Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional email to 504 coordinator and other stuff

I just wrote the district 504 coordinator an email. I'm copying most of it here. I think she is still working for another couple of weeks. I am trying to lay the groundwork, what do you think of this email?

I don’t know if you’ll remember us—your help was invaluable in the early spring when X was having a lot of trouble in the X program. His 504 was updated and some of the accommodations really saved the day (he managed to get through the year).

The struggles he was having brought a lot of concerns into light. We knew about the organizational/executive function issues, of course, but some of his other “stuff” made me decide I needed more info. He had a neuropsychological evaluation with X on May 12 where she did a new IQ test and also an autism assessment (ADOS). I don’t have the results yet but have realized there is a lot more going on than *just* ADHD. I’m hoping the testing will be helpful.

He had an OT evaluation for fine motor and sensory issues. The 504 also requested a “motor planning” evaluation and I don’t know if that was done. I don’t know enough about testing to understand. He had a VMI test and performed “above average” on everything, but the sensory profile was pretty bad—showed “definite difference” in almost every category. However, from my understanding, the three core teachers conferred and filled out just one survey so their answers were kind of a conglomerate, and I don’t know how useful that is.

Regardless of the results of the testing, it’s clear he needs more from his 504. I would prefer he have an educational evaluation to see if there are any learning disabilities (especially around language), but so far I haven’t been able to achieve that because he tests well (no discrepancy). I guess there is a possibility with the neuropsych report there may be a way to get ed eval but will have to wait and see.

I am having him evaluated through X Speech/Language program this summer and they indicate they will look at pragmatic language as a part of this—his ability to note social cues and express himself appropriately is definitely a deficit area, despite having a very high verbal composite score on his IQ testing.

Having said all of that, I am hoping you can advise me and help me figure out what to do about X.

Some questions:

I think he needs a Functional Behavior Assessment but I guess that can only be done via IEP?

To my understanding, he can have a “Behavior Plan” through the 504? I think he needs this. His behavior is not crazy out of control but because of his social skills issue, he rubs the teachers the wrong way and it ends up being a struggle to communicate. Most of the teachers were really good about communicating with me but there was one who became very frustrated with X and responded to him inappropriately (yelling at him in class about all the zeros in the gradebook and how he was going to fail and not be allowed to continue in the X program). This was very traumatic and I think if we had a behavior plan it would be helpful. I want to be clear that I understand why X is frustrating—and there were several medication problems this year, he performed incredibly better once we got that under control. But I don’t want him to be hurt again because people don’t know what to do.

He currently has two extra days to complete missing assignments. I don’t know if there is a limit to how many days are allowed via 504 but it would be very helpful if we could have more (to include a weekend). I am to check the gradebook but it is not typically up to date.


The 504 coordinator is a very helpful advocate and very responsive--so I think if she is working, I will hear from her soon. Do you have any advice for me in re: that conversation?

Also: is there a specific test to look for "motor planning?" Was that covered by VMI? If not, who (what profession) diagnoses motor planning issues?

I am having phone conversation with the advocate on Friday. I sent his 504 and told her what the "major issues" appear to be. Anything to add to that?

Thanking you in advance.

Keep in mind that there are so many different categories for IEP eligibility, with emotional/behavioral being one of them. I think there is also an Autism category. If the disability is impacting his performance at school and he needs services that a 504 cannot provide (like interventions for organizational skills, or social skills), then he should be able to qualify for an IEP. You might want to wait with this letter until you have your neuropsych report with a diagnosis. In terms of learning disability, which learning disability are you concerned about and what "testing" has been done that doesn't show a discrepancy? For instance, my concern was written expression, but the school never tests written expression. We didn't see a discrepancy until the Woodcock Johnson achievement was done, and the TOWL-4 showed even more of a discrepancy because it included more open-ended writing. So I wouldn't say that tests show no discrepancy unless you know that for sure. I would also be very careful what you put in writing because if you have to escalate this to a legal level, they will dredge up literally everything. You need to find a balance between firm and nice. If you are too nice, they can come back and say "Well, it wasn't clear from this email that she was asking for a school evaluation and she acted like she was happy with a 504."

Also I am not sure if there is a test for "motor planning". DS always had the BOT2 which tests specific skills, and then the school did the Test of Gross Motor Development which is the same. I'm not sure how a test would pick up "planning". I think someone just used the wrong terminology.

