Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Montessori PT Conference

DS3 has been attending a local Montessori school for a little over a month. He has adjusted very well and seems to like the environment. He is a happy, introverted three year old, who happens to be a precocious reader (at least mid-1st grade level with pretty good comprehension) and is obsessed with numbers.

I have requested a parent-teacher conference to ask more questions about his typical day. I'm wondering how he's doing socially, what works he's gravitating toward, etc. I am a little concerned that he doesn't seem to be getting introduced to new works very often. Of course I'm hearing this from a 3 year old, but when I ask him, "Did you do any new works today?" his response has been "no" for the last couple of weeks. Sometimes he'll tell me about a work he wanted to do (e.g., the pink tower), but will say that he couldn't because he has not had that lesson yet.

He has been introduced to 5 sandpaper letters, which he supposedly "mastered" 3 weeks ago. No more have been introduced. Although he's been able to ID all letters and their sounds for 2 years, I still see value in this because he is not writing yet. I'm just surprised that he isn't progressing a little faster.

I guess my questions would be this... How often are new lessons generally introduced in a primary classroom? Would it be out of line for me to request that he skip lessons - i.e., move onto sandpaper blends, which I think he might find more interesting, but would still get the benefit of letter formation? I know that there is a general lesson sequence, but you wouldn't start and entering 1st grader on 3 year old level works just for the sake of sequence, right?

I do believe in the Montessori method, and I don't want him to be pushed, but I do want him to have access to works that will interest him. His teacher seems to be loving, gentle, and experienced. I'm scared of offending her, or coming across as a tiger mom. Any advice?

My son was in Montessori for 2.5 years. I was really into it, very interested in their methodology and just thought it was all around fantastic. Until I realized that my son wasn't really being understood and introduced to the materials at a rapid enough rate. It was while he was in school that he was tested for giftedness (well, potentially other things but giftedness is what I suspected) and even after getting that "diagnosis" the teacher still wasn't changing up the work. A lot of the things, he'd "get" the first time and then he'd just have to keep repeating it for no reason that was particularly compelling. It was then that I realized how much money I'd paid for him to build block towers and count to ten.

If your child is already reading, I'd expect him to be doing only minimal work with the sandpaper letters (only enough to practice writing) and to be working with the moveable alphabet. He wouldn't even need a real lesson on the pink tower...it's just building a block tower.

How familiar are you with the progression of materials and lessons? Does the teacher know of his abilities? I'd go into it with an idea of where you think he should be, what his concentration level is like at home (the 3 year old year is traditionall meant to be about building concentration skills through practical life activities), and what you know him to be capable of. I trusted too much that the teacher already knew these things, but despite having years of experience, and my feeling that she was indeed a very good teacher for other students, she just wasn't getting him.

You could also mention that you're particularly concerned because you like the method, the teacher, and the school, but have read many stories of gifted children having an extremely poor experience when not being introduced to new material quickly enough (a search of this forum will show you many examples).

Good luck.

I do agree that having a teacher who "gets" your DC makes all the differences. DD is in her second week at her new school but her teacher has made many subtle accommodations for DD that tells me she understands where DD is developmentally and knows what to do with a child like her.

I'd be concerned if the teacher doesn't seem to understand how to meet the needs of accelerated learners. I don't know how to approach a teacher about it without coming across as that parent. I wish I did.

Thanks so much for your thoughts!

I'm unfortunately not very familiar with the lesson sequence, so I'll ask for clarification. I'll also ask when he might start working with the moveable letters. That will hopefully help the conference move in the right direction.

It's hard to say what she knows about his abilities. During the hour long family interview she brought a few simple activities to gauge his ability while we talked to the academic director. He finished them in 10 minutes. I honestly thought she had other works hiding somewhere, but she didn't. Based on her experience, she thought those things would occupy him for at least 45 minutes. When he was done, he picked up a Dr. Seuss book from the bookshelf and began reading it aloud while laughing. My husband was quick to point out that he had never seen the book before, so she at least knows he can read with some comprehension. But when I said that we feel his math abilities exceed his reading abilities, she seemed skeptical. She has commented on his intense focus, so she does recognize that. Maybe giving specific examples from our home life will help?

Embarrassingly, I'm a teacher and I still don't know how to do it!

My experience with Montessori was both good and bad. I was pretty clear about my DD's (then 3) level in most everything when we enrolled her in Primary. I found out later what I had said in my initial interview was not taken at face value. However I did find it helpful to observe the classroom and see what works seemed to be challenging. Also I asked a lot of questions about what DD was working on in language arts and what the teacher hoped would be gained from any particular lesson. For example, readers were coming home that were way below her reading level, but DD was excited about them because she was reading the "!" and doing it with correct intonation. Asking questions helped me understand what came next and what needed to be accomplished in order for a work to be considered mastered.

I didn't find specific examples of what home life was like were particularly helpful. Often they were brushed off so I stopped sharing.

FWIW we are no longer in a Montessori program. While I love the idea of Montessori, I found my particular school was not as flexible as I would have hoped. I also think LOG and personality play a huge role in the success, or failure, of the Montessori method in educating a child.

I've definitely been in your shoes. From the distance of 10 years (my DSs are in high school now), I can say that if I had to go back, I'd just worry less about what the teachers think--about being "that" parent. There is a difference between being the "tiger parent" (who asks, "What recognition can my child receive? What prizes? What honors? Why isn't he pitching/in the gifted program/first chair in the orchestra?") and the concerned parent (who asks, "How is my child doing academically and socially? Is the level of challenge appropriate? Is he making friends?").

When your kid is gifted, IMHO, you have to brace yourself for quite a lot of interaction with the schools. My boys have been to Montessori, to public school, to private school, and now are homeschooled. In every setting (except homeschool! :-)), I have spent large amounts of time talking to teachers and administrators. The best ones "get" one DS or the other and are kind and even delight in them. The worst ones are just clueless.

Thanks so much for sharing! It's really helped!

UPDATE:

The conference went really well. I think I'm in love with DS's teacher, she seems fabulous! She gave many specific examples of things he does in class, which showed me that she is coming to better understand his abilities. I was able to respond with examples from home that I thought showcased what he knows as well.

Here's what I thought helped the most:



* I took some time to learn more about the normal progression of Montessori lessons, which I feel helped because I understood more of her "jargon" (for lack of a better word) and asked more directed questions that extended the conversation.

* Before the conference, I came up with a few anecdotes that revealed his abilities in both math and reading. I made sure these stories showed problem-solving skills, not just rote memorization (e.g., independently counting by tens to determine a quantity, not just memorizing the sequence). Since I had these ready, I was able to work a few into the conversation naturally.

* I used some of the Montessori terminology in my phrasing.

She really seems to be a wonderful, compassionate teacher, and I feel lucky that we have her... especially since we don't really have any other options at this point. It's fortunate that our only option seems to be a really great one!