Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Accomodations and peer preasure?

Does peer pressure keep your child from using their accommodations? We are just setting up the 504 for my DS (meeting this afternoon) and I realized that one of the reasons my son is dragging his feet about some of these accommodations are social. He is in High School and he has been working hard on having a social life. His peers and what they think are very important to him. (Much of the pressure to perform at this H.S. is comes from the other students.) We are in a high performing school and many of his friends are the top achievers. It's embarrassing to have to go to another room to take an exam, or miss lunch because you get "extra" time.

Anyone else in that situation?

Can you have your DS come to the meeting and help design accommodations that really work for him?

DS will be at the meeting. It was something that only really occurred to me this morning. My older DD had an IEP through H.S. and these types of issues never bothered her and I sometimes forget that she was unusual in her obliviousness. It's more common for students to want to 'fit in'.

I don't have any advice - but I do recall very clearly hating one of the accommodations I had in my IEPs from elementary through middle school - school district dropped it when the cost vs benefit was not worth it (the teachers kept accidentally destroying the system or forgetting it, and I had made it clear by middle school that I did not want it anymore), but in return, I agreed to other accommodations to make up for that including extra help in resource rooms as needed during scheduled periods.

I would agree with DeeDee on asking him to have some alternatives that the teachers may support. Like one example maybe - on test days, could he go in earlier to do the test that includes the extra time, and then do assignments while the class is taking their test in the school day or something like that? I had that for oral exams, where I met with the teacher outside of class time (before school, after school or during a shared free period) within the same day or next day (oddly, I don't recall what I did while the rest of the class did their oral exams but no one blinked or said anything that I noticed).

To answer your original question, yes. My child seems to value blending in more than personal successes at this time. He seems to be lonely and looking to fit in and tries to look like one of the popular kids rather than look out for his best interests (this includes turning down any differentiation offered by the school, refusing to participate in contests so that he would not lose time with his friends at school, refusing to change schools etc). He is young, so we explain the pros and cons of each action to him and let him figure out what is good for him.

In your child's case, I like the suggestions from notnafnaf about going in earlier for tests etc.

My son is the same. He and his friends are all the high achievers in a rigorous school. But he would rather get a B in reading and writing (which he's currently getting) than take the extra time he's allowed in his 504 for dyslexia and dysgraphia. Like your son, he would have to go to a different room to take a test if he wanted extra time. I'm thrilled with his Bs, because he's come so far with his dyslexia and dysgraphia, but he would likely get As if he took the extra time and carefully read and tried to write with a bit of sophistication. But he's not interested yet.

This is one of the things we will be talking about this afternoon. Partly this is about when the extra time is available. It looks like it's most likely to be after class rather than before it. (There is a study period after English class once a week when they have block.) Leaving the room would be for the accommodation that he do all in-class writing assignments on a computer. The way this school implements this is having the student do the assignment in the resource room.

The teachers have already said they won't allow him to take these assessments early because of cheating issues. He could start it 30 minutes before the rest of the class where he has not chance to tell anyone the writing prompts or test questions.

bluemagic, my ds is very aware of peers when he uses his accommodations - that's been one of the largest obstacles we've faced over the years in getting him to actually use them. For our ds the biggest issue is opening up his computer in class for writing - he has always felt like it puts a big "HELLO I"M DIFFERENT AND WIERD" sign on his nose (or something similar lol). It took almost a full year in elementary school for him to get up enough guts to open his laptop in class - and he was literally shaking on the day he actually did it.

Guess what happened? Nobody cared. Truly. A few other students took one look, said it was cool, and that was it. What we've found is that the *idea* of how the accommodations will be perceived by other students is much scarier than the reality, and not only for the laptop in the classroom.


I would argue this is *totally* not "least restrictive environment" and I would also argue that it is counter to what you are aiming to achieve - you not only want your ds to be able to show his full knowledge, but another piece of the overall goal of accommodations is for our children to become *independent* - going to another room to use a computer that doesn't move does not promote independence, and it is also going to interfere with classwork - I can guarantee that. No matter what your school staff says - I'll send you some examples if you need them! He needs a laptop or other portable computer that he can take to each class and use in the classroom - no matter where he is sitting.

