Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Musical instruments at what age?

My DS7 started Suzuki piano at 5 - the year before kindergarten for him (he has a fall birthday). He's been taking a bit over 2 years. He was asking to do it. For him it has been WONDERFUL. And believe me, he has plenty of days he doesn't want to practice. I sit down with him and don't allow anyone or anything to interrupt us when we're practicing. I throw in lots of games and incentives, etc. Many performance opportunities (ie showing off) help a lot. And I think you just need to know if you start young, parents need to be very involved and consistent in my experience. And I like who talked about being "good enough". We take a day off every week and usually have 1 or 2 lighter practice days. Sometimes if we're preparing for something or his teacher is running a contest, we have some heavier weeks. Make sure you find a teacher who really "gets" and clicks with your child.

I also grew up taking Suzuki violin and my brother took Suzuki piano. I personally had a wonderful Suzuki experience. DD4 is likely to start Suzuki violin (hopefully) this fall. She seems more ready than DS did at 4 - not quite as squirrelly and she's asking to start now as well. We have a waiting list where we take lessons - it's a very popular program.

I also highly recommend reading Nutured by Love.

Good luck!

I only played xylophone :-) as a child and from very early on felt that the lack of ability to play a musical instrument (in my case I was thinking piano)was somehow making me less of a full person, if you get what I mean.
DS started taking Suzuki violin at 3.5 at his own insistance (long story). I was taking lessons with him an practiced with him daily. DD was dragging my big, full size violin and constantly taking it out of tune, so she got her own little violin for her second birthday and I started playing with her at home (basically open strings, when older brother was practicing) and she also started formal lessons around 3.5 years of age.
It is a huge time commitement on the parent side, HUGE, but practice is quite easy and short when kids are little. It is more of a "play" for them. And rewards are cheap when your kids are young. My kids never had any "major" problemswith practice, that is refusing it, till DS hit middle school, but the attitide at the house is that he has invested so much time in this already and he is so good, that it would be very foolish and unwise to quit. See, problems generally start when thir lives become more busy and they become more profficient on their instruments and therefore have to practice more/longer. DS13 and DD11 practice 70 minutes every day at this point during school year. At summer it is different, for example, DS does not practice at all for a month due to other commitements and DD practices 2 to 3 hours each day.
I do not think that you can overschedule your child with an instrument at the age of 4. You will have to make choices, but the time commitement for the next few years will be minimal.
Both my kids also play non suzuki piano, started at 8 and 6 respectively.

I took DD before she was 3.5 to get evaluated to start violin, since she kept talking about it. This was the Russian method, because Suzuki wanted one of us to take the lessons with her at 3.

The Russian method does not start them that early, but they thought she could, but they would start with piano, twice a week lessons. Practice was expected to be 10-15 minutes per day. We thought it was a lot for her schedule and we just opted for a Dalcroze music class and enrolled her in group piano this fall.

She does a long day at Montessori, ballet and gymnastics, so she is pretty active. So it depends on your child. I am thinking of sending her to the Special Music School instead of the gifted school for grades K-6 because I think it would suit her.

I had also started with Music Together at 5 months and although she loves music, she adores ballet and takes class with kids at least a year older. So sometimes it is hard to make choices on how your child should spend their free time.

Ren

DS5 is learning the electric guitar. Started about 6 months ago. 1/2hr a week leson with 15 min a day practice 5 days a week. We have to push sometimes for the practice. Durring thesummer he is taking a break. If he still likes to play we will start up again.
DW would love him to play the piano, he's not interested. Older DS15 plays the guitar so he wants to be like big brother.

I'm going to go back to this thought. We did music because it was something my husband and i both grew up with. it "fit" our family. i wouldn't have done it just for the theoretical values or discipline. especially because before 6-ish (at least for gt kids otherwise maybe older) it really is a responsibility on the parent.

for those reading along with interest - you typically rent violins for little kids so you are buying every time their arms grow and you aren't making a huge commitment before you know if it will work out. susuki that's been referenced means the goal is to teach by ear not sheet music reading. and yes, typically children start with a pretend instrument until they learn all the piece, a bow hold, and clap out some songs before being 'awarded' a real violin.

