Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How and when to advocate at school?

Given you are where you are, advocate as soon as evident for no below level math homework and for free reading of material at his level. Those seem to be the two most consistently painful points. Along with "more of the same" as supposed enrichment. Also the key is getting a good teacher mix, move quickly if his teacher seems to be a rigid authoritarian.

Some articles describe api as ranging from a low of 200 to a high of 1000 with a goal of 800 or more. Because you state the score as 7, are you speaking of this measure or another, such as those offered on greatschools.org?

A school which opened recently, survived rumors of closing, now has a waitlist, and is exhibiting a healthy relationship in offering the flexibility to welcome you at a later date if you turn them down now... is probably a good school. Schools which understand and accommodate HG+ kids are rare and because HG+ is a small population, these schools may be expected to be smaller. Some might suggest looking at the academics, support/challenge, and potential intellectual peers/friendships this school may offer your kiddo, and also looking for kindred spirits among parents.

Some may say it is not healthy to go into a situation whose success is based upon hiding who one is. Especially true for a child. Some may say "no vertical differentiation" means capped learning. Being a "well-respected" and "darling" school may indicate it is for students with more frequently occurring intellectual profiles. Serving mainstream kids seems consistent with "no vertical differentiation"... which is all but saying, "no advocacy".

For clarity, you may wish to jot on paper what your family philosophy of education is, alongside the educational philosophy of each of the above schools.

1. You may wish to get the book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children.
2. You may wish to read posts about kids who "hide", underachieve, or become frustrated and act out.
3. You may also wish to read posts about questions to ask in choosing a school?
4. If your high IQ kiddo is not already performing several years ahead in something, based on his own volition and exploration to satisfy his curiosity, some may question whether the scores are GAI or FSIQ... has he been checked for possible learning disability?

Excellent post, MON. Peanutsmom, I hope you'll take MON's post to heart because her logic is on point.

Might this refer to this ?

Might this refer to this ?

There is a difference between the art of blending in, and the shame of hiding who one is; Hiding and blending in are two different things.

Part of getting along with others involves accepting one's self, including differences, so that one can genuinely accept others, including those things each individual may enjoy which they do not have in common. The need to hide who one is, is not conducive to a child learning to accept one's self... or others.

This. The thing about HG kiddos is that they tend to learn faster than the general population, so you really need to focus on finding the right environment for just a year or two at a time. Would it be nice to be able to plan out further, sure. And you should think long term, just to take it into consideration because changing things up can be a pain. But, truthfully, we have never found a situation that works well for more than a couple of years. We have had times when we have settled for not ideal.

With this in mind, I would tend to go with the HG but unstable school, even if it is open for just a couple of years. Those two years of being nurtured would be well worth the hassle of changing schools, I would think, when compared with two years of your child hiding his abilities or not learning how to learn in a school environment or possible learning to dislike school. I would, personally, think seriously about taking a chance with the HG school.

One of the private schools I was considering for DD last year is closing at the end of this school year so I can relate to your concern about school closure because where we live, we might not be able to transfer to another good private school all that easily.

However, I'd be very hesitant to send any children with unusual abilities to a school that has an anti-acceleration policy. One thing for certain is that gifted children's needs change very quickly. Ideally, you'd want a school that is willing to be flexible to meet your child's needs.

It sounds like you live in a large city with many educational options. Have you looked into less mainstream options? Are there any charter Montessori schools or other child-centered alternatives?

I tend to agree that if your child is HG plus more of the same May not cut it. That being said there is more to math than spatial abilities. From what I understand working memory is the most important factor through algebra and then it is a combination of spatial skills and executive functioning (inhibition, mental flexibility etc). I guess my point is I would be cautious about saying A always equals B. Children are generally much more complicated than that. If the school is not willing to be flexible about curriculum and will not consider grade acceleration or at least subject acceleration I would find a school that is. Best of luck with your decision:)!

My son went to a wonderful GT school for two years, and then it was changed to a boarding school for overseas students wanting to learn English (new owner). Yes, it was awful that it changed and that we lost such a wonderful school. But even so, I wouldn't change what he got out of those two years. He developed his mind, was exposed to new ideas that most other schools don't bring up, made friends, and learned a lot.

It's very difficult for parents of HG+ kids when their first child enters the school system. The vast majority of us simply don't know how bad American schools truly are in general, let alone how toxic they can be to gifted kids. I didn't, in spite of the fact that I had been reading about their problems for a couple of years. The thing is, the stuff that makes it into print only scratches the surface. One thing that parents of very young HG+ kids often don't know is how rare it is for a school to understand even a portion of the needs of a HG+ student.

Peanutsmom, all I know about these two schools is what you've written. TBH, I'm not sure why you started this thread if you'd already made a decision. I'm also not sure about your concern that the GT school may go under if they have a waiting list. Is there another serious problem there beyond enrollment?

The poor woman has probably gone in search of valium. I think she has already turned the HG school down.

If you are still there don't panic. He maylike the social aspects of K enough to get through the year. Heaps of people home school with babies and/or toddlers in the mix. A littlekid only needs a couple ofhours academics a day then lots of opportunities for free play and exploration. Just don't plan on getting full time work unless you have a husband on the same page as you.

Thanks again everyone! I posted this thread because we are still indecisive in a way. In all the schools (including this GT school), differentiation starts at the first grade. So we are ok for a year at least. So my thinking is we will go to this non-GT school for the year, homeschool him math to see where his abilities are and how fast he learns, and if it seems like he is really that much ahead of the peers at the non GT school, and the school won't accommodate, we will talk about transferring to the GT school. Meanwhile by identifying the trouble early (if it exists) then we can have earlier talk to this school than otherwise. I am thinking of starting the homeschooling this summer.

psychland, his working memory is also very good, as well as his picture memory. But I don't know how to judge his executive functions, but I am guessing that the current pre-K program is great at developing that.

We have been procrastinating because, we don't know how well the test scores are in predicting his Math needs. Right now he is not rough/demanding with his pre-K teachers, academic wise, so we are not sure he will be acting as a HG kid in math later... Or maybe I am in denial here? OTOH the pre-K is play based and very unstructured, so the kids do whatever they want to do within a theme defined by the teachers.

I am going to meet a math teacher/tutor next weekend in order to learn how to teach math; she is not willing to take GT kids (she said it is harder to teach them, is it?) but is willing to jumpstart me. Now I am starting to feel it that most people are not willing to work with HG kids. To say that I am nervous might be an understatement.