Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Tell me it gets better-- please!

I keep telling myself that DD has given us really excellent practice for the teen years. The thing that concerns me is that then she'll have so many more opportunities to prove just HOW independent she is...

Anyway, it's been up and down for us. Some times have been almost unbearable and others much more livable. We've been in a long "livable" stretch, but it's still not easy.

No solutions here, but I can relate to your DC's intensity and wanted to say that you are not alone...I have an uber-intense DC here, too! Very, very self-directed and independent, extremely bright - but parenting is NOT easy. DC can be defiant, argumentative and typical "parenting advice" doesn't seem to work with this DC. I feel as though I am living through the teen years now, although DC is far from it. Luckily, DC seems to understand that it is important to be much more compliant at school, but at home DC lets loose! It is nice to hear from PPs that there is a chance this might improve!!!

Not alone at all! DD6 has gone from sweetness to you-can't-make-me-do-anything this past year. That and the intense worries (I might be kidnapped at any moment! What if I want to have a baby but I can't find a husband! How will I know what to be when I grow up!) and increasing displeasure at school has been exhausting.

The logarithm is a slowly increasing function of its argument, so being logarithmically worse is less problematic than being exponentially worse as a function of age.

Yeah, I was frantic enough thinking it might be linear.

Well, a logarithmic function always approaches a limit, which makes sense, because a child's rebelliousness may approach (but hopefully never reach) a limit of matri/patricide.

5 and 6 seemed to be the height of defiance for our dd, *so far* - she is only 7 and although still defiant, not just rolling on the floor kicking (most of the time). So that's better.
I could be wrong, but I think the homeschooling may be helping. If we want to be able to influence her and have her accept our say-so, being with her more probably helps.

Ds was a pretty reasonable child, though he had his share of tantrums at 3 and 4. He seems to be maintaining a desire to please. Now at 13 to shock and dismay us he will jokingly roll out a bad word or say NO! when he is really really not into something, but so far doesn't show any more than normal signs of sliding into independence.

Gee that helps.

Sorry to tell you that while it does gets better, it gets worse again as they get older, and them better again. Kind of spirals. We have had good times & difficult times, almost alternative years. So far for us 2nd, 6th have been the worst for us.

Good Luck.

Well at least I have some hope, by some standards. I honestly feel like I can barely think anymore. My brain is so frazzled. Hence, I probably meant exponential, but typed logarithmic, but envisioned linear. If this doesn't peak (or bottom out) soon...... I don't know what. Literally. Can't. Think. Anymore.