Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional The Morning Time Hustle... HELP!

When our children lack executive function, we may need to train them as well as do a bit of scaffolding in that department. My "aha moment" came when I realized that checklists like the Flylady ones are not really pointless and silly (I am used to storing and processing large amounts of data in my mind that I never need checklists). Checklists impose a very important thing called "Accountability" into our children's lives. I was missing that part of the puzzle for most of my own youth.
So, I now make a checklist for my 6 year old. It has 3 sections in them:
Morning routines, Evening Routines and Bedtime Routines. They are very simple and easy to follow instructions.
My child, just this morning was being rather quiet which made me go and check on him - he was reading a christmas toy catalog and got lost in it. All I had to do was tell him that he was running late and that he was not done with his morning routine and I was going to leave the house at 8:00 AM no matter what to get results.

Here is an example of a Bedtime Routine:
1. Drink water
2. Eat vitamins
3. Brush teeth
4. Lay out uniform for school tomorrow
5. Lay out socks, belt, underwear for tomorrow
6. Put homework folder back in backpack
7. Put textbooks back in backpack
8. Put Free Reading book in backpack
9. Sharpen all pencils
10. Put lunchbox, water bottle in kitchen for washing
11. Shower and change

I make a checklist and list week days by the side and put it in one of those "dry erase pockets". My son has become a regular little checklist follower these days and if he follows all his routines every day for a month, he gets to go on a trip to a museum of his choice.
Checklists have made our life less chaotic in the past year. I use digital checklists for my tasks and chores, so if your children can handle electronic checklists, then let them use their phone/tablet/computer etc for ths purpose. Good luck.

My son sharpens his pencil at 6:36 every morning....everything else is similarly planned out to the minute by him...there is a minute or two for petting the dog and I swear there used to be annoy my brother for two minutes until we separated their morning wake time together...little brother doesn't get up until older brother has walked out the door.

He had to get that organized because he has to be out the door at 6:45 and he has feeding dog and walking dog responsibilities...in addition to his own stuff.

LOL I feel like a slacker mom! My kids play minecraft in the morning until DH prepares their breakfast. Then DH tells them to brush their teeth and get dressed which they usually do relatively uneventfully (although we may have a situation where DS put on shorts and it's going to be below freezing outside so has to be told to change ) Then I think they get back on the computer until DH is ready to go and calls them down to put on shoes and get in the car. All lunches and snacks are made and packed the night before by DH and me. The bookbag is packed and made ready night before by me and DS together usually (after homework).

I second this. When we wrote our family rules, I had a few suggestions and we all gave input and agreed together as a family what they would be. Big buy in by all involved and made it easier to reference later.

Are you in my house? Seriously.

I herd those cats every morning! Well, we do have some of that done the night before, to avoid as much as possible, but it's still crazy. DS sleeps in his clothes so I don't have to fight him into them in the morning, although it's been dicey lately because he was wearing shorts but now it's too cold, so he goes to bed in shorts still and needs pants in the morning. Today he decided to change his pants just as we were going out the door, and he already had his shoes on, so it was difficult. I actually put his shoes on him while he is staring in the direction of the TV and not eating his breakfast -- DH gets frustrated that I put an 11-year-old's shoes on for him, but he's not the one who has to keep saying "put your shoes on" every thirty seconds for half an hour!

I do make most of the lunches the night before, so all I have to do is make two PBJ sandwiches in the morning. And get them into the right backpacks, which is 50-50 lately.

DD usually bounces out of bed, but then it's a battle to keep her focused long enough to get dressed, brush her hair, don't let the dog get her breakfast, brush her teeth, stop playing with the dog, put her shoes on, stop playing with the dog, put her coat and not her hoodie on because it's below freezing, keep her from stuffing her backpack with toys, and so on. And every two minutes, yelling, "DS EAT" and then getting him to do all of the above.

I do second the advice above, that you may be allowing too much time. When I was a kid, the only times I ever missed the bus were when I had too much time to get ready. If I woke up with just enough time to do everything and run out the door, I was fine, but if I got up early for some reason, it was all over. I would invariably think I had time to do this extra and that extra thing, and I would run out of time and miss the bus. I'm still that way, really, just no bus. Too much time is deadly.

Thank you guys so much for all the advice!!

We are definitely going to sit down tonight and make up a list of things that need to be done before bed, and things to be done in the morning. Hopefully that will help! I may have to buy a taser to try and wake DH up so he can help with this circus! (He typically sleeps through this whole fiasco somehow.)

Typically we manage to make it out the door on time, everyone with all their stuff, but today was just TERRIBLE. Of course that led to DS having a terrible morning at school... not even an hour into school I had an email from the Spec. Ed. director asking about how his morning was! *sigh*

I was able to go climb at lunch, so I feel better and calmer now!

We have three checklists for each kid, now - morning chores, afternoon chores, and bedtime chores. There were a few weeks of getting everyone in the habit of checking the lists every day, but now it is really nice. When I see a kid dawdling around, I just ask if s/he's done everything on his/her list, and they usually get moving to check. DD9 is getting more reliable about clearing the table and feeding the cat, too. This plus a big whiteboard that lists the "special" stuff for each day (library day for each kid, afterschool activities, etc.) has really cut down on the nagging.

Really glad to hear you got some "you" time in today and so much helpful advice here. Hope you see progress soon.

My DS 10 has had a clip board size magnetic dry eraser board since he was 7. It has magnets on it with each task he needs to do to get ready for school (i.e. eat breakfast, clear table, brush teeth, get dressed, pack backpack (he has another board for this with each thing that goes in his backpack), etc. On one side it says "To Do" on the other it says "Done" He moves each task from the To Do to Done. If he needs some help staying focused, I say please go to your chart. When he's done, he gets free screen time.

We also lay out the clothes (underwear and socks included) the night before.

Our mornings are bad too. DD, age 8, has severe ADHD and her meds don't kick in until around the time she gets to school, or a half hour later. Her younger brother doesn't have ADHD but has some organizational issues (probably related to his dyspraxia) and between the two of them and their goofing around, it makes me want to scream and pull out my hair. The neighbors have witnessed me on the driveway by my car screaming at my children as they are running in circles through the yard. It is especially bad in winter when they have to have boots, gloves, hat, scarf, snow pants, coat, etc. etc. Since she throws this stuff all around sometimes we can't even find it. She is continually going to school without her glasses and then I get a call saying to bring them in because she can't see anything.

The school marks kids tardy if they show up even 10 seconds after the bell rings. The second the bell rings they lock the doors. Too many tardies and they call CPS for educational neglect.

One thing I do is let her sleep in her clothes. It sounds ridiculous, but she doesn't seem to care and at least I don't have to worry about clothes in the morning. Unless her clothes get dirty, I let her wear the same outfit for two days. Give me the mom of the year award. Her hair is super curly with ringlets popping out of her head in every direction and she looks like a ragamuffin most of the time.