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    Joined: Apr 2015
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    He has one awesome teacher this year. She emailed me earlier today to tell me that she notices he often needs direct instruction because it seems like things just don't register with him. I said, please share with me any advice about what you do, because this is a baffling issue. Here's what she said:

    "[DS]sits so that I can easily see what he is doing. I generally give him a minute or so to do what I instructed, then I give him direct instruction. He is always quick to do what I ask. That is how I know he isn't just disobedient. This works great for me. If anything, he seems a bit frustrated that it didn't register the first time. I can tell that he is working on it, and it isn't intentional.

    I understand that must be a struggle. He is doing very well academically, at least in Algebra.

    I definitely see [DS] as a sweet, caring student and have never seen him be lazy or disobedient. Hang in there. I am definitely rooting for him!"

    If *all* the teachers seat him close to them and directly cue him...he wouldn't need much more, really, to be successful. Maybe an IEP is overkill...I don't know. There seems to be a lot of resistance to any sort of informal differentiation, at least in some cases.

    I've also made contact with the university SLP program, again. We'll do what we need to do.

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    spaghetti--I do have an advocate and brought her to the 504 meeting. She isn't experienced with the 2E piece, though.

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    Who would I call at State Department of Education?

    It's called different things in different states.

    If you google "[yourstate] Department of Education" and then search for special education, there should be an office of accountability, office for exceptional children, office for disabilities, something like that. Buried there somewhere will be information about how to inquire about filing a complaint, and who to call with questions.

    Your advocate should know more...

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    Quote
    I'm not sure which would be more taxing--continuing to advocate for DS or continuing to do what I'm currently doing in over-functioning for him. Since odds are I'll have to continue doing that part, is it even worth it to keep trying to have school give services? What if the services aren't of any use, anyhow? I know nothing about the SLPs in the district and DS' psychologist told me he didn't know how helpful the school would be with the EF issues.

    Who would I call at State Department of Education?

    Sorry, I meant to type procedural safeguards, not "parental" safeguards. Although parents really need safeguards as well, to keep from going insane.If you have that, it will hopefully give you the phone number that you'd need to call for the Dept. of Ed.

    What specific services do you think your DS would benefit from? If you can answer that question, and then think about what the school would provide, that would help answer that question. Some things can be put into a 504, like a para to make sure he has his stuff and is organized (if the current plan isn't really working). DS has "organizational skills" in his IEP, but it's only a sped teacher coming in about 1X per month for about 20 min., mainly checking in with teachers to give support. I don't know that she ever really interacts with DS that much. Maybe with an older kid, it would be different (DS is only 8). What you want is someone to make sure that the teachers have some sort of system in place. Normally a 504 manager could do this, but it doesn't sound like this one is exactly on board. We are re-writing DD's 504 (while awaiting the results of a new eval), and her current 504 states that someone should make sure she has the items needed to do her work at home. Teacher stated "I can try, but I can't guarantee that will always happen." I felt like saying "Not my problem. If DD is going to succeed, she needs to bring home her folders/books." Instead I asked if there is a para that can help with this, and got blank stares. It's something that can be put into a 504 (I checked).

    Also, if he has an IEP and is classified as having a disability that impacts his education, would that make it less likely (or more likely, or have no effect) that he'd be kicked out of the gifted program? It's nonsensical for them to claim he has no disability, when he has a 504. What's the point of the 504 then?

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    Eco I think you are at the overwhelmed and over emotional part of the advocacy process. We have all been there. Take a deep breath. You have a few days before you need to respond to the district. Step back and assess before you decide on a course of action.

    Early on in our journey my advocate told me about another family he was working with who had just been turned down for *any* services despite their child's obvious need. These caring, committed, dedicated parents had spent thousands of dollars to get their child 15 hours a week of tutoring services. This meant that he *barely* passed by the skin of his teeth. It also meant the district denied their requests for services because he was passing. In other words their approach totally backfired. Thousands of dollars out of pocket, huge time commitment for the child and absolutely no better a result. It saved the district a bunch of resources with no better outcome for the child.

    What I learned from this is that the district HAS to see the real child if they are going to recognize their needs. You have said repeatedly how much support you provide (perhaps it is scaffolding or perhaps it goes beyond that level - I can't tell for sure) and how you are tempted to let him go to school as he really is. You have expressed that you don't think it would be fair to your DS to do this though. Based on the story above I think it may be time to do this. How can they know what he *really* needs if you are protecting him from showing it? How much time does your school handbook say is age/grade appropriate? What would happen if you didn't assist with homework and set a timer for the amount of time they say he should be spending? Let them know in advance you will be removing the scaffolding and supports for a week and let him just function on his own. One of 2 things is likely to happen - either he will rise to the occasion and you will see capabilities you may not have known were there or the school will be forced to see the level at which he is actually functioning. You can't fix what you don't know is there. This may feel all wrong to you but I think it may be a necessary step in the advocacy process for you.

    I don't think you are yet at the point where a meeting with the superintendent would be helpful. I'm not sure if you are ready for the Dept of Ed either. I think you need to get to a point of detached clarity before either of these steps would be helpful.

    I think an advocate would be helpful. If the one you have can't help you come up with a clearly defined step-by-step plan it would be good to talk to an attorney. It is important to use the correct language when responding or making requests. I think an advocate should be able to help with this. If you are feeling too overwhelmed, though, the money spent on an attorney letter would be well spent.

    You keep saying that they don't think this program is a good fit for your DS and the threat of removing him from it is hanging over your head. Part of getting to that all important point of detached clarity will probably be looking closer at this. Is it a good fit for him? What exactly would the alternative look like for him? Is it possible that another alternative exists that could meet his needs without the difficulties he is having here? Part of effective advocacy is a willingness to keep an open mind and look at everything from every angle. You may end up right back where you started but in the process you gain a lot of information and the ability to see your child (the strengths and the weaknesses) from a variety of perspectives. This can be extremely helpful.

