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Hi Cathy A,

Young Scholar's Program is terrific in that they do give you a phone or email ally called a Family Consultant who offers resource to you and the school. They have lots of ideas and experience about what has worked with other public schools. Another benifit is that they maintain email lists of other parents of similar children, so if you have hesitations about grade skipping, or subject acceleration, or "content daughters" you can ask a question and get about 35 different perspectives at a time. They also have a team of specialists that can help with various issues, such as perfectionism, disipline, ADHD, etc. through e-seminars and private phone calls. All in all, I would say it's been a big help for my family ---- even though the "intercesion" with the public school, which helped a lot, but didn't in the end, seem like enough. We did switch to a private school, got the grade skip, and DS10 is having his best year ever - emotionally, behaviorally and intellectually as well!

Here's a q for you, dear -
If you could keep him at the private school, would they send him to first grade next year? Would they send him to 2nd for reading and math if there were no first graders to be in groups with him?

I do reccomend testing DD as well. You have no idea the number of "I told you sos" I get to give parents of girls who eventually get their "not as gifted appearing" girls tested. If I had a dollar for each one, well, paying for private school would still be a pain, but maybe he'd have a shiny new laptop. ((wink))

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Hi Trinity!

DS' private school only goes up to K. I have called the other private schools around here and they will not even take him for K next yr. because he won't be 5 in Sep. Their reason? "He won't be 'age ready'." I really think the public school is our best option here.

I'm holding out for DD taking the CogAT for the GATE program next year. It's free, although I realize it is not the best test for gifted identification. Testing DS privately was expensive! I'm also considering CTY talent search for her when her state testing scores come in this summer.

Hi Cathy A -

Sounds like a start for your DD! I also like CTY talent search, as it gives information about how your DD does in relation to other gifted children. You can use parental nomination if you don't feel like waiting for the state testing scores, which are sometimes depressed due to the unengaging nature of the material for some kids.

Too bad the private schools are so close minded! How Frustrating. Would you consider Full Grade skip for DS? Homeschooling?

Whatever happens - Best Wishes
Trinity

Trinity,

According to state law here in CA, DS would not be allowed to enroll in first grade until he is 5. So he would have to start K and then switch to 1st in Dec. after he turns 5. This could only happen with special school board approval (very iffy).

I am thinking that it may work better to have him do K (and get used to the new school) while doing EPGY math and reading at home. Then maybe we'll look at putting him in 2nd grade the following year, since 1st grade repeats so much of K. Also, I think that a full day may be a little long for him next year.

Cathy

C -

I like the idea of skipping 1st, but I wonder exactly what he will be expected to get out of going to K.....If he's getting his "real academics" at home, what can he be expected to get out of going to K at all? Better to wait a year and join 2nd then?


((shrug)) My son just hated school, and got better and better at putting up with it, but at a very high price.

Have you talked to anyone at the CA gifted association about any possible ways to get around the law, if you should so choose?

T

Sigh. I don't know. They promise differentiated instruction in the public K class... If it's really unacceptable, I can always pull him out. I'm just going to wait and see how it goes.

I've been back and forth over these questions many times. There just doesn't seem to be a really good solution.

I've also heard from the principal that she doesn't look on grade skipping with a friendly eye. I am working on finding a 2nd grade teacher who is amenable to accepting DS if he skips 1st. I've found out the hard way that if the receiving teacher is not happy about the grade skip, they will make life hell.

Cathy

Oh Cathy!
I hope the person with the difficult receiving teacher wasn't you! Although even a bad "transition year" may still be worth it if the rest of the year are better, yes?

I hope I'm not being too hard on you....actually I wish that you weren't being just as hard on yourself. That's why I'm saying all this out loud, so you can get frustrated with that pesky Trinity who keeps asking the difficult questions and not with your own self for asking the same difficult questions.

I know that it sounds like you can try and always pull him if it doesn't work, but really - that plan means that he will have failed, and have learned that Mom doesn't really know what she's doing and that he will be visibly suffering, and that school is stupid, and that if something is unpleasant, Mommy will say he doesn't have to do it. None of that sounds appealing, does it?

As for the in class differentiation, well that's all well and good for kids who like school, enjoy playing with agemates, and are in the top 5 to 2 percent of students academically. None of this sounds like your son, yes?

You asked about the benifits of the YSP - one of them is the support of other parents who have BTDT when one embarkes on a path that is totally different from what all the local friends and family and school staff have every heard of. These unusual kids need unusual educational paths, and it really helps to hear about what others have tried and how it worked.

Please pardon the bluntness, I really hope that everything works out beautifully, and that I'm super wrong about everything. Whatever you decide, we want to hear about the good times and the bad ones,
Trinity

Trinity,

You're not being too hard on me! I don't take your comments personally--in fact it's relieving to discuss these issues with someone. My best friend has a son the same age as DS, but she is considering holding her son out for a year because he is not ready for K. It feels very awkward to discuss this with her.

I know what you mean about pulling him out having negative side effects. I would really only do that as a last resort (i.e. leaving him in would be MORE damaging.)

There's more to the equation though. This is a very crowded district. If DS doesn't attend K next year, he will lose his priority and could be overloaded to a different school. This is a totally inhumane process practiced by our district where the "extra" kids are bounced around from school to school every two weeks until all the classes are absolutely full. It's more "efficient" that way you see, because they don't have to pay any teachers to teach classes that are only partly full.

Maybe we just need to move

What????????

Deep breath

I think if his friend is waiting an extra year it's great in some ways because you can say the same thing. Then next year you can try to find that magic 2nd grade teacher --- or by then he and you will love homeschooling so much that you'll be like - ((eyes rolling)) why did I even consider this for him.

As you say - you may not even be in the district by that time.

Sigh

Trinity