uppermost in our minds, that's half the battle. It at least helps keep me moving in the right direction, I think. That's about all our kids can ask of us, isn't it?

And BTW, I got a chuckle out of this:


Oh, such truth you speak there! There is only so much you can do. And, as you say, she is only 3, and kids that age often cycle through interests. Reading is no exception. She may just not be in the mood for it right now. That's okay.

As I often reminded myself when going through potty training issues, she's not going to go to college without picking reading back up again. (Though there were moments when I felt like the diapers might at least be going to preschool with them... ) It will happen. I think you're right that not worrying too much about it is probably wise. From what you've said about your daughter, the more you push, the more she'll push back, no?

I am a big believer in reading for enjoyment. DD9 has been an avid reader for years, but at 3, she enjoyed someone else reading for her more. The books she wanted to learn about were too complex and frustrating for her to read on her own. She wanted to read about snakes or fossils (not stories, but scientific books)and the beginner readers would have silly story lines, so a bad match for interest.Once her reading skills caught up with her brain, I didn't need to encourage her to read.