Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy GT school not enough for DS - what now?

KCMI - He just turned 8 in Jan. so I guess he is in the middle? I think the teacher meant for academics. She said that almost nothing they have done in math has challenged him yet.

I will ask the teacher about this since I don't observe him in school. I'm so unsure about how to address fidgeting, etc. in school. For example, I know he would like to sit on a bouncy ball at the computer but I can totally see him bouncing all over the room or crazy bouncing in place unable to help himself and causing trouble.

Avoidance behavior was not brought up in OT - she mainly focused on the physical issues like strength and coordination, not so much the other behaviors. He doesn't avoid anything other than something he perceives is going to be "too hard" (like some of the VT activities).

I don't know if they have gifted IEPs - I will look into that for sure.

Madoosa - I would love to homeschool but my husband and I both work full time and I don't see financially how we could do it. We moved to go to this school so we will work with them and hopefully find a path for DS that works. If not, I don't know what we will do.

We have this on-going problem as well. At its worst, I go to a place of comedy and humor; it works for me. It is like some on-going cosmic joke -- three generations for us in the United States over a time period from about the late 1920s (time of immigration) to present. I can't believe that it never changes. My patrenal grandmother used to say that there is nothing new under our sun. Hang in there and look forward to university / college level. Unfortunately, then we go through it all over again with the next generation. There is no problem fix yet. Our child is always bored, under-utilized and under-challeneged. Even the gifted support do not see it. Just hang in there and try to not think about how were paying for this and how far-ahead other countries are. The schools don't seem worried. Are they watching the news? Stay in a place of humor. Good Luck!

*paternal

Has vision improved this year with vt? I ask this (and maybe it's obvious or you already know);because the neuropsych who tested our ds said once eyes were improved and he needed less "brain power" to see, he would soar ahead in learning.

Yes, his vision has definitely improved but I'm not seeing much change in behavior yet, even at home. If he's not engaged in something he's really into (reading, computer time) he is kind of all over the place.

You would think a kid would bounce all over the place but if you make the expectations clear and just start with short sessions I think you could make it work....there is another thing you could try too...it is flat on the bottom and spherical on the top like a ball cut about a third of the way down....it is filled with gel and not air so it is squishy and not bouncy but it gives sensory feedback.

Search for OT supply sites and you will see all sorts of seating discs and such...the nice thing about a disc is you can use it all over the place a ball would be hard to transport to the library and cafeteria, etc.

Bronxalea - I think you're asking the right questions and doing a good job trying to assess what's what, which is easier said than done.

If the school isn't challenging or offering enough for your ds in terms of math, then that's likely a concern and a source for behavioral issues. Of course, that's only one subject too. You'd have to take a methodical look on behavioral and the points where school isn't challenging your son.

The other aspect is that IF you address/eliminate the sensory issues as much as possible and then the behaviors continue to occur, then you'll know it's not necessarily a sensory issue and more something behavioral.

Another suggestion - how much can you supplement at home or how much can your child bring supplemental material to school and do? Perhaps it's possible for your son to quietly have something to do when he's feeling restless? Is he allowed to get up and take a walk/go to the bathroom? Or is this not an option? I ask because my son was at two gifted schools where it was possible to get up and move around when he felt restless and fidgety and this really helped. Of course, it didn't address the lack of not being challenged but at least I could make a better assessment/decision based on knowing my son could get up and walk around when necessarily. I know there's only so much you can do - but I think the trick is knowing what's in his control, what's in the school's control, and what's in your control so you can get a grip on what's going on and find the holes with your son.

VT - it can take some time before you see improvements. When ds8 was in vt between 4-6 yrs old, I remember it took about 6-8 months before we saw the first wave of big developments and changes. In Dec, ds started to wear glasses again and we haven't noticed any dramatic differences yet either, but I know these things often take time.

Sweetie - I'll look into that - thanks!

cdfox - It does sound like we need a process of elimination, but I think we need to address the academics first then sensory if needed. The teacher is supposed to get back to me after conferring with others about what they might be able to do. We haven't had a meeting yet - just spoken on the phone.

As far as I know, they are allowed to move around the room or sit in the quiet corner if needed. But he's also doing things like reading during morning announcements and when redirected, usually complies but gets frustrated I think because people are always "bossing him around." This is his thing lately - wanting to exert some independence by not following the rules. This morning, he got dressed in clothes that were too small (pants and shirt too short LOL - yes, I should have gotten them out of the drawer...) but I told him to change and he threw a fit about how we can't control what he wears. He changed and then said, "look at me! why are you making me wear this?" when I didn't even pick it out LOL

Edited to add that we do supply materials at home, educational apps, and computer time. He love learning things on YouTube and also loves making PowerPoint slides! I've bought all the elementary Life of Fred math books and he flew through them. I may need to buy the next level. He's been tinkering with algebra for a while. Not sure about taking things to school - I'm sure we will discuss that with the teacher.

Just wanted to provide an update...I got a call from the vice principal and we are scheduled to meet with her and other "team" members (such as his teacher, guidance counselor, and other specialists) to basically troubleshoot my son and come up with strategies to help support him. In his case, they are concerned with academic challenge and his social development.

I'm interested to hear what the issues are in more detail and what they might suggest. This is our first major meeting like this so I am nervous. I tend to feel very emotional (just feeling overwhelmed and teary although I haven't yet actually cried when talking to teachers) when feeling like I have to defend my son or I am at a loss on what to do. I need to try be very matter of fact.

I took some notes from this thread and will try to incorporate some of these suggestions/ideas into the conversation if possible.

Good luck! Please let us know how it goes.