Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy No differentiation--what do you tell your child?

A couple weeks ago I volunteered in DS's first grade class. The teacher put me at a "station" where I was supposed to give the kids cards and little ziploc baggies of words. So on the cards in one column was "_ _ g" and in another column "g _ _ " and the kids had to arrange their words like "dog" or "tag" or "got" into the correct column and then read the lists of words to me. There was an entire file box of cards. When a kid completes one they go onto the next one...not necessarily harder, just with different letters/sounds. This was a ridiculous task for about half of the children in the classroom. The other half of the kids had problems reading the words and I had to help them, leaving the other kids to sit there bored and whining about being done with their cards. My own DS was so unengaged, he just sat there and fiddled with his words--didn't even try to arrange them. The teacher did not have the kids ability-grouped at all, which I thought was dumb. If they are going to rotate through stations why not ability-group them and give each group work at the right level? Instead, everyone does the same work. At one station, DS was allowed to read on his own for 15 minutes and he read the huge "Earth and Space" book I sent in for him (he says he reads this every day). That was the only time where he was doing appropriate work.
I have mentioned over and over again about DS needing advanced work to the teacher, going so far as to say "I trust you to figure out a way to get him working at the right level." I can't imagine saying anything else without the relationship becoming negative. I'm sure she knows how I feel, but she simply does not get it and isn't going to change her methods.

But what do I say to DS? Particularly for some of the station activities that are way too easy? Do I tell him to not worry about it and he can take a break, he already knows how to do that stuff? Tell him he needs to follow the teacher's directions and do it anyway? I don't want him to get a mindset that he doesn't need to do what the teacher says (esp. since he is on the lazy end of things), but I also think some of the activities are completely useless and a waste of time. For homework she is sending home 5+2 stuff, knowing that it is way too easy but says she wants him to work on his handwriting. So by the time DS does that, he is tired of writing (he most likely has dysgraphia) and he does not want to do the Singapore math workbook (2 grade levels ahead) I bought for him. I feel like telling him to skip the 5+2 math even though the teacher wants it done, and just do the Singapore math.
I expect this is going to be a continuing theme with every class/teacher and I'm wondering how other people deal with it.

Over the long haul it isn't really sustainable, honestly.

So people around here seem to figure out ways to get away from it-- and that involves a LOT of different strategies:

a) homeschooling
b) afterschooling (but, as you're seeing already, that comes at the price of free time that they'd otherwise have, which eventually strikes many parents as painfully unfair)
c) different school placement
d) other, even more creative solutions.

If HowlerKarma's response was a multiple choice question, I would pick e) all of the above. We've done all of these approaches. Homeschooling is the best option for meeting a child's academic needs, but there is a huge time cost for the parental unit who does the teaching. Plus, there can be other tradeoffs, like lack of interaction with other kids.

This year, I'm afterschooling my two younger kids in math. I did this with my eldest for many years. They both hate the school math program so much, the afterschooling is actually a relief for them. They have the same math teacher and there is a long thread about her on this forum (search for my name in the advanced search box and look for "advice needed" "very difficult teacher" ~1-2 months ago).

My kids are a bit older than yours (9 and 11). I've told them the truth, which is that the teacher is wrong in certain ways. In fact, before I told them, they knew something wasn't right and hearing it said out loud by someone they trust has been a huge help for them. One of them was blaming himself for having trouble in her class and both were losing ground mathematically. I also tell them to be respectful of the teacher and to get through her class as best they can. I've made this clear to them.

If your child is at a public school, the teacher is probably stressed about NCLB and test scores, which is what's driving her focus on the low achievers.

With a younger child, one possibility might be to tell him that the teacher has a lot of kids in her class and she's doing her best. Personally, even if I don't tell my kids the whole truth, I make sure I tell them something that isn't contradictory. So in this case, maybe (maybe) something along the lines of "teacher has to pay more attention to the kids who are having trouble. All the other teachers in America have to do the same thing." (This is just an idea to help you think.)

I'm very skeptical about teachers at this point. Your son's teacher knows that some of the kids in her class aren't learning from those flash cards. While NCLB may force teachers to pay more attention to struggling students, it doesn't forbid them from giving advanced students a different set of flashcards. She presumably knows this and chooses to do what she does for her own reasons. Maybe you could volunteer to give the advanced students harder work/different flash cards, and maybe she'd think that's a great idea. But don't be surprised if she doesn't. I don't know why. Maybe she doesn't want to have kids working at different levels. Who knows? I just know that this is how these things work.

The fundamental philosophies of education in this country are broken, and this problem drives everything else. Smart people simply do not generally go into K-8 teaching, and most of the few that do leave. Their SAT, GRE and (especially) Miller Analogies scores back up this statement. One result is situations that are damaging for bright kids. High school teachers are better, but the high schools run on the same broken system.

