Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Ugh/weird hyper-observant worry thing?

This day. This WEEK. DH is away at an international astronomy conference for work this week...so I get to play single parent to my adorable, lovable, amazing, intense crazy monster children. (note: DH goes away at least once/year for this sort of thing, or telescope time etc...it makes me appreciate single parents SO MUCH because I don't know how they do it all the time. Seriously.) Anyway, DH has been gone a day, and I had both kids DS5 and DS2 all day. And I had to work (remotely). And they were awful. It was rainy, they were manic, little one was hulksmash baby, DS5 was whiney mess - I'm boooored, I need heeeelp (I admit, I needed a couple hours this morning to complete a work project that was literally given to me this morning and was extremely time sensitive so there was a lot of, NOT RIGHT NOW I CANT OMG IM WORKING!!) Sigh.

I think I just wanted to vent. Because I have another 5 days to go.

Also of note, (and I don't know if it relates to DH not being around or what) but DS5 has been awfully weird these last couple days (aside from the whining and the lack of listening, that is.) He has been...how do I even describe it...hyper-observant? In an...almost makes me think OCD but not really kind of way. He is just...spotting every stain, every little bit of paper on the floor, odd specks of dirt, every cut, bruise, mark on himself and his brother and myself and it's a stream of, "what is that? why is it there? How did it happen? Are you SURE it's a ..." We got into a discussion about bruises tonight because he skeptical that we BOTH had bruises since mine was 'greenish' and his was 'reddish'. And then it went into more depth... I feel like there seems to be a bit of a...worry behind all of it. But when I say 'I don't know' to some of the questions or 'why does it matter that there is a tiny stain on your 2 year old brother's shirt or where it came from because who knows...he's 2." He seems ok with it. It's just odd. I don't know. I'm rambling. OH, he also was super worried about losing a die to this new game we got. kept asking if it was there. wanted me to check. And he started crying when he thought one of his puzzle pieces were missing today. I can't help thinking that maybe it's a control thing...about daddy not being around? but it's just...odd. Is this a 'normal' 5 year old thing? (normal used loosely). It has just been very intense the last day or so. Thoughts? Commiserations? Wine? I will accept any and all of the above.

M

Yes to all of the above.

I grew up on stories of how my older sib, as a toddler/preschooler would walk around the house greeting all the inanimate objects, on return from trips...then our kids were born, and lo, and behold, they did the same thing! I would say it's a security thing--controlling the things he can control, in the absence of one of his usual anchors.

Oh wow. Any chance you can hire a sitter to come help with them so you can work?

ODS was like that at ages 4-6 ish when dad was out of town and would behave rather more intensely than useful. It was awful. He was also like that the first time I took him on an overnight by myself once he realized daddy was staying home, tears, tears, panic,etc.

Yup, at that age, kids were crazy when DH was away. Their world was out of alignment, and they didn't like it. DS particularly always found his security in his surroundings, rather than in routines. A change to the physical surroundings - move the sofa, say - was not good. Move the Daddy? Way bad.

Thanks everyone - I'm going to put it down to DH being away for now. I can imagine how tough it is for the kids...I mean, I know how I'M handling it (not very well, lol). It's hard for all of us...and I guess we all deal with it in different ways.

I appreciate the feedback - you guys are great.

did daddy tell him to take care of mommy by chance? wonder if he is being more cautious and wondering about things in great detail to live up to some idea like that...? otherwise, yes, I'd just figure it is due to dad being gone. He is probably now old enough to get it, more than in previous years.

Apart from this, how was the separation handled? Parents often are their own worst enemies in this, because there's a tendency to over-dramatize. A parent worried about separation anxiety in their child can often act in ways that inspire it where it would never have happened in the first place.