Motor planning would be included in the BOT2, though the VMI requires some motor planning to execute, so it could be considered a first round on assessing motor planning. The Rey Complex Figure (RCFT) is also a useful tool for examining fine-motor/visual-organization/planning, which would overlap with motor planning.

I may not fully understand it, but the two times I requested an SPED eval it was denied based on "record review." I think that means because he had good grades and scores really high on state testing, they didn't see an educational impact.

I also didn't know anything about what the letter requesting the eval was supposed to look like, and that may have played a part.

Yes it is expressive language I am concerned about. I don't really have the lingo down but the way he writes, talks, and social communication--all areas of concern for me.

I think it's hard to get an IEP in my district. And I don't think I can "start the clock" until school is back in session. The 504 is reviewed every year, very early, so I'm thinking at least we can get something more comprehensive.

So maybe doing well on VMI was a kind of r/o on motor planning? Are the BOT2 and RCFT tools administered by school psychologist? I don't understand motor-planning, exactly, although can see how it relates to EF, etc. Since his teachers described him as clumsy (per sensory profile narrative), I thought maybe that's what they meant. I think that could have been re: his having so much trouble with his binder and backpack, manipulating them. Slowly.

schools are required to locate and evaluate all children who are suspected or known to have disabilities even if they are receiving passing grades. Just because a child has passing grades/test scores does not mean there isn't an educational impact. Here is one article about "child find"...I think that you should research this as much as you can and start sending links or copies of articles to your district. Our district made the same argument--they claimed that they didn't need to assess DD for math, for instance, because her computerized testing scores are so high (98th percentile or above on every test). I was concerned about fluency and how her EF issues imnpact fluency. After arguing and going back and forth they finally agreed to test her for fluency and it was something like 50th percentile. (When we repeated it later, it was more like 25th percentile off her stimulant medication).When the neuropsych saw the fluency score he said he was surprised they didn't do a full math cluster because of the poor fluency and the discrepancy. Even though she is doing fine in math in terms of scores/grades, the disability still impacts her math, in that she is excessively slow. She needs modifications/accommodations like using a calculator, in the 504 or IEP. See what I mean? If they didn't assess that area, there would be no way for them to know that. Techinically even writing a 504 should involve some sort of eval...not as comprehensive as an IEP, but they should be evaluating anyway if they suspect a disability is having an impact on school performance. we had a 504 written for ADHD and slow processing speed but the accommodations were based on practically no information, since they hardly did anything to evaluate for the 504.

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/child.find.mandate.htm

Are these two separate individuals: The district 504 coordinator who you describe as a helpful advocate, and to whom you have drafted this e-mail... and the advocate with whom you are meeting on Friday?

It seems to be a helpful strategy, if you are working with an outside advocate, to have the outside advocate help manage your communications with the school... so that you do not end up working at crossed purposes.

Yes, two different individuals. The agency advocate stated they will not "do the work" re: communication with the school but would help me learn to do it.

I see your point about crossed-purposes. The agency advocate asked me what my goals are for DS and when I thought about it, they are A) to have a better understanding of what we need to work on, specifically and B) to have written guidelines for the teachers that are specific, in terms of how assignments and behavior issues are accommodated. I thought by going ahead and talking to district advocate (and mentioning still wanting ed eval) it might put us at the top of her list when it's time for 504 review in the fall. This district 504 coordinator has been extraordinarily helpful with two other friends' extraordinarily 2E kids (three children in all). She really seems to *get it.*

I don't think the neuropsych report will reflect anything as far as learning challenges (but I don't know, for sure--I guess it seems like everyone knowledgeable here knows a lot about what IQ scores might indicate). I think we will just have clarification on dx and a WISC-V report, and recommendations.

I understand how it is supposed to work, but have come to the conclusion:

I can't emotionally/physically/mentally handle a battle. I would like the evaluation, as much as anything, so that I have a better handle on what is going on with DS. I see the value of IEP goals and supports. At least at this point--his major issues are with his EF and social skills and those are things for which I'm willing to pursue outside services. *When* he does his work, he does okay--and now I know how to keep an eye out for trouble.

There are some extra weirdnesses bc of the nature of this program and how it's categorized in the district (it's called a "choice" program--there are a few of them--and some differences in which rules apply), so that's a thing I need to research more. I also need to find out if a child with 504 v. IEP would be able to access any school-based services at all, particularly help with organization. Next year there is a mandatory study hall period so I'm wondering if he could go to a resource room for help without an IEP. I need to know more about what is/what is not possible without IEP.

