Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy asking 5 year old opinion on skip

Hi all,

just wondering if any of you BTDT with skipping first grade asked your child if they wanted to skip or just went ahead with it?

In our case DD would barely know because it is into a composite 1/2 class.

My daughter skipped kindergarten at a school with a composite 1/2 class. She was aware of what was going on from the beginning, because they tested her to make a decision about the skip. She was very enthusiastic about the idea. For her, it was a big adventure.

You could ask your DD what she thinks about the idea generally without mentioning that you're thinking about it for her. When we brought up the subject with our DD, we told her about the level of work in kindergarten (e.g. learning to identify numbers and letters; she was doing addition of two-digit numbers in her head and reading chapter books when they tested her the spring before she started). This information helped her make an informed decision (e.g. "I do NOT want to learn about the letter B!").

Yep, we asked. Wanted to make sure it was worth fighting the school on it before we got started. Not sure what we would have done if she'd said no! Talked her into it I suppose, but she was enthusiastic as anything (the school wasn't unfortunately).

We had the same question last year, and decided to ask DD's opinion. In the end she decided she would like the opportunity to learn something because not much learning was going on in Kindergarten. She was skipped mid year to 1st, and it was a good move. In hindsight I believe it would have been a mistake not to allow her the opportunity to participate in the discussion.

Thanks - DD is approaching the end of kindergarten equiv here. The teacher took me aside this morning and told me I needed to decide if I wanted her to be skipped to 2nd grade next year (Jan). I know she is concerned about the social/emotional side of this but I am not.

I will talk to DD, basically though I can't think of anything she would say that would change my mind. She has just completed year 2 LA and has started year 2 math with her current teacher(can do more at home) plus she is quite mature and has friends in the current 2nd grade cohort.

I'm feeling very happy that the school has suggested this rather than it coming from us, although I am wondering how long it will work for...

When we have decisions like this, we've told our DD (now 11), that the decision is ours to make, not hers, but that we want her opinion and we will take it seriously. I don't want to put the whole burden of a possibly wrong decision on her at her age, so we make the final call. But I don't want her to feel like she has no agency at all, either.

I listened to my DS (now age 8) when he was in K and he wanted to stay in K because he was obsessed with trying to fit in that he lost sight of his academic boredom. After that experience, we do not ask for his opinion - the paperwork for subsequent skips were done before we told him what was happening - because, we realized that DS was too young and too immature to prioritize what was important to his academic growth. He was nervous about the skip, asked me angrily why I did such a thing to him (gave me a lecture on free choice and how I took it away from him), then looked over the new curricula and was suddenly very excited that he did not know many concepts in there and then, his close friend got grade skipped too and showed up in the new classroom and he knew 2 other boys there from his chess club and he was all set in the new classroom! He thanks me constantly for "going behind his back" and skipping his grade because he is learning things that are new to him at school.

All this to say that in my experience, parents should make the decisions when it affects how a young child spends 7 hours of their waking time every day.

[quote=Mahagogo5]Thanks - DD is approaching the end of kindergarten equiv here. The teacher took me aside this morning and told me I needed to decide if I wanted her to be skipped to 2nd grade next year (Jan). I know she is concerned about the social/emotional side of this but I am not.

I will talk to DD, basically though I can't think of anything she would say that would change my mind. She has just completed year 2 LA and has started year 2 math with her current teacher(can do more at home) plus she is quite mature and has friends in the current 2nd grade cohort.


When you say she has completed year 2 LA do you mean she has met the national standards for after 2 years at school? Just asking because as far as I can tell there isn't such a thing as year x language arts or maths at our school because there are no texts or consistency between classes.

Only asking because ds6 wasn't allowed to go up last year because he wasn't ready enough to over-ride their completely arbitary cut off of 31st March and is now working more or less at the top of his year 1/2 class with kids who will go to year 3 next year while he gets left in year one because he is "immature' or maybe he is something else. He meets the standards for after 3 years in reading and would probably be at standard for maths at that level.

Hi puffin, she is at the end of after 3 years of school for reading and 2 years for math. I think they prob wouldn't have gone with it except she was a non reader on day 1 ( may) and has done 3 years work in 2 terms so they can see how fast she is without being able to claim I coached her at home before school. It helps tremendously that DD is an old soul and just looks out of place with the kids around her and spends every lunch with the older kids. It's a small school so I think they are able to notice it more.
Besides which like your ds she only just missed the cut off to be classed as year 1 so I think she really is just going to where she should be anyway. I think the real problem will be when it clicks that she'll only need a month or2 in year 2 before being ready for year 3 - she doesn't skip stuff just learns it fast so she'll still need to do the work.

So is the plan for her to go to year 2 or year 3 next year? How is she for writing. Both my kids are weaker in writing which adds problems. I am hoping ds6 gets put in a year 2/3 class next year if they have one so he can work at year three level even if the insist him being year 2.Until he flipped and had an immense and violent meltdown on Monday I was hoping they would reverse their stance and put him up to year 3. He is not as quick as your daughter though he tends to learn erratically so he jumps then plateaus while he focuses on another area.

I hope it goes well.

OK it is a 1/2 class. Make sure she is classified as year 2. She should be with a May birthday but they may automatically reclassify her as a year one again. You don't want to change schools or have a principal change and find the skip was never official. My eldest had a late March birthday so he was not much younger when he went into year 2.

Our DDs acceleration meeting was on the last day of the school year. She was approved for a skip, but we had the whole summer to make our final decision. When we first approached our DD, she was against the skip, but we told her to not make any decisions and think about it. Not even a month later (and with out any prompting by us) she came up to us and said she thought about it and decided she was ready.

In hindsight, I am happy we involved DD in the decision making and that she bought into it so easily. Had she kept being resistant, we probably would have had to step up and make the decision to do it anyway.

Best of luck,
--S.F.

The plan is for year 2 in a year 1/2 class - she really ought o go into the 2/3 class, but that's a different battle. DD has confidence issues so being at the top of the class is not a bad thing.

Her writing is well above level both in content and form, no problem there. DD def leaps and plateaus, one of the reasons I'm so pleased the school offered the skip is I still spend half my time thinking DD is on the lower half of the curve... I think I would have stressed that she would need to "perform" if I pushed for the skip.

Thank you, at the end of the day if it doesn't go well she can repeat without it being a big deal as half the class will remain in the same room the following year.

Thanks for the advice re classification, the school has said it is our choice but the teacher is leaning on us to have her remain unclassified until year 4 (or 3 I don't know what the limit is) I wasn't sure what the consequences of that would be.

Good advice, thanks you. I ended up chatting to DD last night who was quite pleased at the prospect of year 1 being a little too easy for her and didn't see why she needed a challenge anyway. However after realising they did science in year 2 (I hope) she was ready for the challenge. I told her school was supposed to be medium hard for her so that's what we are going for. We have the weekend to make a final decision...

She has to be classified as something for the ministry. I think if she is not reclassified the placement will be unofficial. Though as far as i can tell the schools that have cut offs before the end of June have to mamually reclassify the kids as year one anyway as all kids who start before June 30 are classified as year one by the ministry and then rolled into year 2