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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 675
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 675 |
We're still pre-teen in this house, so no BTDT. But it sounds like your DS is having a hard time seeing the world through other people's eyes. Yes, OK, some are idiots. But many are responding to their own realities in the best ways that make sense for them. And yes, it's possible that could even include pregnant 14 year olds - I am reminded of how often people on this forum have pointed out that if our children's behaviour makes no sense to us, then we have yet to get well enough into their heads to see the perspective from which, to them, their choices seem logical.
All that to say, can any of you who have lived with 14-year old boys perhaps recommend some good books for Cecelia's DS? Ones about people who make some bad choices, but help you see why they would choose as they do? Fiction might be easiest, but I would imagine there must be some good biography that gets into this space, too. Cecilia - could you suggest anything about your son's interests or potential role models, that might prompt some specific reading suggestions?
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,363
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,363 |
But it sounds like your DS is having a hard time seeing the world through other people's eyes. Yes, OK, some are idiots. But many are responding to their own realities in the best ways that make sense for them. And yes, it's possible that could even include pregnant 14 year olds - I am reminded of how often people on this forum have pointed out that if our children's behaviour makes no sense to us, then we have yet to get well enough into their heads to see the perspective from which, to them, their choices seem logical. ITA with MichelleC. FWIW, I have a 15 year old son and two daughters close behind in age. I don't have a book recommendation but if this was going on here I would talk to my ds to help him try to see things through other people's perspectives. I'd also really try to help him see that chances are those three girls didn't *choose* to be pregnant - and quite possibly didn't even choose to be careless. I think most of us (adults) can probably look back at our own teenage selves and find examples of ways in which we acted carelessly but didn't realize it simply because we were young. polarbear
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 21
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 21 |
Boxers & Saints, Gene Luen Yang
The Schwa Was Here & Antsy Does Time, Neal Shusterman
Nation, Terry Pratchett
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,489
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Boxers & Saints, Gene Luen Yang
The Schwa Was Here & Antsy Does Time, Neal Shusterman
Nation, Terry Pratchett The Schwa Was Here for a 15 year old gifted boy? My DS15 & a current sophomore in H.S. read this book in if I remember right 4th grade. While it might be on topic, if I suggested my son read I wouldn't get very far. I don't know the other books, but I can imagine my son enjoying the Terry Pratchett book.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 882
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Posts: 882 |
Notes from the Underground.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,453
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Joined: Mar 2013
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Sounds like normal teenage brain development, which has binary thinking as one of its primary characteristics. This would be augmented in a gifted child, due to higher cognition and emotional sensitivity.
So, it's a phase. Continued teaching of empathy and perspective-taking would be helpful until it passes.
I'll let you know when it passes. I'm not quite there yet, myself. Me too, I am afraid.
Become what you are
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,453
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I think we all struggle, to one degree or another, with actually understanding other's views/choices before we dismiss them. Ain't that the truth!
Become what you are
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Sounds like normal teenage brain development, which has binary thinking as one of its primary characteristics. This would be augmented in a gifted child, due to higher cognition and emotional sensitivity.
So, it's a phase. Continued teaching of empathy and perspective-taking would be helpful until it passes.
I'll let you know when it passes. I'm not quite there yet, myself. Me too, I am afraid. Indeed. I feel like I spend much of my life compensating for the idiocy of others. In a meta kind of sense, I mean. It can be quite depressing. 
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 615
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 615 |
For me, learning empathy for "normal" people was not possible until I was able to get away from them. (For me, that happened when I went to college.) I believed in an abstract way that all people deserved empathy, but for an intense adolescent, it simply wasn't possible to actually feel that for the people who were making my life a living hell. I had to get into a situation where they weren't having such a direct impact on my life.
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