Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Supplementing verses Hot-Housing?

How do you feel about supplementing the school's curriculum at home, particularly in something like math?

I have been thinking about this after reading all of the lovely posts concerning home-schooling curriculum and the wonderful options that are open to learning. DS8 is so very fascinated with learning, and positively glows when he is challenged. He continually asks me to get him a book on algebra. However, I worry that if I introduce algebra, for instance, to him now because he is excited about it, then he will be all the more bored at school. Supplementing at home seems like it makes the whole grade acceleration issue just that much worse. But it is sooo very hard to try to put the breaks on his learning for the sole reason that it will throw him more out of synch with the other kids. How do you balance a child's love of learning and their eagerness to continually push themselves forward with a school system that does not want them to race ahead?

Has this been addressed in any previous posts? Does the term "hot-housing", which I have just recently learned from this web site, apply to this scenario? And does anyone else with kids in the public or private school system struggle with this? Has anyone figured out an answer?

My dd8 works on her math every weekday (don't do anything on weekends) for about 30-45 min. unless she has a lot of homework from school. This includes summer unless we are out of town on vacation. We use this time to explore subjects she may want to learn about but is not yet exposed to at school.

She also reads a lot. I don't push the reading but I also don't discourage it. She is pretty much allowed to read anything she wishes (age appropriate of course). She works on her own "experiments" and does her own research. She has worked on everything from learning sign language to bird behavior. She, I also found out, likes to "team up" with other kids at school and conduct experiments at lunch time. This week she has spent a considerable amount of time in our back yard "observing" butterflies, worms and birds. She has drawn some lovely sketches of her findings.

She loves poetry so she spends quite a bit of time writing as well.

I would never discourage my dd from learning. She enjoys doing this. It is not like she will run out of things to explore/lean. My dd is a happy, curious child. All a mother can ask for.

I believe "hot housing" would be better described as a parent pushing the child to do something the child is not ready or willing to do in order to give the child an advantage at school.

My dd attends a school for the gifted, so she has the advantage of teachers that "get her" and will always provide her with new challenges. If she has mastered a subject, they will give her something else to do.

Bianca's experience is the polar opposite from mine. Our public school did nothing for kids ahead of the curriculum in second grade, so the more DS went ahead, the more problematic daily school became. As I recall from Bianca's previous posts, her DD's daughter's school is fabulous and attentive to her daughter's rapid progress and accelerates in the classroom accordingly. (True? I love reading about your DD's school and her phenomenal success there!) I think ebeth raises a good point - the farther afield of the curriculum your child gets, the bigger the problem without in school accommodation. But no reason to hold a child back arbitrarily. If I knew more, I could have found activities that taught more depth rather than accelerated subjects, I suppose. But I also didn't want him to sit there for a year without learning anything new or doing challenging work. I certainly don't have the answer, but I think it's helpful to see both extremes in back to back posts.

Agreed. Often, when not in a great school situation with an HG+ kid, I think it really winds up being a case of picking your poison: a bored child not challenged at school *OR* at home,

or

a child who gets challenged at home and then has trouble with being ahead at school.

IMHO, in the end, the school has to get the child and offer appropriate work, acceleration in some form must occur, or other challenges (music, sports, etc.) must be found to keep the child occupied. Or some combo thereof must be forged. Otherwise you risk losing the child to boredom, underachievement, low self-esteem, and trouble-making.

I think the definition of hot-housing is negative, pushy, over-invested stage-parents who want little overachievers regardless of the cost to the kids. Usually love and affection are withheld if the child doesn't perform up the the standards set by the hard-driving parent.

As you can probably tell, anything child-led and enjoyed by the child do NOT fit into the hot-housing category for me. Such things are just good parenting. I'd say that if you are thinking about putting the brakes on HIS attempts to learn, you are DEFINTELY not hot-housing! Rest easy

Wow, Bianca. I think your child's school sounds wonderful. I'm afraid that our situation is closer to questions, though. We have explicitly been told by our son's teacher (last year) that she could not give him anything more advanced than that grade level for fear of stepping on the next year's teacher's toes. (I wanted to yell "Step on those toes! Step, step, step!) Other than another, or second, grade acceleration (which I would be very hesitant about) or subject acceleration, there is really no way to coax the school into providing more.

We do find other ways of stimulating his learning outside of the classroom. We spend time on the weekends hiking and hunting for fossils. DS loves anything to do with Earth science, physics, and chemistry... and so he races ahead in those areas. He also reads voraciously and we go almost daily to the library. We currently have books on how to draw chinese character, spy/decoding books, and biographies on famous inventors. (The Wright Brothers are a great example of the continual struggle necessary in order to succeed!)

But somehow in those subjects (reading and science), you are not as penalized by racing ahead. Most kids, in a particular grade, read at a variety of level, and so having a child who is advanced in reading is not too terrible detrimental. And since science is such a small part of the total learning time in elementary school, if you are ahead then you do not have hours of boredom per week. (This may come back to haunt us in later years when science becomes a slightly more important part of the curriculum!) But math... Math is such an intensive subject at school that if you have mastered multiplication by first grade, then you are doomed to years of waiting for your classmates to catch up. That leads to many, many hours per week of drudgery.

