Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Parenting 3 gifted kids

I didn't mean to sound so pessimistic, I definitely think there are workable solutions and I appreciate all the ideas. I guess that's what I get for writing the message in fits and starts since this morning- it doesn't sound anything like I meant it to, lol.

I've always been the "mean" mom and I'm not sure when I got confused and started caring whether my kids liked me (and even now, I still don't care all that much, just enough to make me crazy). I think more than anything I need to remember that I don't care if they think I'm mean. My primary job, no matter how smart they are, is to grow functioning adults, not children who think I'm their best friend.

Thanks for the kick in the pants

I didn't mean to kick you in the pants. Sorry about that. At least you liked it.

I just meant that I think homeschooling makes it harder to balance, and sometimes it's easier to just say "Nah, it's not worth the effort." Well, this is one that for me has been worth the effort. YMMV, naturally.

Well, maybe HS ing doesn't make it harder exactly--in some ways it's easier because there ARE actually more hours in the day to spend with your kids--but it is different than what those of us who are "emergency HSers" expected parenting to look like, and I've found that I had to spend some time figuring it all out. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm utterly sympathetic! I'm having to figure it out, too, and I've fallen on my face a few times. Hard. Not pretty.

Without question the biggest problem for me with HSing was the one you ID'd in your first post: how do you HS more than one kid, give everyone what they need, and not go nuts, especially if you're an introvert who needs time alone!?

So maybe I'm IDing with your question more than I should...

At least you're a "mean mom" like me, so you don't think I'm a bad person for suggesting these things. That could be unpleasant.

I laugh when I hear about the stereotype of HSd kids as shrinking violets who won't leave mom's side. Not my kids! I'm encouraging independence at every opportunity, and manufacturing some opportunities to boot! But as you know, there's a long way between age 2 and age 4. My younger one was into everything, too--remind me to tell you sometime how he managed to pull fiberglass insulation out of the wall of a childproofed room!--and there's just not much you can do until they get older. I hear that!

I just wanted to suggest that even so, you need to make time for yourself. You have to be a priority.

Another thought: our YMCA has free babysitting with a family membership. There is a sliding fee scale, and even at full price, a family membership is something like $80 per month. With three kids at the going rate around here, you'd break even if you'd go for 6 or 7 hours a month, and you can use them 2 hours per day every day except Sunday. That's some 56 hours of child care for the cost of 7 hours. It's a steal! And you can use the gym and pool facilities or the sauna and hot tub while you're there if you want. Or read. Or listen to music. Or stare at the wall in peace and quiet! It might be worth looking into.

Just another thought...

My three kids are the same ages. I don't know if it would be any easier if they weren't gt. because i also expect them to do a lot for themselves other parents might not. chores, showers, reading to each other, etc.

but yes, it is very exhausting because you don't want to ignore the "good questions" but the GOOD QUESTIONS come every 60 seconds between them... and the projects they want to do but require some much pulling out... and on and on.

It's not you. They can suck the life out of you. And not accepting that it is ok to feel like - come on give me a break - is like not letting a first time mom know that every moment doesn't have to be cherished and it isn't easy as we who've done it make it look.

If you find a magic solution to make it easier... let us know.