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The irony, of course, is that after a year's pause, we just allowed him to move on to book 4 of HP (we had concerns about the deaths and frightening themes). But I don't think that was the librarian's issue, somehow....

I imagine the librarian was acting on a supposed (imagined) community standard about what parents want their kids reading-- maturity as well as difficulty.

Agree with AEH-- my kids really do put books they encounter down if the content is beyond what they want to process emotionally right then. I imagine that not all kids do, so those families might need explicit rules. We haven't needed them.

(And I would despair of enforcing that sort of rules around here in any case... the kids will read what they find...)

This is so strange to me (and is every time a thread like this starts). I was given free reign of the school libraries when I was growing up in small town America and also was able to roam and check out books in our small public library. I can't recall anyone ever saying a word about something not being a book I could check out. (My mom, on the other hand, did forbid a few, but not many. She should have hidden some of the books on her own shelves, since I read a few sneakily that were definitely not right for me subject-wise, think nuns being murdered in the Congo) I was really into some non-fiction subjects that wouldn't have had much available in the children's sections.

DS8 is at a Catholic school and also seems to be able to check out whatever he likes. At our wonderful public library, the librarians have walked us to the "adult" section when books were there that DS wanted or might like. I'm just shaking my head that a librarian thinks it is her/his job to play book cop.

I thought the good thing about reading is that the age inappropriate stuff will just go over their head and they can still enjoy much of the book. Unlike movie or TV that can expose kids to things they should not see.

That said, I have not started my son on Harry Potter despite being a big fan myself. For that matter, I have not even showed him Finding Nemo. He found the Penguins in Madagascar scary. I cannot imagine he would not be scared by Happy Potter.

I strongly advised DD against one book when she was 7 (Diary of Anne Frank) and as I say, we put the later books of HP on pause for DS. That was based on incidents with him getting sad or scared with some other media. At this point, DD10 can kind of read whatever, though I may tell her the content of a book if I think she won't react well (eg: Hunger Games, which she chose not to read after I described it). I just moved her into the YA section, which has me slightly concerned, but she's pretty great about talking to me about stuff.

Did anyone else think of thestrals when they read this, or just me?

The later HP books do contain violence and horror. While 1-3rd books are written for the 8-12 range, the later books are teen in content.

That said that librarian shouldn't be restricting and making that decision. When my son was in elementary the library had this rule that K-2nd grade kids had their section and were steered towards selecting books from that part of the library. But they were supposed to take out one book from their AR reading level and so those who had higher levels were allowed in the upper stacks. One of my volunteer jobs in K was to take the 'advanced' readers and help them select books in the library. I got questioned the first time by the librarian but she never told the kids they couldn't check out any books.

just want to put it out there that no I don't believe in exposing children to sexual content, my kids will be sheltered for as long as I can control it - however.....

At a primary school library there will be no books containing this sort of thing. At intermediate and high school, yes of course there will, and I have to repeat, if your kid is attending public intermediate or high school they are getting nothing new from those books. I agree 100% with what Aeh says about the info being academic.

As for the public library - if you have a child under 12, are you or a responsible adult not with them? Might just be me because my kids aren't at that age but I can't imagine my 11 year old making the trip to the library these days by herself. Of course we do not have reliable public transport. I do know that our library has a system where notes can be put on a library account - so if I want I can add one that says, please explain that there is adult content in a book before DD checks it out - or whatever.

I agree that as a parent you should monitor what your child is reading and provide thoughtful feedback/advice about the suitability of the book. I think we need to let our kids know that it's ok to start a book and not finish it, and questions they might like to ask before choosing a book.

I think it's helpful for a younger child choosing a book from the older section to say - I've chosen To Kill a Mockingbird. I can see it's about racial tension (or taxidermy), is there anything that you think might upset me in this book. Or in my case as an 8 year old reading The Amityville horror (never checking it out from the library because I KNEW it was not appropriate) - I would have benefited from someone saying, I know it says true story but it really is just a very scary story and it will give you nightmares and when you are 40 if you see red lights outside your window you'll have flashbacks. I stil would have read it, but maybe I wouldn't have been quite so terrified!

I think learning to self censor is such an important thing to do. Today's kids need this skill more than we ever did, to be able to turn on the internet, and not click on a link or search a particular term is something that they find hard to do and they are becoming traumatised through images they are definitely not ready (and I would argue never should be ready) to view.

By keeping them young and not letting them explore their limits of what they find suitable or not, too adult, too scary, upsetting, uncomfortable, sexual or confusing we are setting them up for a big fall. I want my kids to know before they see objectionable stuff if it is going to be upsetting for them and that comes from testing the waters a little. Not every kid is going to want to read age inappropriate material and that's great. But I think with a little guidance the child doesn't have to face being blindsided with traumatic material.

I don't know what today's equivalent is but where would some us be without Judy Blume? I remember reading Forever at 11 and I think it was pretty instrumental in helping me make good choices when it came to boys.

Anyway re the OP, your librarian needs to pull her head in.

My kids attended a K-8 school. So the library contained books that went well into high school literature. Even the elementary schools around here go K-6. Advanced 6th grader readers should have access to teen material & 'adult' reading level books. So I wouldn't say that a elementary library might not have books with mature content in them. I actually sure hope they do.

I really agree with this. Good points, especially regarding the Internet.

Re Harry Potter, I think due to the popularity of the books, we all know the content and that later books are dark and contain scary and sad parts. But many, many children's books that are less widely known also do. (DD read some especially grim historical fiction in school in 2nd and 3rd grade--and that was based on reality.) Some of them are aimed much younger than HP. I find some of the worry about HP a little misplaced and suspect it comes about because as adults, we're likely to have actually read those books.