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Joined: May 2012
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I never heard that sit wait and listen before but maybe that's me. I guess I must be the only one that lives in an area where schools are good. My comment really had nothing to do with schools. No your comment had nothing to do with schools. Rather, your comment was a snide remark on the OP's parenting and it implied that any decent sane parent would never take their 7 year old's feelings on the issue into consideration (or any issue apparently!) Yeah, I noticed.  As you can see, many of us do not share this philosophy and we have pretty great kids so... I guess we agree to disagree on the issue and move on as, clearly , the OP is standing by her decision to honor her child's feelings on the matter whether you think it is purely a "parental" decision or not. And, quite honestly, in life, a lot of times you do get what you want - I know I do ! I guess I never learned that lesson of 'you just gotta do what your told whether you like it or not 'cause that is life!' So glad for that!
Last edited by Irena; 06/11/14 02:17 PM.
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I still can't figure any of this out. But now I am compelled to get to the bottom of it! This school often operates in a bizarre way. So, this weird situation is not so weird for them. The principal kind of freaked DS out though. She really grilled him and he didn't understand what the issue was. How do you usually deal with their weirdness? Or have they risen to a whole new level of weirdness? The weirdness is getting weirder. As of the past 3-4 months I do very well with their weirdness. I'm cordial and have learned to say, "No thank you. Let's just agree to disagree." And then just move on.
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The staff is being flat-out creepy. I'd make sure they know that. The letter is being drafted. It has been and will be communicated again.
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Joined: Nov 2012
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I never heard that sit wait and listen before but maybe that's me. I guess I must be the only one that lives in an area where schools are good. My comment really had nothing to do with schools. No your comment had nothing to do with schools. Rather, your comment was a snide remark on the OP's parenting and it implied that any decent sane parent would never take their 7 year old's feelings on the issue into consideration (or any issue apparently!) Yeah, I noticed. As you can see, many of us do not share this philosophy and we have pretty great kids so... I guess we agree to disagree on the issue and move on as, clearly , the OP is standing by her decision to honor her child's feelings on the matter whether you think it is purely a "parental" decision or not. And, quite honestly, in life, a lot of times you do get what you want - I know I do ! I guess I never learned that lesson of 'you just gotta do what your told whether you like it or not 'cause that is life!' So glad for that! Well said, Irena.
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Joined: May 2012
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Thanks Aquinas! Actually, there is a great podcast on this issue and how bad it is and how it results in gifted underachievement. It's here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/colorado-gifted/id650064362?mt=2Well worth the listen - he talks about a few things but he does talk about giving these kids some control in their education and not taking control "away in a purposeless way" form these kids. It's a great podcast!
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Joined: Apr 2013
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While I agree with most everyone said above about the school I do have one question. Why is it a 7 year olds decision if he doesn't wants to go on a field trip? Why should I pay for something that my son doesn't want to do? Because it's about power! You must exert your power regardless of how meaningless! You must take choice and control away from your kid in any way possible! How else will he learn to blindly obey no matter what!?!? (in case it's not obvious, completely joking and being sarcastic here) Personally, kids need a sense of control and of choice - I give it when I can (obviously within reason) I try not to take away control in a purposeless way because, really, the kid in such a situation will just tune out anyway. That is just my personal parenting philosophy and that's why my 7 year old (now 8) usually got a choice on field trips... it works really well for us. It seems especially important for my gifted kiddo. And we have a winner! Irena you win the prize for guessing what the issue is. (And really, if I had a way to give you a prize, I would.) It is a big power/control trip. DH and I were at an event at school with other little ones in tow. Principal Cuddly Crocodile approached me because she was "very concerned" that DS7 is not going on the field trip. I thanked her for her thorough follow thru and her attention to this. But I simply repeated the reasons that DS has already told her about not wanting to go on the trip. I then asked her, what's all the kerfuffle about? Are they going to the Jim Jones Nature Center? (Blank stare.) She cited several reasons why children "must" go on field trips: wonderful educational opportunities, a child could miss out on thrilling and educational discussions regarding the trip in the days following, a child will miss out on irreplaceable social exchanges that can only occur on a long field trip bus ride. When I explained that he was ok with all of that and so were we, we got to the root of it: "If you refuse to go on the trip, other parents will think it's ok to do the same. We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. We are experienced professionals. We know what are great opportunities for children." Then the principal approached DH (Mr. Terse - he doesn't use any more words than he ever has to use. He is linguistically efficient.) He just stated, "I find you and your staff to be offensive. I will not discuss the matter any further. Thank you." So, once DH and I were done playing good cop/bad cop we mingled with other families at this event (while our toddlers are bouncing around all over the place). Turns out this is business as usual for the principal and office staff regarding field trips. Eh - I should have known. The control and not wanting to set a precedent is the same excuse we got for not accelerating and not homeschooling.
Last edited by somewhereonearth; 06/11/14 02:40 PM.
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I never heard that sit wait and listen before but maybe that's me. I guess I must be the only one that lives in an area where schools are good. My comment really had nothing to do with schools. No your comment had nothing to do with schools. Rather, your comment was a snide remark on the OP's parenting and it implied that any decent sane parent would never take their 7 year old's feelings on the issue into consideration (or any issue apparently!) Yeah, I noticed. As you can see, many of us do not share this philosophy and we have pretty great kids so... I guess we agree to disagree on the issue and move on as, clearly , the OP is standing by her decision to honor her child's feelings on the matter whether you think it is purely a "parental" decision or not. And, quite honestly, in life, a lot of times you do get what you want - I know I do ! I guess I never learned that lesson of 'you just gotta do what your told whether you like it or not 'cause that is life!' So glad for that! I think nicoledad is making a legitimate general point about the parental role in decision making, it's just that it's a non-issue in this case, as parent and child are in total agreement about this particular situation. Here's an example where there'd be a real issue. If my child thought a teacher was assigning pointless busywork, then I'd expect my child to let me know. I would decide if I agreed. If so I would advocate with them to the teacher to be excused from the pointless busywork. If I disagreed, I would expect them to do the work. I would not say they should just unilaterally refuse to do it.
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Joined: Apr 2010
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Somewhere, sheesh.
Is this a private school or public? This seems unusual if it's a public, but some private schools do assume they can control their "culture" and "product" to a pretty great extent.
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[Yesterday] Maybe if they make it optional for anyone, then they have to make it optional for everyone, and they don't want to do that for some reason. [Today] When I explained that he was ok with all of that and so were we, we got to the root of it: "If you refuse to go on the trip, other parents will think it's ok to do the same. We don't want you to set a precedent that will cause other parents to think that they can pick and choose the educational opportunities that the school offers. We are experienced professionals. We know what are great opportunities for children." Yay! I win! Where's my prize?
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If this school is so bad, why send him their period?
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