So I was curious. If you have a math-loving kid, how do you keep his enthusiasm for learning math going without consigning him to boredom at school? Should we just turn him loose and let him go through math as he pleases and let the school deal with it with subject acceleration? Has anyone walked down this path enough to offer warnings or praise?

I have at least one math-loving kid. The 3 year old is showing signs --- namely she asks me to do maths with her, sometimes even when I think I overdid it yesterday.

I teach the eldest two-ish days per week, summer included. Sometimes he doesn't want to do it, sometimes he does, sometimes he gets very excited by whatever he's learning. Graphing a line/slope was a big hit recently. I did his grade level math homework last year, as I preferred him to spend his time on more advanced stuff.

Next year he and his brother are going to a school that groups by ability. They place kids at whatever subject level they're ready for and "don't see much point in making them do something they already know how to do." We're all pretty excited about this school. The last one was pretty rigid, though they did offer a grade skip. I've mentioned that I'm going to report on how it works out.

I'm a big believer in challenging kids outside school if school isn't providing this. I feel it's very important for my kids to tackle things that are hard --- it's an important skill in life.

Val

I found that through the years my dd9 (going into 4th grade) has been consistently about a year ahead of the math curriculum at school even with no outside math, simply because I answer her random questions. After a couple of years of her learning almost nothing in math at school I began advocating for her to have more advanced math at school. I won a small victory by convincing our district GT coordinator to purchase a few ALEKS licenses for the elementary PG kids for the summer. My dd is working on ALEKS as I type. (I asked her to do one section tonight since she has been busy all week and not had any time to work on it. After she finished the required section she wanted to do a few more because "ALEKS is fun.")

I decided that my dd needed to work on math outside of school because I felt it was unacceptable for her to go long periods of time without learning any math. She needs to exercise that part of her brain too. I guess I really got motivated after observing my dd's class one day. During the math lesson on fractions my dd was called on to answer or volunteered to answer many of questions that the other students had difficulty answering. She did this while sitting with her back to the overhead projector and reading a book. After witnessing that there was no way I could deny her need for more challenging math. I also came to the conclusion that whether she was one year ahead or three years ahead in math the grade level curriculum would always be boring for her so I could not justify denying her the enjoyment of learning more challenging math any longer.

At our son's elementary school, they let us use a homeschool math (K12) curriculum through an accredited online charter school. I would prepare his assignments the night before and send them with him. He worked on his math when other kids did their math. He did 5th grade through pre-algebra while in 4th and 5th grade (and not working very hard at it). When he moved to the middle school for 6th he took algebra with the honors 8th graders. He had a high school certified math teacher and I could really see the enthusiasm for math take off with an enthusiastic and knowledgeable teacher.

The elem teachers were very glad to not have to teach him more advanced math and were quite open to this solution. I know many of you are not this lucky. What I really liked about using the accredited program through the online charter school was that there was no arguing at all when we got to middle school. I simply showed them his transcript for pre-algebra and they put him into the correct class. There was not talk of "holes."

I know that there are many barriers that would make such a plan impossible for most of you. In fact, there is such a waiting list at our state's online charter, I'm not sure if they would take a dual-enrolled student anymore. But it was a perfect solution for us, so I wanted to mention it just in case someone else can pull it off.

The term for supplementing the school's curriculum is afterschooling. There is an Afterschoolers board http://afterschoolers.yuku.com/directory. Strangely, although the board is all inclusive, many of the kids are gifted. I think the kids pull the parents into afterschooling rather than the parents pushing. And a couple of families have moved into homeschooling.

I've struggled with this for many years (well, 3yrs but it seems like 10). I was strongly encouraged not to teach DS8, then 5, math at home b/c he'd be bored at school. He's not as gifted in math as many here but at 5 he had figured out simple multiplication and division, could add simple fractions conceptually (1/2+1/2, 1/2+1/3, 2/3+1/3, 3/4+1/2 etc). He was at that age where mastering math facts (add/sub, multi/div) would have been fun. He would have delighted in beating his previous times etc. Kindergarten was a disaster. He cried every night just about. Constantly complained about math. By the end of K, math was a boring subject. A teacher-friend said I needed to turn that around and teach him math at home. So the summer between K and 1st I began teaching him with Rightstart Math (RS) and Sinagpore math. The problem was that conceptually he was way ahead of the curriculum but I wanted him to have that solid foundation and I just hate skipping. RS math is difficult to compact b/c it's subtle and an exercise will be the building blocks for something later on. Anyhow, that went well. He did half of level A and all of level B, afterschooling in less than a year. Most would take at least 1.5yrs to do it. So I thought hhhhh, he's pretty good at math lol. But 2nd grade there was more homework. DS is really disliking school now and it's nightly battles to get him to do his homework, and morning battles to get him to go to school. So I dropped math. He now has no passion for math. Has no energy or desire to learn math facts. I'm spending this summer trying to re-instill this BUT also trying to get him to be proficient in math since the school isn't expecting much. I want to teach him to persevere when it gets harder, the mental discipline to work through it when it's boring (learning facts), etc.