    So for now make sure you know how long you have to file a response, what specific language is needed, what laws or district polices cover your current situation, etc. Think seriously about what would happen if you allowed the school to really see how his disabilities affect him. Also think seriously about whether your resources could be better spent looking at a different program for him rather than fighting for this one. Sometimes as much as we want something to work it's just not the right program. Then again sometimes it is but we have to work really hard to get it right. I've had both experiences and sometimes it's nothing more than "mom gut" that tells me the difference. But you have to get to that detached clarity to be able to feel it...

    Hope some of this helps. I am now 5 years into my advocacy journey. It DOES get better. I promise.

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    Pemberley, thanks for all of that.

    You are right--I'm completely overwhelmed.

    Thinking through options.

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    Originally Posted by Pemberley
    Early on in our journey my advocate told me about another family he was working with who had just been turned down for *any* services despite their child's obvious need. These caring, committed, dedicated parents had spent thousands of dollars to get their child 15 hours a week of tutoring services. This meant that he *barely* passed by the skin of his teeth. It also meant the district denied their requests for services because he was passing. In other words their approach totally backfired. Thousands of dollars out of pocket, huge time commitment for the child and absolutely no better a result. It saved the district a bunch of resources with no better outcome for the child.

    I very deliberately pulled all the private tutoring I was giving my DD in 1st grade when I realized the best thing for her was to get tested by the school and get an IEP. I noticed that I was propping her up and not showing school how bad things were. But this was at the end of 1st, beginning of 2nd grade and we had time. Once the testing was done, I had a better idea what to look for in outside help. Eco's kid is in junior high and I wouldn't pull all help for him at this grade and in this situation.

    Yes looking around for another option might be best for Eco's son. Sadly not everyone has a lot of options because of either location or cost.

    Reading this thread I'm trying to understand what accommodations you are expecting to get out of a IEP rather than a 504. I'm not sure you are going to get any better compliance with an IEP than a 504. My older DD with LD's had a IEP and my teen son has a 504. I was explained the difference as an IEP is written a student needs remediation. Last year when my son was already in H.S. and I wasn't asking the H.S. to provide any remediation an IEP wasn't necessary. One of the reasons I received a 504 with little struggle last year was that my son had in his record incidences back to 6th grade. It seems that the system really is set up to help children after they are already failing rather than to catch them before they fail.

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    Originally Posted by bluemagic
    Yes looking around for another option might be best for Eco's son. Sadly not everyone has a lot of options because of either location or cost.
    The sticking point is how to provide acceleration or advanced programming in another school. I could allow him to go to his assigned school, stop monitoring 504 compliance, and allow him to fail--which he would do, undoubtedly, because no matter how "easy" the work is, if the teacher doesn't see it, it won't be graded.

    He would still advance grade to grade because they don't retain middle school students, I don't think.

    Originally Posted by bluemagic
    Reading this thread I'm trying to understand what accommodations you are expecting to get out of a IEP rather than a 504. I'm not sure you are going to get any better compliance with an IEP than a 504.
    I don't know either. Here is what I wanted for DS:

    --a behavior plan
    --work with resource teacher during study hall on organizational issues
    --language evaluation. I am not convinced he doesn't have an LD in receptive/expressive language. He definitely has a pragmatic deficit, and it's caused a lot of misunderstanding.
    --legal protection from discrimination

    Originally Posted by bluemagic
    One of the reasons I received a 504 with little struggle last year was that my son had in his record incidences back to 6th grade. It seems that the system really is set up to help children after they are already failing rather than to catch them before they fail.
    DS has had a 504 since 3rd/4th grade. The thing is, he didn't need it until 6th. Medication fixed the issue as far as the school was concerned. I read something on wright's that just medicating away behavioral issues is not considered sufficient, but I can't remember where I read it.

    504 compliance issues created the current situation.

    The most frustrating thing is that everyone who works with DS agrees there are problems, but I can't figure out how to solve any of them without help. And when I try to seek help (and DS misses school because of medical appointments), he is penalized for that, as well.

    I'm still processing all of this.

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    Originally Posted by eco21268
    I don't know either. Here is what I wanted for DS:

    --a behavior plan
    --work with resource teacher during study hall on organizational issues
    --language evaluation. I am not convinced he doesn't have an LD in receptive/expressive language. He definitely has a pragmatic deficit, and it's caused a lot of misunderstanding.
    --legal protection from discrimination
    A 504 can provide him with a behavior plan and legal protection from discrimination.

    An IEP is necessary for resource room support (leaving the general education setting, or receiving any intervention not otherwise accessible to general education students; specialized instruction).

    Neither is necessary for a speech/language evaluation per se, but an IEP is necessary for services.


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    You mentioned getting an outside speech/lang. eval and I think that's a good idea (Just make sure you find someone who is capable of testing for your concerns). Your medical insurance may pay for this eval (ours always has, except for the co-pay). If it turns up something, you can take that report back to the school, and they have to consider it. You may also want to go back to the neuropsych and ask about standardized testing for poor EF (other than the BRIEF), or possible memory issues, to pin-point exactly what he is struggling with. You know that he's not turning in his assignments, but the school may view this more as a behavior problem than a neurological issue. But really, this is something that I think can go into a 504 anyway...teachers actually helping him to use the organizational aids/supports (so that hopefully one day he does it on his own), but it's just not happening and it's a compliance issue. Why are the teachers not complying? Are the accommodations/modifications unrealistic and too difficult for them? Then it's time for an IEP and sped teachers to get involved, because simple accommodations/modifications do not work and the teachers don't have time to do more complicated ones or take the amount of time needed.

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