I think that it's important when advocating to keep three things in mind:

1) Know what your overall goal is, as well as the immediate goal that you're attempting to fulfill with a written request.

2) Be brief, straightforward and clear with written communications.

3) When there is a back history (explanation of diagnosis etc) that might by helpful to reiterate with the person you are writing, structure email by stating the question you are asking up front, keep it brief, and include any extra details that they might need to have in a "ps" section.

4) Don't try to be polite by saying things like "I think" or "I'd like". Be positive in what you are asking for, and request it, don't suggest it.

Re this specific letter, you've done a great job of writing down many things that you wish you knew or could get from the school. I don't think it's the right time to send the letter and I don't think the 504 coordinator will have all of your answers. My suggestion is:

1) Wait and talk to your advocate. Your advocate will help you get a firm picture of what you are seeking from the school (IEP eligibility eval, appeal of previous IEP eligibility eval, or 504 update), and give you advice on how to make the request.

2) The 504 coordinator (typically) is not a diagnostician, so he/she is not going to be the person who can best answer a question about things like how do you test for motor planning. You can learn a bit about what motor planning is by googling dyspraxia (developmental coordination disorder). There may be other disorders that are impacted by motor planning too, I just mentioned DCD because it is a diagnosis specifically surrounding motor planning, so info on it includes info on motor planning. You might also try just googling motor planning. Does your ds need further testing for motor planning? I would wait and see what the neuropsych recommends. My dyspraxic ds was diagnosed by his neuropsych. He had further OT testing, but the OT testing was primarily to determine that his issue was motor planning, not actual motor ability/strength, hence his OT testing varied from average to above average. AEH explained tests that are typically administered to assess motor planning - in our case, our neuropsych eval included the Beery VMI and Ray Complex Figure test, and a follow-up eval with our OT included the BOT2. Depending on what the neuropsych saw when he/she evaluated your ds he/she may have included these additional tests (as well as others) and he/she will most likely make a referral to the appropriate additional therapists for evals as he/she feels necessary.

Gotta run and not quite finished - I'll be back

Best wishes,

polarbear

You may very well be able to handle more than you think you can. Talking to the advocate will (I suspect) help alleviate some of your mental weariness, and working with an advocate will help tremendously with making the efforts you put into this worthwhile as opposed to spinning wheels while going nowhere. (I'm not saying that's what you've been doing, but I'm guessing it might *feel* like that much of the time and that adds to feeling worn down and not up for a "battle").


You actually most likely already have this (in the neuropsych eval), you just haven't seen the report yet or had a chance to talk to the neuropsych post-eval to understand what he/she saw and concluded.


I'd again, not try to think through what you're going to have to do privately vs through the school and what type of services you see value in vs don't see value in until you've seen the neuropsych report.


My ds was in a "choice" program when he was diagnosed in early elementary. The choice programs in our district went through a phase where they said (publicly, documented, accessible by all) that the school district policy allowed those programs to *not* enroll children who qualified for them if the children required IEP services, with the alleged reason being that it was too difficult/expensive to deliver those services in any way other than through the neighborhood schools. I was fairly certain at the time (still am) that that policy is not exactly legal, and it disappeared within 2 years of being put in place. You should ask your advocate to explain to you what your child's rights are in the program he's in - it's not something that I suspect you'll need to do much research into, I suspect your advocate will know the answer to that question.


These are the types of questions your advocate can answer for you - and once you know the answers, you determine what you will request from the school, and then you'll be able to compose your letter.

polarbear

It's likely this advocate may be very helpful - but otoh, you don't need her help at this exact minute - you will need her help when you go through your 504 update (if that's the route you pursue). I would save my questions for her until you have a good idea what is in the neuropsych report, as well as advice on how to communicate your questions and concerns from your advocate. Your advocate will not *make* the communications, but most advocates will give you advice on how to approach the communications, how to word things so that you get the point across that you are trying to make, as well as how to word things to be sure you are as successful as possible in advocating.

Re getting on the "top of the list" for scheduling a meeting in the fall - the way to "get on the list" is to make a written request for a meeting to the appropriate contact people at your school. That puts the school on a time clock. It's doubtful that being in contact with a district advocate will alter the school's schedule at all. BUT talking to your advocate now, getting the neuropsych report, getting any other evals the neuropsych recommends in this summer if possible, and getting a plan together (working with your advocate) to determine *what* you are requesting - at that point in time, you'll be ready to put in a written request, and your goal should be to get the written request for either IEP or 504 in before school starts. I suspect the time clock on the request won't start until the first day of school or at least not until the teachers are back before school starts (because they are included in the meeting), but you can ask your advocate and he/she should know.