I would really fight this accommodation set-up - it really *does* make your ds stand out. With a laptop or tablet he would be fully participating in class, and that's the goal.


I would think starting early just in general wouldn't work in a high school setting where kids change classes. I suppose my ds' school is lax/lame/whatever… but most of his teachers let him finish his in-class assignments/quizzes/etc *on his laptop* at home if he needs extra time, and he sends them in the next day. He's an honest kid, and he hasn't attempted to cheat when he's taken the extra time. On state testing, the students who have accommodations are usually all in a separate room (together), and taking extra time doesn't really stand out at all, unless a student has to miss their regular class to continue testing… but even that isn't all that glaringly obvious, the student simply misses class.

One note - I don't think a student should miss lunch to get their extra time in for test-taking - that seems counter-productive. Who can do their best (or even concentrate at all) when they are hungry? Making a student take a test during lunch is more like punishment than an accommodation.

polarbear

eta - bluemagic, I don't know if this applies to your ds or not, but the reason my ds equates using his accommodations with standing out as "different" is related to how he views having a disability - he sees that as being very "different" from his friends and peers. It's an odd catch-22 type situation - my ds is very comfortable with who he is and if you ask him, he would *not* want to start his life over and not have dysgraphia/etc - he feels that having the experience of living with an LD has made him who he is, and he likes who he is. Yet he still doesn't want other kids his age that he's hanging out with in school to realize he has a disability. Yet everyone of them knows he has an issue with handwriting. It's complicated and really a bit twisted, and we (and the teachers that care, and some of the teachers that don't care lol) invest a lot of time in helping him realize - letting other people know you're different is ok, everyone has "something" that is different about them (this used to bug me when his middle school teachers started emphasizing it - because I felt like they were minimizing the impact of his own personal LDs… but over time I've realized - it's true. Everyone *does* have something that they have to deal with, work through, whatever. DS' challenge just happens to be dysgraphia, and that's who he is. The accommodations are a part of it, the things that help you be successful - not because they give you an edge, but because they give you a voice. It's a process - we've been working on it since ds was first diagnosed, and he still has a few classes this year that he's just completely stressed out about using his accommodations in so he hasn't done it yet. It's like my morning mantra everyday - repeated, in fact, just this morning "So DS, are you going to open up your laptop in ____ today?"

Thanks polarbear, just got back from the meeting. We decided not to put in the laptop/keyboard accommodation right now since DS is resisting it. Going to see if the extra time and other accommodations help first. 50% of the time the entire classroom goes to the computer lab. Handwriting isn't really the issue. It looks like the mostly likely extra time he will get will be after the class is over for English, once a week there is a block period and a study hall period right after class. Most writing assignments are given during these block periods and he can simply stay behind for the extra allotted time. We still need to negotiate with the social studies period, but the most likely is to turn the assignment in and come back to finish it during study hall time. He is only being given 20 minutes or at most 50% more time and sending it home is unlikely in most cases.

The other major accommodation they suggested was if/when he has a major meltdown (anxiety) during homework time he is to be allowed to turn assignments in late. (Obviously we are trying to prevent this happening.) Up to a week, but he needs to negotiate with the teacher & I need to confirm it was a meltdown not just poor planning. They really want him to own this issue and be responsible for talking with the teachers when this happens. Partly because re-framing the question & getting clarification of a prompt can make a huge difference.

The best thing from the meeting was a story that happened since the last meeting of how his Spanish teacher worked with the psychologist to accommodated him when he turned in a blank page on a in class writing assignment. They reworked the prompt, gave him another chance at the assignment and he did a great job. All it took was re-framing the assignment.

I have an acquaintance whose daughter's extra time accommodation is set up like this: She takes the test with everyone else, in class. If she feel that she needs her extra time, she writes, "need more time" on the top of the paper and turns it in with everyone else. If she wrote "need more time" on the paper, her teacher gives it to her special ed teacher, and she gets the test back during study hall to finish it. None of the other kids has to know or see anything.