Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How and when to advocate at school?

Okay, I understand better now. Thanks for clarifying. This isn't an easy journey to make, especially because it's hard to understand the school system before you've dealt with it as an adult.

As for denial, I prefer the concept of underestimation to denial. Denial implies that there's an understanding that's being pushed away, whereas underestimation implies a misunderstanding.

The thing is, I'm not sure that all HG+ kids fit the gifted-kids-pull-you profile, so your child may not necessarily clamor for more math or more whatever. But this doesn't mean that they don't need the harder work. It just makes it harder to identify their needs.


It depends. If the teacher understands mathematics and giftedness, teaching HG+ kids is probably easier most of the time, because the pupil gets it so much more quickly. My DD often gets the idea halfway through my explanation and can then do a problem without more help from me. I get what's going on, and see it as a great thing. But someone who doesn't grok giftedness may not like this kind of reaction, fearing that the student is being impatient and doesn't actually get it.

My experience (while it may be different than others) is that the teacher is the most important thing. We have had an amazing year (kindergarten) and a so so year (first), and the experience that we have had seems to vary more based on the teacher than any other factor. See if you can meet with the teachers and get an idea of how flexible they are. Also remember that as long as he continues to do the things that he loves that build spatial skills (Legos, maps, puzzles, sports) these skills are not going to go away. So regardless of whether he learns algebra early or not (as long as he is happy at school) it is probably going to make zero difference in the long run.

Thanks for clarifying, MoN. I was curious because your post was written re:indigo and because I did not see any reference to "honesty" or "blending in" up-thread.

Val, thank you for putting it into perspective that not all HG+ kids fit the gifted-kids-pull-you profile. Our son is very easy going on all fronts; he works with whatever material is available to him, which is why I am worried that he might not show his real abilities unless challenged. We do not want to be in denial, which is why we started this journey, but we might be underestimating his abilities today due to lack of formal instruction. We definitely don't want to have him just do busy work while everyone else is learning.

Hi Peanutsmom! Our sons (mine is 4.5) sound somewhat similar. Ours also hit the ceiling on VSI (and a few other subtests), on the WPPSI IV (and was probably nowhere near his limits - he thought the blocks section was "easy") - and has always been unusual. Doing 60-100 piece puzzles around his 2nd birthday. And like your kid, he now loves Legos; we just introduced him to Lego at Christmas, and he has not yet reached the limits of his ability (he finds sets for 7-12 year olds easy...). We also share your schooling worries. And I am not sure that math tutoring, say, is the way to go for our son. He is already ahead there, as well as in reading (in 2 languages), with very limited "instruction". I am thinking more along the lines of complementing what is going to be taught at school, via Lego, construction, puzzles, etc., to minimize the discrepancy with school. But not sure if this is the right approach. He is such a quick learner...Maybe we can exchange ideas as we travel along this journey.
Oh, wanted to add, our son is also totally normal socially, very pleasant, and tends to hide his true ability when not challenged - he totally blends in.

Rac, thanks for sharing your story

We are not in the highly gifted all around (I think), we hit the ceiling only on VSI, though he is gifted overall. But on VSI he is also very creative.. He can work with any materials today, creating various contraptions, that actually works. It is also totally his own initiative. I don't have that level of imagination.

We also just found out from pediatrician that his vision is not 20/20. The HG school director actually told us her suspicion about his vision earlier because of some scores discrepancies, and to get it checked.. But pediatrician said to wait because it might self correct at some point, as he is still very young. We both wear glasses, and I started wearing glasses very young. In second grade I couldn't see letters on the blackboard even when I sat on the first row, and I was stupid enough to not tell my parents for a while (afraid of bullying). I really hope it won't be as bad for him, or that it will self correct (some).

May I suggest taking him to an eye doctor who specializes in young children? Yes, your son's eyes might correct at some point, however, he will be hampered/uncomfortable now if they are anything significantly different than 20/20. We found out our DS was quite farsighted when he was about four years old. However, that eye doctor was not as good as the one in the area we moved to two years later, who did some tests and found out that the glasses he had were barely helping and that he had a severe lazy eye issue (corrected with a few months of patching). Since then, the eyes have strengthened, but DS is very much reliant on his glasses, which tells us that he needs them.

Sorry to toss this at you too, but it is something that is more critical than most people realize. DS has been much more comfortable with schoolwork since he got the correct correction. Also, there has been no negative response from peers to his glasses. In fact, they are much more common on kids around here than I recall being the case when I was young.

Could I second the suggestion to take him to an eye doctor? Either an Ophthalmologist or Optometrist is fine, but a pediatric one.

Our Pediatrician told us to hold off when DS6 was 3, because "it doesn't matter until they're reading," but he ended up having major astigmatism and the Ophthalmologist we went to said that really the earlier the better because the brain is constantly developing the vision system and correcting vision will help to make sure it develops normally, at least from that point.

Don't want to scare you, but it really is important, and also don't want to contradict a Pediatrician, but I've never heard of vision self-correcting.

Both of my kiddos wear glasses and love them.

I agree with the suggestion to see a pediatric eye doctor. My DS6 has been wearing glasses since he was 3, and he just had a checkup last week. The eye doctor specifically made a comment that because we caught his vision issues early, his vision is better now than it would have been had we waited to put him in glasses. His brain was at a developmental stage where it could adapt and rewire itself based on the correction from the glasses.

I would at least take him to an eye dr for a check - the fact that the HG director who is (I would expect, since she made the comment) familiar with the individual tests used said that she suspected vision issues - indicates that vision challenges might have impacted your ds' test scores. If they did - having na understanding of that might help you have a better understanding of the extent of his giftedness. The other thing is - if he has vision issues, it may be impacting his ability to learn to read etc at the rate he's able to.

Maybe it will eventually self-correct, but why not go ahead and give him glasses now if he needs them? Our ds, who's far-sightedness did self-correct, was still given a prescription for lenses.

Best wishes,

polarbear