I wouldn't assume that any of us here have given you information on a diagnosis - we've just given suggestions and shared similarities in what we've seen with re to our own children or other children. Even those of us here who have direct knowledge of the ins/outs of testing haven't seen your specific chid - and a large part of my ds' diagnosis was based on observations made by the neuropsych *during* testing (combined with the testing results plus a detailed developmental history). Your neuropsych will also (or should also) be able to give you advice on what you can pursue through the school district vs what services/etc your ds will need and most likely won't qualify for through the school district.

Hang in there - you're doing all the right things!

polarbear

Motor planning and binder backpack manipulation.

My son in middle school had to carry a three ring white 3" binder. Every bit of school paper had to be organized in it. It had to be cared in a mesh backpack. I went to the pediatrician and got a prescription orders for "more supportive backpack than a limp mesh backpack due to hypotonia dx". Actually the ped would have written it for every single kid who goes to that school because this backpacks are not good for ANY kid's back. He got to use the good backpack. So the three inch binder....we had the "great binder disaster of 2011". Where he kept dropping the damn thing (remember he has low tone) and all the contents would go all over the place...and the last straw was when he dropped it on the way home...in the rain and everything was ruined. (Remember it was three inches so it didn't fit in the backpack with everything else). I finally got one that was about 2.5" with a zipper that closed it around the edges and a strp for core his shoulder and a handle. I told them to deal with the zippy noise. It was too much for him to carry the white one. And even the most strict of them all backed down because I was completely over the whole binder thing. I personally prefer the each class has a color folder with pockets and space in the center with the clips. Then you keep each folder I the backpack. You can keep an extra on with extra paper and a place for random flyers coming home to parent. But nope...the whole school had to use their system.

Okay...so all that to say that my son had binder problems due to both hypotonia (commonly co-morbid with Asperger's) and motor planning and also due to materials not being a good match to his conditions. Can't fix the hypotonia but I could fix the materials. Didn't cost them anything but agreeing to be flexible.

Eco as usual you have gotten A TON of great info above, I just want to add a couple of little things.

When DD was starting kindergarten in an interdistrict magnet I emailed her teacher explaining her fine motor deficits, that she was working with an outside OT in an effort to get her up to grade level for kindergarten and requesting that she be evaluated for in school services. It was a pleasant, matter of fact email. And it did *absolutely* no good. None. Not only was DD not evaluated for in school services her kindergarten teacher actively punished her for the fine motor deficit. "If she doesn't have a 504 or an IEP and she doesn't complete the writing assignment she doesn't go to recess. Period." When I asked about getting her evaluated for services, or for the requisite IEP or 504 so she wouldn't be punished on a daily basis for something she wasn't physically able to do, I was told (repeatedly) "Oh she'd never qualify - she's too smart."

When sitting in an emergency meeting about a month into the school year I brought this up and the assistant principal running the meeting turned ghostly white. The kindergarten teacher confirmed that she knew about DD's fine motor deficit and that she was in OT learning how to hold a pencil. She told the team that I had emailed her with this information before the start of the school year. The assistant principal turned to her and in a quiet, firm voice said "I need to see that email." Then... Nothing. I continued to be told that DD was too smart to qualify for any services and no in school services were provided.

So why am I telling you this? Because what I didn't know then was there is a certain magical combination of words that was needed to unlock the evaluation and services I was asking for and I hadn't used them. My statements and requests and explanations were crystal clear but I did not use the correct phraseology to unlock the magic door. If these people had used good common sense (or been committed to their obligations under child find) they would have done the right thing. However DD was a suburban kid in an interdistrict magnet located within an overburdened urban school district. They were not going to do a dang thing for her that wasn't absolutely and without question required of them.

What I now know, and what I advise every parent who comes to me in RL begging for help as they start the special Ed process, is go to Wrightslaw and research exactly how to word any request you make. Use the correct terminology. Become familiar with and get comfortable using terms like IDEA, FAPE, accommodations, LRE, etc. it shouldn't be necessary to become an amateur spec Ed attorney but sometimes that's the reality.

Also it's great that you found an advocate. IMHO this is an essential tool. Get yourself familiar with as many terms and protocols as you can before you meet with them but don't take any action yet. Make sure you have a clear action plan in place and know exactly what words to use before you proceed.