So, I think I"m with Kriston. It's a choose your poison.... a) afterschool math and risk boredom at school or b) don't afterschool math and still have boredoom at school.

OK so instead of math in K, I swayed him w/ chess, strategy games, chemistry and physics, nature study, biology. It's only a bandaid. When I talk to people about what science will be like in 3rd or 4th or even 5th, I think "Oh I certainly hope there is more to it." Science isn't bad for him now even though it's not been anything he doesn't know b/c he loves science and I think enjoys being the expert at school. Math on the otherhand, I call him my concept kid. He makes big leaps but doesn't want to do the work of the small steps in between. I feel this is what was lost by not ASing math in Kindergarten. Also, the mental skills he had in doing mental math, was lost in 2nd grade b/c it was all pencil and paper.

So far my 2nd son, DS5, entering K in the Fall, I'm doing it differently. He was adding and subtracting just before 2 or just after 2. Doing 40+20, 30-20, and negative numbers when he was 4 (all from listening to brother, not being actively taught himself). At 4yrs old, I started him w/ RS A. He finished a K/1st grade curriculum in 4mths or so going at his own pace. We went right into Level B (1st/2nd some 3rd grade concepts I've been told) and will be finished in about 2months. It will have taken him about 9mths to do level B and we skipped days, weeks of not doing math and never did it daily. So when I look at it realistically, a kid like him is going to be bored in math at school b/c he learns so quickly. And that is what I've always felt is DS8's problem. It wasn't that he was so far ahead of the curriculum like most here, but that he learns so quickly. He complains of the teacher explaining things over and over and over.

So, I'm too early in the game to tell you if this will work out better. I'm trying to focus on the long term. DS8 wants to be a scientist. He will need a strong math foundation. I refuse to let the school screw that up so I'm choosing to afterschool math at home. DS8 is finishing up RS level C in the next month, and will be moving into RS level D. we're also dabbling in basic algebra to restore his love of math, as well as exploring Geometry with Zome when it gets here tomorrow. We're also doing LEGO MINDSTORMs robotics for logic, critical thinking skills.

sorry this got so long but I hope it helps you in deciding what to do. EVERY kid is different and needs different things. It's our job to figure out what that is and if the school can't do it, we have to - that's my motto.

DS8 did complain recently that the trouble is I teach him things at home and then he gets it again at school. Talk about guilt trip. but we sat and talked about how those were things he started teaching himself 2-3 YEARS ago. I just filled in the gaps. If he had had no interest in math whatsoever, I wouldn't have afterschooled at at all. The problem now is that I've always been a year behind him curriculum wise. I look at RS D and think "wow conceptually he's got well over half this materal." But by going through it, he'll be solid in it. That's the part he hates. That's the price I paid listening to those who told me not to teach him math at home. AGAIN, let me state, this is MY kid lol YMMV depending on the type of kid you have!!! Ds's self-esteem started plummetting b/c he got to a point in math that he couldn't figure out on his own. he started saying "I'm not good at math. Math is boring." I needed to fix that pronto!

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Dazed!!!

Your DS8 is carbon copy of my DS8! He loves math. He taught himself multiplication, division, and fractions all before kindergarten. He has always been fascinated by big, abstract concepts like negative numbers and infinity (by age 4). And he wants to be a scientist when he grows up.

But I was constantly told not to teach him anything during those ages. My in-laws would get so upset that he knew so much. They would corner DH or I and say things like, "There's not going to be anything left for the school to teach him!" And when we were facing the decision for grade acceleration last year, we got all of the "I told you so" speeches and "You brought this on yourselves" lectures.

But I don't want to see his enthusiasm for math fade away like you described. He is so hungry for learning that if you show him anything challenging, then he lights up. I let him look at the sample Explore tests that were mentioned in another post, and he positively glowed while tackling the english and math even though he struggled with some of it. Hunger is the only way to describe it. He repeatedly asked if there were any other math questions that he could answer. There is certainly a drive, or internal competition there now.

But at school he thinks he is really dumb in math. If there are other kids in the class who sit and faithfully do their worksheets and memorize their multiplication tables or addition facts faster than him (because he is bored and staring out the window... or more likely bothering the kid next to him!), then he thinks he is not as smart in math. It is so very frustrating to watch his self-esteem dwindle as he begins to question himself. Maybe it is unhealthy for him to expect to always be the best in something. I certainly don't expect him to be the best in everything all the time. But it is hard to watch when you know that he could fly if they would just let him use his wings.

Maybe I'm just being stubborn. I don't really want to pick my poison. I want my school to be a poison-free environment!

Sigh. Okay... I'll return to reality! And thanks for the term "afterschooling" and the link. That was just what I was looking for. I guess I will have to start looking into AS workbooks for supplementing. It is taking me some time to completely accept the fact that he is all that different from your average kid. And part of that acceptance is figuring out what I need to do to support him the best that I can.