Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Need HELP - more IEP/Accommodations help/advice!

Hi All. So, the school, with whom I am having a ton of trouble specifically with paras and the implementation of DS's IEP, wants to put a one-on-one para on DS for reading, math and writing. This is in response to my complaints that the classroom paras keep saying derogatory/discriminatory things to DS when asked to provide him his scribing accommodations or while providing the accommodations. I am REALLY hesitant about this. The LAST thing my DS wants is a 'shadow' at school. He does not ever want to look like he needs a personal aid. I really do not understand why the teachers and paras that are already there can't just provide the accommodations without snarky remarks? He types much of his work. They added that this para will be to provide accommodations AND help DS pay attention (yes alarm bells went off that this them making this a behavior para rather than accommodation para, which maes me very nervous). Given the types of paras we have encountered at this school I am very nervous the para will also be nasty, patronizing, etc. I am a little afraid the situation that pemberley had where a para was put on her DD but the para didn't help, made things worse, etc. I suppose if this were done right, and respectfully and discreetly this could be good but I am nervous this school (the paras in particular) doesn't have the capacity to provide such a person.

Please help me with your thoughts and perspectives, advice.

And just to give you an idea of how untrustworthy this school can be - they actually had an IEP meeting without my husband and me and added this to the iep. My attorney said they should never have had an "iep" meeting without us.

I'm sorry I can't help, but man, it doesn't sound good, Irena. I'm so sorry that your ds has to deal with this kind of thoughtlessness, abuse, and incompetence from people he ought to be able to trust.

I was opposed at first to my DD having a personal para for the same reason, she certainly didn't need a shadow. I was assured she would not be escorted down the halls and the para would look like a class para but DD would be her primary responsibility. Other parents have told me this scenario worked out well for them. I guess it really depends on the players.

If they hire a para specifically for your DS s/he can and should be trained on his specific profile. Due to confidentiality concerns the school gave only very limited info about my DD to subs or other teachers who did not work with her regularly. We were told that a part time para could be hired specifically as a match for DD's needs. The first one they hired often didn't show up for work which created major issues since the teacher refused to modify or accommodate DD when the para was out. She was replaced by a fantastic woman who really got DD and was super supportive. She couldn't handle the hostile environment and also left. This was when they offered a full time para. Unfortunately as a full time positions it was opened as a transfer opportunity to anyone in the district - no ability to screen for a proper match. They ended up using several people from a temp agency with very mixed results.

I guess you have to decide on your primary goal here. A dedicated para will mean no more begging for scribing, will support his AT use and can be an extra set of eyes and ears for you if you can trust them enough. If handled properly there shouldn't be a stigma. No way to know in advance, though, if it will be handled properly.

In our case the district folks would all decide in advance and then recite from their script at our IEP meetings. This meant that even if we were there we would get blindsided and we or our advocate would have to think on the spot of the right questions to ask to try to figure out if we did or did not agree to some thing.

This shows that you have them flummoxed Irena. It may be that a para is the next step towards that OOD you were asking about recently. This may be their make it or break it attempt to show they can/can't meet his needs. It also makes their cost for in district vs out of district less lopsided. If you accept the para and your DS still has trouble accessing his education you may have a clear path to that LD school you recently mentioned.

Yes this is exactly how they described it would work. It sounds like it could be really good... if it's done properly. Thanks so much for weighing in, Pemberley, I really appreciate the insight!

Thanks KADmom.

No wisdom here, just lots of hugs and empathy. Your family has had a terrible run with this awful school administration. My heart goes out to you and your DS, Irena.

Thanks, Aquinas.

Oh and I am reading their draft iep and they added to his scribing accommodations: "OR have him type on computer" - previously it was just provide him scribe. I am fine with him typing WHEN THEY ACTUALLY TEACH HIM TO TYPE! I have been asking since last year for them to teach him typing. They want to be able to remove scribing for typing when he is not even close to being an efficient typist and they do not teach him it. I am going to have to formally add a typing goal myself, I guess. You'd think they;d come up with that... Thank God for Wrightslaw they have a good example of one. Are they morons? And they are so sneaky! They HATE giving him a scribe. Sorry about the vent but how can we "work as a team" when they pull this crap?!? Having meetings without us, removing accommodations without telling us or discussing it with us, not giving OT that will actually HELP him function. Unbelievable, really. Sorry for the vent I am just shocked over and over again ... Are they seriously that stupid? I just can not belive the stuff these people pull. Thank GOD I have some brain and the time and tenacity to deal with this but it is infuriating.