4 years ago when I started on this journey DeeDee gave me some great advice. If you can consider hiring out the advocacy piece. This is a marathon not a sprint and it will take its toll on you - physically, mentally, emotionally. psychologically. This is your child and the emotional investment is enormous. If the advocate is an unpaid one and saying they won't "do the work" for you and feel you can't handle a battle yourself it may be worth a few hundred dollars to hire someone. You will still be the decision maker and will still be steering the ship but you may be able to find an experienced person to do the heavy lifting.

Hang in there, I always say it's not an even playing field. School districts have been through this hundreds or thousands of times. They have protocols, procedures, attorneys, professional training. For most parents this is a first time experience and there is a steep, steep, STEEP learning curve. Some districts, like the one where DD did kindergarten, use that to their advantage. Cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath and understand that you are in the learning process right now. You don't have to make all these decisions right now.

And remember that this community is here to help you figure it out.

HTH

You may also wish to get DS' input as to goals.

You may wish to have separate lists of goals to discuss with the advocacy agency, for example:

- Goals for parent
- learning of tests, results interpretation, diagnoses, and appropriate remediation approaches, to feel confident and empowered during advocacy
- learning about advocacy:
-- How to make written request to public school for evaluations
-- How to prepare for IEP/504 meetings
-- How to follow-up on school compliance
-- Forging/maintaining positive relationship with advocacy agency and with school
- Having/developing a Plan "B"... other learning environment alternatives

- Goals for student
- understand diagnoses, assist with prioritizing, provide input to remediation plans, instructional differences, and accommodations
- Goals for measuring success of remediation
- Goal for student to remain in gifted program

- Goals for school
- to comply with request for evaluation, IEP/504 development and implementation
- Goals for measuring success of remediation
- Goal for student to remain in gifted program

Wrightslaw contains much of this information, however it may be helpful to you for the advocate to walk you through targeted portions of the material as they apply to your circumstances. (That's also what many posters are doing here, although the advocate may know your situation better and may be able to advise you more specifically on a number of points.)

Agreed.

Cookie, that binder policy is insane!!!

How many middle school kids can make it through the year without trashing out both binder and mesh backpack?



polarbear

Hey they didn't consult me....for some reason the big bad middle schoolers had to have mesh bags for campus secrurity. I said no way! Someone somewhere came up with the three inch binder system....they didn't have a tiny kid with Asperger's and hypotonia apparently or a clutzy kid without a dx...because you know middle school kids are all coordinated. Really I think I am the one who cried when he dropped it in the rain.

She doesn't, though, unfortunately. She asked me to research and explain and I can't find anything in writing. The only reason I have a feeling the choice program is different is bc the program counselor told me that if DS failed it wouldn't mean anything re: eval since it's a choice program. The advocate is regional, not local, may not know the ins and outs of our specific district. DS' program is housed in another school and they are officially enrolled as students in that school--that might help, I'd think.

Okay, I know this isn't funny but it made me LOL. We had the opposite issue (kinda, but it amounts to the same). Students were supposed to have separate folder for each subject (no binder). When everything hit the fan late fall, I tried to organize DS and found he had something like FIVE math folders. Bc he kept not being able to find his, and so the teacher would give him a new one. Five math folders, each with copies of the same work, over and over and over...so I asked if he could use a Trapper Keeper. The Trapper Keeper annoyed the heck out of one teacher bc he bumped stuff on her desk with it. I think she was mad bc he was being allowed to use his "own system" but also bc she told him to take out the planner (to avoid bumping her things) and he said "I can't." He said "I can't" bc *I* had pretty much forbidden him to remove anything--I think he honestly didn't know what to do in the moment, but she perceived it as defiance.

Also made me laugh bc WE found a huge pile of (wet, rained on, ruined) schoolwork in neighbor's front yard, quite by accident. At that point, realized that DS' backpack had a large slit/hole in the bottom. He had been literally leaving a trail of papers behind him for heaven knows how long--neither of us noticed. That is *our* awful clumsy, binder, backpack, folder (of 2014) story. I'm sorry it makes me feel better to know it's not just us, but it does.

Your mention of low-tone makes me wonder about a few things. DS is a sturdy looking guy but fatigues easily and can't do things like rock-climbing, says he has no upper-body strength. Hmmmm.


