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Joined: Apr 2013
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Our school district (or possibly our state) is also very strict about total # of absences and calling CPS.
FWIW, the principal's reason is sounding a lot like what happened with friends or our family who were part-time homeschooling in elementary - the school really didn't *want* them part-time homeschooling, and eventually pressured them into having to either enroll full-time or withdraw and homeschool full-time. When the school was putting pressure on the family to make their decision, they used reasons such as this - not being available to fully participate socially (from the school's point of view). Perhaps the principal's only concern is floodgates opening with lots of other parents opting their kids out of field trips, but I'm wary that there might be something more behind it in terms of finding excuses for why part-time homeschooling doesn't work. If you're *not* getting that vibe and the school is completely behind your decision and happy with it, then totally ignore this reply!
Best wishes,
polarbear Oh sure, the school has never really liked that we are doing the partial homeschooling. But after speaking with other parents, I am hearing that this field trip issue is universal. It is apparently standard operating procedure for the school to basically harass any family who declares that their child will not be attending a field trip.
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Somewhereonearth, as an aside, I think our husbands would get along. DH, a lawyer, goes from polite and terse to an ungodly firestorm of argument-decimating verbal ripostes in the blink of an eye. People think I'm the bad cop until they meet his game face. He leaves no survivors. Sounds like they would be best buddies. Of course, my DH being so terse, wouldn't have too much to say to your husband, or to anyone else. They could read the newspaper in a parallel, amicable silence. I think that's my husband's dream friendship. Double points if his favourite columnist were his silent friend, haha!
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Somewhereonearth, as an aside, I think our husbands would get along. DH, a lawyer, goes from polite and terse to an ungodly firestorm of argument-decimating verbal ripostes in the blink of an eye. People think I'm the bad cop until they meet his game face. He leaves no survivors. Sounds like they would be best buddies. Of course, my DH being so terse, wouldn't have too much to say to your husband, or to anyone else. I can fill in for terse. My verbosity makes up for it, but I do know how to be very very quiet and nice-seeming until I'm crossed. I regularly give school staffers and administrators a sense of cognitive dissonance sufficient to give them mental whiplash, actually. Are you good cop? Or bad cop? they wonder... YES. I am. 
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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[Yesterday] Maybe if they make it optional for anyone, then they have to make it optional for everyone, and they don't want to do that for some reason. [Today] When I explained that he was ok with all of that and so were we, we got to the root of it: "If you refuse to go on the trip, other parents will think it's ok to do the same. We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. We are experienced professionals. We know what are great opportunities for children." Yay! I win! Where's my prize? 22B, yes you win a prize too! I was searching back in the posts because I didn't remember who had made your comment. Here's a whole PITCHER of Kool-aid. 
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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[Yesterday] Maybe if they make it optional for anyone, then they have to make it optional for everyone, and they don't want to do that for some reason. [Today] When I explained that he was ok with all of that and so were we, we got to the root of it: "If you refuse to go on the trip, other parents will think it's ok to do the same. We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. We are experienced professionals. We know what are great opportunities for children." Yay! I win! Where's my prize? 22B, yes you win a prize too! I was searching back in the posts because I didn't remember who had made your comment. Here's a whole PITCHER of Kool-aid. You have me laughing!
What is to give light must endure burning.
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[Yesterday] Maybe if they make it optional for anyone, then they have to make it optional for everyone, and they don't want to do that for some reason. [Today] When I explained that he was ok with all of that and so were we, we got to the root of it: "If you refuse to go on the trip, other parents will think it's ok to do the same. We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. We are experienced professionals. We know what are great opportunities for children." Yay! I win! Where's my prize? 22B, yes you win a prize too! I was searching back in the posts because I didn't remember who had made your comment. Here's a whole PITCHER of Kool-aid. Oh HK, how could have missed you?! You definitely get a prize too! And you also get a prize for being one of the first people on the site - maybe THE first person - to help me out when I first arrived here. As soon as I see your avatar, I think, "this will be a wise, helpful and peaceful response. I better read it!" Love to you all here! I honestly could not make it through this journey without you. Thanks so much!
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I only would have asked my kids what they wanted to do if I thought the field trip was a dumb waste of time and didnt feel like paying for it, but if they wanted to go to spend time with friends outside the classroom, I would let them go. If I thought the field trip was inappropriate or I was uncomfortable with it, then the only discussion would be me explaining why I thought so, to the level that it made sense to explain it.
I would communicate that I am keeping the child home, just in case that is the reason for their inordinate interest.
If their interest is something else, then I would dig in my heels more. I would have signed the permission slip but stayed home only after a day or two of them asking. After that, its clear that you are hostile to the idea and you will have to fight the good fight now or later. It may as well be now.
Last edited by Chana; 06/12/14 06:55 AM.
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We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. Hello, cognitive dissonance. It's like they don't know what a permission slip does.
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Right. That's not Kool-aid. It's-- medicinal.
Like magic, almost. No more cognitive dissonance!
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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A possible explanation for much weirdness by school personnel is that they have school improvement or school wide professional development goals which involve meeting some arbitrary benchmark for attendance, on-time attendance, parent participation, communicating, outreach to parents, school-community partnerships, etc. It's the end if the school year, and they're running out of time to meet their goals, which might be tied to merit pay for the principal or teachers union members, avoiding takeover by the state, etc. Yeah. Personally, I kinda still think it's something like this. They don't want to tell you, but some weird numbers game. Or, control freak city. I have a theory that charter school brass tend to be like this. Micromanaging, control, control. They were at the charter we had DD at.
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