Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Again! This is why I dream of OOD!

While DS was reading this book to me http://www.amazon.com/Eli-The-Boy-Hated-Write/dp/0966135369 and during the course of him telling me how much he can relate to the main character, he tells me that while he was taking his math test today, he needed his scribing accommodation for an "explain your answer" type question. Mrs. Teacher instructed him to ask Mrs. Paraprofessional to scribe his answer to that question. When DS approached Mrs. Paraprofessional and requested that she provide him his scribing accommodation, she responded "Seriously, DS? You can't write this by yourself?" So, DS is now going to be shamed and discouraged from accessing his accommodations during tests? When will this stop? Granted DS said, it wasn't a long response. He wasn't sure how long his answer would be when he requested the accommodation and started thinking of how to answer. But, really, is this sort of disparagment necessary? Am I wrong here? I really get the feeling that people at the school do not like us. They are really annoyed my DS gets accommodations. I suppose they really think we're just milking the system or something along those lines.

I would be documenting this in an e-mail to teacher and principal, esp. important if you are seeking OOD in the future. I may have suggested this before but I would very strongly encourage you to get the book From Emotions to Advocacy. I can't remember the details of your situation, but that seems like a pretty blatant violation and one which if documented could certainly IMO help a judge to see things from your perspective.

Yes, I documented it tonight - email to entire IEP team including Spec Ed director (though I hear bad things about her, she's been okay to us so far).

I share your disappointment, and your son's discomfort when I read this.

Because we did not see the paraprofessional's face, or her body language, or hear the tone of her voice in speaking to your son, some may believe it fair and just to consider whether it is possible that the paraprofessional anticipated a task of two lines or less, and believed she was following the IEP to encourage, but not require, DS to write independently?

Parents want to be factual, accurate, and unemotional in documenting.

My son saw her face, her body language and her tone... it was annoyance and discouragement. Encourage would something like this, "how about we work on this together you write some and then I will write some ..." something like that. This is not uncommon, DS says she says it a lot. I volunteer and I know her standard "Seriously?!?" when she is annoyed. She was annoyed. Really tired of no one believing my son. He is not cognitively impaired. He's gifted. He is very very perceptive. He knows when he is being shamed. No wonder pedophiles in schools and elsewhere get away with what they do for so long. I can't even get people to believe my child when he says a teacher says discriminating remarks.

Yes, we feel and know your frustration. The average person and the people in the average range (say you call it 90% of the population) sincerely do not understand us.

We don't take it personal. We try to communicate within the system. That's what we can do. But, we always look forward to the future when we don't have to deal with it anymore. I was thrilled when college started.

In the meantime, we go out of our way to comprehend that average IQ people do not understand us. I pray for understanding, too. I try to put positive energy out.

When people are ignorant, sometimes they really just don't know any better or somehow don't have the ability to learn.

It's not you. Hang in there.

My apologies, my post was not about whether one ought to believe your son, it was about whether the contents of your post actually documented a breach of IEP.

In preparing unemotional documentation, it is important to describe what occurred. If facial expression, body language, and tone are a part of that, it may be important to document these elements in factual, descriptive, unemotional terms.

I think I (as a smart ass kid, not something your son has the inclination to do)...would have to start walking over to the para and say loudly to the whole class....I am about ready to ask the para for something that I am legally entitled to and it is a wonderful opportunity for a cooperative learning group...can I have three students who would like to accompany me and be a witness to her response....someone who writes fast will record her answer, someone who understands tone of voice can listen to how she responds, and the third person can confirm. I refuse to speak to her without witnesses anymore because the principal doesn't believe me when I say she shames me....thank you for your support. Raise your hands and I will select the witness cooperative group.

Dang when I was a teacher it went like this between me and my paras...Ms. Para, scribe this for Johnny and after that help Suzie in the bathroom and then for the next 20 minutes read this selection to Alejandro in 8 minutes read 2 minute break sessions (but use your judgement if 8 is too much shorten it when he fatigues and let me know). What you resent scribing? You don't enjoy assisting someone with a catheter, seriously? in this job market where there are 20 applicants for every job? get over it! The students didn't ask, I assigned. I mean they did ask for things but unless it was just bad timing and we had to fit it in, they got the help they needed.

it's okay, I appreciate your apology... I know you don't know the entire back story. It was more than an IEP violation it's discrimination. EVERY YEAR, the paras (teacher's aids) shame my son... Every year at least one or two "specials" teachers (these are the "art" teachers, health teacher, etc) have a problem with my son receiving accommodations. Last year the person assigned to scribe for my DS gave him such a hard time about it he stopped asking for the accommodation. It took a few months before I found out what was going on. She was really mean to him. Last year a "specials" teacher asked the entire class in front of my son if the class could confirm that my son had a disability and does he get accommodations for that disability. It is on-going issue with this school. This year the language arts/reading/spelling teacher has twice denied or tried to deny my son hos accommodations. Twice, I have had to intervene. Now this. And DS said this is not the first time she said this to him... he said she often says it when he requests his scribing accommodation...

Well, I said this, in part, in an email to the principal this morning:




Well, that got his attention because, low and behold, instead of the routine denial that the remarks ever happened, he actually admitted it happened and that he spoke with the para to not do that again.

But I am so sick of this. Every time this happens more of his self-esteem is crushed. This stuff is often said in front of other students and that affects him. I am seriously seriously, seriously considering not signing the Medicaid form that allows them to bill Medicaid for my son's "special education" category and his therapies. I have to consent to that by signing a form and I need to my yearly consent in March. I told the special-ed teacher I am not signing it this year. I am not giving consent until I stop hearing these kind of stories coming from my son. It is crushing him and don't know what else to do to get the school to do something to stop it.

What's sick is the culture and from past stuff, it is pretty clear it is passed top-down. I think it is somewhet encouraging that there have purportedly been an increase in AT requests, maybe you are the wedge that is forcing mr. aggressive + passive/aggressive to run his school more non-discriminatingly. I hope you do manage to get out of there.