Today our 504 meeting ended with the accommodations of headphones as needed, extra testing time if needed, chill out breaks, clear instruction and social stories for next year.
That all sounds useful.
Only you can tell whether you want to press for direct instruction in social skills to be delivered by the school. In your shoes, I would absolutely consider pushing for it.
The teacher says our ds is last to hang up his coat etc.
Some kids do well with a small checklist of "to-dos" when entering/leaving the classroom.
A friend in the district encouraged me to keep an open mind. That the teachers want to help but are overwhelmed with huge class sizes.
Or they do not completely understand the nature of the challenges your DS faces.
I often feel like our ds has no chance at long term happy social relationships. I actually feel since we started kindergarten the social skills have regressed.
Or other kids matured around him. We had this with DS11, and it was really painful to watch. He'd make great developmental leaps, and yet the other kids would leap still further.
Even as a parent his disposition and anger/frustration at times can be challenging. His impatience for want to interupt and not wait his turn. And his moods can change so rapidly.
I recall your DS doesn't have an ASD diagnosis, but this is all very reminiscent of my DS11, who does.
There are ways of working on building these skills. You may want to read up on ABA therapy and see if it seems appropriate. Many of the principles can be implemented at home by parents, though we found it very useful to have a therapist (BCBA) directing our program.
And instead of the teachers trying to help mend the poor social interactions and stepping in to advise he is encouraged to stay away from certain groups, making him further segregated and giving him less practice on working through the issues.
That's a problem. I'd be inclined to have the school write a behavior plan (to attach to the 504) that specifies (a) what school staff are required to do to prep DS in advance for challenging situations and (b) how they are to debrief him if he messes up. He needs to be told in the immediate aftermath what he did wrong and given the words to use that will work next time, as well as how to make amends and apologize properly. These skills are teachable and very important.
They could also be working with scripts to build up a repertoire of acceptable things to say or do when he's frustrated.
I know she means well, and that the other kids think our ds is mean.
One reason I would want school to be handling this better is that kids can learn to understand your DS's social needs, because they will model on the teachers-- but if the teachers just want him away from everyone, the students will want that too. I find that unacceptable.
HTH, hang in there,
DeeDee
