Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional email to 504 coordinator and other stuff

Have you looked into no cost or low cost options?

There are non-profit parent advocate groups in a number of states (funded by a Federal grant). We utilized our non-profit advocacy group, and never actually had to bring the advocate to a meeting - just having advice over-the-phone helped us *tremendously*. www.wrightslaw is a wonderful resource also. We additionally found helpful advice about assistive technology through a local non-profit. If you haven't looked at the resources listed in the yellow pages at wrightslaw, I'd take a look.

polarbear

I would replace the struck through text with the red bold text above.

Also, you do not want admit that you don't understand something in writing IMO because it can be used to talk down to you/trivialize your inputs later (paranoia is the only thing keeping me sane)

Also, say what you want explicitly and vigorously:-

YMMV
PS
Someone like Jonlaw would probably have the best ideas on a letter like this

Great letter writing advice from madeinuk and spaghetti. I'll just emphasize 2 things to avoid in letters to school:
"I don't know..."
"... made me..."

Thank you so much for all of that advice! Now I'm reading my email and thinking--no wonder I've accomplished next to nothing and also--thank god I didn't try to go to law school.



Maybe at next 504 mtg I should just roll over and expose my tender underbelly. Cower. And maybe cry a little. :P

I guess if being *me* isn't working, I'll need to be someone else for awhile.

This is what I'm using, fed grant funded advocacy group. I'm talking to the regional director. She may refer me to a local person. I'm hoping for someone with some expertise in the 2E bit but doubt the fates will smile.

You are getting great advice here. Don't feel badly about mistakes you may have made -- this is such a huge learning curve for most of us! (And weighted against us as parents, truly.)

Do you happen to have a trusted friend or relative who is a solid editor who could review written correspondence to the school before you send it? I ask because my DH and I perform this task for one another (when I was younger, my mom would do this for important applications, etc.). If we are sending something to a teacher or the principal, whoever wrote it well almost always have the other read and edit it first. I have found that it is so helpful to have another set of eyes, rather than just my own point of view, looking over these kinds of messages.

Another piece of advice I learned at a work training event is to try using "What, where, how, who, when" phrasing, rather than yes/no questions. Then be quiet and take notes. Example "How might you be able to address DS' learning needs?" "Who has experience with children like my DS?" "What are the schools concerns about this situation?" It gets a lot of information on what the other party is thinking without letting them slip into easy answers so quickly.

Oh! I just remembered something a friend told me before I had my first child. She said that one of the hardest things to learn as a parent is that you must be their advocate (I think she was saying with doctors), because there is no one else to speak for them when they are young.

Thank you, I needed that!

Actually--my father is a lawyer. He could look over things for me. I'm accustomed to taking care of everything myself so asking for help will be another learning curve.

May I suggest: Sargent Joe Friday, of the old Dragnet TV show. Tagline: "Just the facts, ma'am."

There are some old posts on the forums which may be of interest, and can be found by searching for the word "factual".

If he is not familiar giftedness and/or the concept of 2e... advocacy... this area of the law... you may wish to share some background with him. A few good quick-study resources may be:
- Wrightslaw ( website )
- From Emotions to Advocacy ( book )
- From Emotions to Advocacy ( fetaweb advocacy website )
- A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children ( book )

Families need to build a support system or team. Some may say it is especially beneficial for family members, including grandparents, to understand the challenges your child faces as this knowledge helps manage their expectations, and if they are involved in his life, they may also then assist with consistency in approaches, reinforcing remediation.