And I will also say, DS7 pushing 8 (and is most likely in the HG+ range) still needs a lot of guidance and help in his practice. He loves the result of his practice, but would not do it without some guidance. Many suzuki teachers really want parents to be involved and practicing with their kids until 11-13. I really treat the music thing as a non-negotiable. I do try to make it as fun as possible, but it's not really an option for him at our house. In particular because it is the only thing that has consistently challenged him for the past 2+ years.

Thanks to everyone for a really interesting discussion. I'm following along closely, and am hearing some very helpful perspectives. It seems clear that lots of the parents who have encouraged their children to start playing an instrument early are themselves musicians or people who played instruments from a young age. My DW and I fit that category too, and perhaps it's not surprising that people who value something hope their children will value it too. But another consistent refrain seems to be that music is an area where children can learn how important it is to work hard. People say that about athletics too, sometimes. With kids for whom accomplishment at school comes easy, this can be a valuable lesson.

I wonder if anyone has any suggestions in general about how to teach the value of working hard at something. I noticed lately with DS that he loves playing math games that are easy for him, but if he has to think then he switches off. It's as if he's scared to think. I don't believe that he's scared to fail, since that doesn't seem to be a general trait of his. He just seems unhappy that the answer hasn't immediately popped into his head, and so he starts trying anything that occurs to him. The problem doesn't require much thinking, and it's thinking he knows how to do, but somehow he'll do anything to avoid it. I suppose the equivalent in music is playing the pieces you already know well instead of the pieces that need work. Any tricks for encouraging the latter?

BB

I read somewhere that Steve Jobs was an underachiever until his dad used money as an "incentive" for good grades. His grades improved drastically and then he was skipped.
All kids have different motivations and when a kid is smart enough to talk their way out of ever doing anything the least bit difficult I think it's appropriate to find alternative "inspiration". My kids never have nor will accept "because I told you." So, I devised an incentive program.
Basically, I bought a bunch of junk they wanted really bad. Mostly stuff I would never agree to buy them simply because it is junk! I stuffed it in a bag and made a chart for each of them. I told them when the chart is full of stickers, they can pick out whatever they want. This way, I never "make" them do anything. They are in total control of completing the tasks, totally on their own time table. They love this. The beauty of it is that I decide what warrants a sticker. I've taken things that aren't there fav's but I think are challenging and made them the tasks they need to complete in order to get the stars. So they think they are in control, but really I am! These tasks aren't all academic either. Straightening up their room to my specifications is EXTREMELY challenging for them! Everyone is happy. I get to see them stretch themselves and work outside their comfort zone. There is no arguing or pushing involved because they decide when they do the tasks and choose the tasks with the caveat each task can only be completed once per day.
And they get a "feel good" moment for doing something they might avoid simply because it is a little difficult. I know, it's somewhat Pavlov's dog, but aren't we all that way. My husband says he does a great job at work because he takes pride in his efforts and that should be the internal motiviation we should be looking for in them. I asked him if he would still work his butt off if they stopped paying him. And come on, they're 5 and 8. Webkinz are THEIR currency!

Great idea, Neato. I know all too well what BaseballDad is describing. Thanks.

DD9 asked to play the flute since age 5. I offered piano (my instrument) or violin, but she had no interest. I called a music school when she was 6 and they said to wait until 7. When she turned 7 we began flute lessons once a week and discovered that she could read music. She like playing but isn't always disciplined to practice as recommended. Her teacher is easy going and we advance at a comfortable pace, faster or slower depending on other commitments.

I grew up in a musical family and starting an instrument/age depends on a lot of factors. The instrument for one, some can be mastered earlier than others. Flute takes great coordination of breathing and finger dexterity. It can be frustrating to try to make a sound for weeks and then figuring out fingering for each note vs. instant sound of pressing a piano key.

Since the OPs DS is 4, I would suggest a group music lesson at first to see interest. Also, allow your child to try different instruments and see what interests him. Suzuki is a group lesson but in its true form it is a big commitment and not a great fit for everyone. Our DS3.5 is asking for a violin, but I wouldn't think Suzuki would be right for him. Plus I can't imagine sitting in a room full of beginners listening to all that screeching, LOL!!!