Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Son very anxious about environmental issues

The grade 6 social studies curriculum seems to be mostly based on environmental issues. This is causing my son a lot of anxiety. He feels like he's getting it from all sides. Science topics have lead to discussions on solar flares destroying the world, robots and AI destroying the world. Other topics like climate change, overpopulation and general end of the world scenarios are haunting him.

He is in a pull out program once a week which seems, this year, to be populated with more blurty kids who offer up opinions on end of the world topics (unsolicited). They are likely also bombarded with these topics and are trying to make sense of them.

He is getting increasingly anxious and has now twice been unable to go to school (wobbly full of tears) because of his anxiety of the topics to be covered those days and has withdrawn from the pull out program.

I have spoken to his teacher who, very intelligently is also teaching the kids about mindfulness and how to deal with stress. We agreed that he could request to go to the bathroom if he felt overwhelmed by the topic. That doesn't seem to be enough for him (and he's mortified that I spoke to his teacher).

Help? Advice?

Have brought up the topic of counselling but he is refusing. Help on that topic too please. Not sure how to get a reluctant child to go to counselling.

The timing on this is critical as being "out of the norm" is very stressful at this age.

Two general approaches to dealing with these fears are to
(1) decide not to worry about things you can do nothing about OR
(2) do some research and convince yourself that the sky is not falling.

People were talking about overpopulation in the 1970s, too, and I remember worrying about it as a child. Since then, fertility rates have declined dramatically around the world, and I'd argue that the bigger problem is that many developed nations have fertility well below replacement level. Does your son know how much fertility has declined around the world?

The U.S. is cleaner than it was decades ago. Air quality used to be terrible in some major U.S. manufacturing centers. In general, things are getting better.

And leaded gas has been phased out (and leaded aviation gas is scheduled to be phased out). Maybe this is why my kids seem a lot smarter than me ...

It is normal for kids to have anxiety or fears. They can change with age. If they persist is then you might have problems. It is almost healthy in the long run for kids to deal with and cope with anxiety and fears.

There are a several books out there that deal with stress and anxiety, grab him one. Read it first or read it with him or let him read it on his own. I'm sure you could get him to talk to you about it.

I would explain to my DC that historically, these things tend to go in phases:

1) Discovery
2) Awareness
3) Advocacy
4) Political will
5) Plans of action
6) Permanent change

I would use some examples of environmental wins, and how strongly those changes were resisted by powerful interest groups, which required significant public activism to overcome. But as Bostonian said, air quality in the US is better (globally, not so much), US forestation percentage is growing, DDT, lead-based paint, and asbestos are nearly nonexistent, and the ozone layer is in recovery.

We just happen to be in different phases of other environmental challenges, particularly with greenhouse gas production (a complex problem with many contributing factors, where limited permanent change has been accomplished, but still lacking political will in some respects) and the results of hydraulic fracking, which is only barely beginning to touch the awareness of most people.

So, it's important that your DS's generation is educated on these issues and made aware, because they're likely to be involved in the solutions later. But we've faced these kinds of threats before, and we've solved a number of them.

Bostonian I love your approach. I would even add:
3) figure out how to be a part of the solution

I will talk to him about these ideas.

Something else I'm doing is digging up some good news youtube videos and stories. I might suggest them to his teacher so she could show them at the end or beginning of her classes. Perhaps he's not the only one feeling anxious about this information.

Dude, that's excellent advice. Breaking it down into stages and giving examples of issues that have been dealt with successfully might help. I will pass this onto the teacher as well. Again, there might be more kids who will be able to sleep better knowing this. Adults too come to think of it.

Thanks for your help!

There are two phrases that mean approximately the same thing, but that are psychologically much different.

1. Problem solving.
2. Solution finding.

I choose the later. Let's focus on finding the solution. Yes, it is good to acknowledge there is a problem, but that should lead immediately to solution finding.

Yes. With the robots-type things, remind him his classmates are getting this mostly from books - fiction books. Evaluate different end-of-the-world situations so he can see they don't hold water - so talk about how, for example the sun won't turn into a supernova, because it has billions of years to go and it's been scientifically proven, etc. I would remind him much of what he sees on the news is targeted towards the negative, not the positive.
Even if he can't see an immediate effect of his recycling or biking vs. driving, show him examples where small changes have built up to cause change, like with pollution and animal or forest conservation. Maybe you could suggest he shows some of this to his class and helps them make a difference?

I hear you about the anxiety - this is something our DD10 is also dealing with. Her anxiety is around different things, but certain subjects at school also trigger it. Is your son anxious in other areas? If so, therapy may be a good idea.

Our DD also is/was reluctant to talk to a therapist- she prefers to discuss her worries with only myself and her dad, and feels embarrassed to have anybody else know about it. She was mad at me when I told her teachers about her anxiety - but really there's no choice there, they needed to know what was going on. I told her teachers that she didn't want anyone to know about it and they've been very good accommodating that.

When I told her about the therapist we are seeing now, I said that mom and dad needed help to know how to help her with her anxiety. I think that made sense to her.

Here are also a couple of links I found about how to talk to your child about therapy. Maybe something useful in there for you...



http://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...esnt-want-to-go-to-therapy-but-needs-to/


http://www.hvcct.com/new/?q=prepare