Thank you for so many specifics--I'm cut/pasting into word doc. The advocate also asked about DS' goals and input--that is the area that stumps me. He totally shuts down about conversations like this, first works himself up and accuses me of "yelling at him" (I nearly never yell, period) and has very little to say, and then asks me to leave him alone. I'm not sure what he'd say about what his goals/issues are other than parroting back to me what I've told him they are. I hope maybe neuropsych report can help there because I do. not. get. it.


Thank you, it really does help. I would hire that stuff out in a microsecond but I can't, limited resources. So we will have to do with "good enough." At least, I do have confidence I can learn this language--"plan for the worst and hope for the best" is not my native tongue.

A) my DS is also a tiny klutzy kid (but with a dx, just not sure it's the right one), and
B) I've cried a lot more than he has over all of this. The joy of cluelessness is his most special "gift."

They also didn't have a child with any EF or attention issues. Or a tendency to lash out with the nearest object.

Have you looked into no cost or low cost options?

There are non-profit parent advocate groups in a number of states (funded by a Federal grant). We utilized our non-profit advocacy group, and never actually had to bring the advocate to a meeting - just having advice over-the-phone helped us *tremendously*. www.wrightslaw is a wonderful resource also. We additionally found helpful advice about assistive technology through a local non-profit. If you haven't looked at the resources listed in the yellow pages at wrightslaw, I'd take a look.

polarbear

I would replace the struck through text with the red bold text above.

Also, you do not want admit that you don't understand something in writing IMO because it can be used to talk down to you/trivialize your inputs later (paranoia is the only thing keeping me sane)

Also, say what you want explicitly and vigorously:-

YMMV
PS
Someone like Jonlaw would probably have the best ideas on a letter like this

Great letter writing advice from madeinuk and spaghetti. I'll just emphasize 2 things to avoid in letters to school:
"I don't know..."
"... made me..."

Thank you so much for all of that advice! Now I'm reading my email and thinking--no wonder I've accomplished next to nothing and also--thank god I didn't try to go to law school.



Maybe at next 504 mtg I should just roll over and expose my tender underbelly. Cower. And maybe cry a little. :P

I guess if being *me* isn't working, I'll need to be someone else for awhile.

This is what I'm using, fed grant funded advocacy group. I'm talking to the regional director. She may refer me to a local person. I'm hoping for someone with some expertise in the 2E bit but doubt the fates will smile.

You are getting great advice here. Don't feel badly about mistakes you may have made -- this is such a huge learning curve for most of us! (And weighted against us as parents, truly.)

Do you happen to have a trusted friend or relative who is a solid editor who could review written correspondence to the school before you send it? I ask because my DH and I perform this task for one another (when I was younger, my mom would do this for important applications, etc.). If we are sending something to a teacher or the principal, whoever wrote it well almost always have the other read and edit it first. I have found that it is so helpful to have another set of eyes, rather than just my own point of view, looking over these kinds of messages.

Another piece of advice I learned at a work training event is to try using "What, where, how, who, when" phrasing, rather than yes/no questions. Then be quiet and take notes. Example "How might you be able to address DS' learning needs?" "Who has experience with children like my DS?" "What are the schools concerns about this situation?" It gets a lot of information on what the other party is thinking without letting them slip into easy answers so quickly.

Oh! I just remembered something a friend told me before I had my first child. She said that one of the hardest things to learn as a parent is that you must be their advocate (I think she was saying with doctors), because there is no one else to speak for them when they are young.

Thank you, I needed that!

Actually--my father is a lawyer. He could look over things for me. I'm accustomed to taking care of everything myself so asking for help will be another learning curve.

May I suggest: Sargent Joe Friday, of the old Dragnet TV show. Tagline: "Just the facts, ma'am."

There are some old posts on the forums which may be of interest, and can be found by searching for the word "factual".

If he is not familiar giftedness and/or the concept of 2e... advocacy... this area of the law... you may wish to share some background with him. A few good quick-study resources may be:
- Wrightslaw ( website )
- From Emotions to Advocacy ( book )
- From Emotions to Advocacy ( fetaweb advocacy website )
- A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children ( book )

Families need to build a support system or team. Some may say it is especially beneficial for family members, including grandparents, to understand the challenges your child faces as this knowledge helps manage their expectations, and if they are involved in his life, they may also then assist with consistency in approaches, reinforcing remediation.

Phone call with advocate was fantastic. She said all the thing people here have shared. She is going to help me access resources and "build a team" for DS.