Thinking locally, some have said that teachers may not "get" it, others have heard teachers question what children will learn next year if they are accelerated in the curriculum, others report that some teachers are tasked with ensuring that kids even out by third grade.

Thinking nationally, some have shared that these practices are planned to achieve equity, with equal outcomes for all. It comes at a high price to those who could achieve more.

Thinking globally, many have observed a widespread pattern in which children are seemingly being taught to be mere cogs in a wheel, to place acquiescence to the system over consideration of one's own aptitudes and appetites for knowledge and the benefits which they as accomplished individuals may uniquely provide to society in the future. Some have said the pressure toward getting children to function in a uniform fashion is related to the large national debt and projections of the USA declining in the world economy while other countries become more powerful. Some who have come to the USA from other lands have shared stories of seeing changes in the USA which may signal we are on the path to becoming the type of system they have escaped from or left behind.

Thinking locally, might teacher be working to ensure that kids even out by third grade?

Thinking nationally or globally, might the teacher/school/district believe that squelching the learning of the kids at the top IS the right level, insomuch as it furthers a possible goal of uniform outcomes for all kids?

Regarding his present situation, might he enjoy privately observing and analyzing the situation throughout the day...? A simple explanation may be to use the analogy of a game... some games are cooperative (everyone wins together)... some are competitive (one person or one team wins). Possibly DS may wish to consider which activities during the day match each of these different models? Kids may be very observant of which individuals are working together cooperatively, competitively, or at crossed-purposes in most situations, and how this may change or polarize when others are present. Some kids can quickly tell who is supposed to be the boss, who really is in charge, and who takes over when that person is not around. Some kids can easily describe what things a person said and did which indicated their leadership or place in the pecking order.

Regarding how his educational experiences, and those of other gifted kids, may fit into the grand scheme of things... some kids want the pure truth of any matter and any attempt at sugar-coating may result in less trust toward the parents. You know your kids best. You will know how much of world history and societies, current events, and the economy to share.

Meanwhile another poster gave great advice in summarizing options I would add that parents may wish to look into their local homeschooling laws and stay abreast of any proposed changes which may limit parental authority and autonomy in this area (making homeschooling illegal or increasing regulation/reporting, etc). Maintaining the option to homeschool is key to having that option available when a family may need it, and such need may arise quickly when a school situation deteriorates or the child begins deteriorating.

+1. I value this approach in helping children see things through the other person's point of view, acquainting children with the constraints within which others must operate. This is a skill which may serve children well throughout their lives. Understanding the opposition's view may help engage in thinking which creatively overcomes objections and proposes a possible win-win solution.

I am sorry, blackcat, but it looks like you need to come up with creative solutions if you plan to stay with this school.
If the teacher is not doing any meaningful differentiation, then there is not much you can do about it without straining the relationship.
If you are an active volunteer, you can ask the teacher if you could take the gifted children (you could call them "advanced" if you like) aside and work with them on challenging content - like difficult spelling, advanced math, reading groups etc.
Last year, my son's teacher always claimed to differentiate, but nothing seemed to happen. She said that she could handle the differentiation when I suggested that I bring it up with the administration, but then, she was always looking tired, worn out, disorganized, hassled and trying to keep on top of things because she had a mixed class of K/1st graders and the effort to differentiate seemed too much.
I put my foot down firmly once and she conceded that she had no time (I read that as unwilling?) to put in the extra effort to create special curriculum/worksheets. So, she allowed me to make my own work packets at my son's level and send it in his backpack every day (it is another story that this strategy failed). See if this method works for you.

Another easy differentiation was to allow my son to attend "library reading time" with the librarian with a higher grade and permission to check out higher grade level books.

And they differentiated a lot in the Tech Lab time too (I was an active volunteer there and took my son aside in the lab and taught him independently).

As for the unchallenging homework - our policy has beeen to do it irrespective of how easy or "silly" it was. The idea was to teach my child to do all his tasks and not to pick and choose what he can do - we all do pointless tasks daily whether we like it or not. What we found was that this kind of homework, when done before afterschool activities, gets done very quickly -
Me: "Son, the sooner you finish your math homework, the sooner you can head out to Karate class."
DS: "Sure thing!" (where otherwise it would take a whole lot of whining. You can insert your son's favorite activity here)

As for the SM afterschooling, I gave up on asking DS to work on it after a long day in school (he has problems with writing too) and it takes forever to get even one page done in a day. So, my creative solution to this is: he works through the problems verbally and I scribe for him. This way, we get 4-5 pages done in one sitting while I can correct him as he goes and we review concepts while doing work. We have gone through one whole level of SM books (including IP and CWP) this way.

As for telling my son - I told him that the teacher had rules that she had to follow a certain curriculum and also that in a group setting, we have to all wait for others to catch up. But, we could always advance while afterschooling.
Good luck.

blackcat, I'll second the concerns that the issue here isn't really what to say to your ds but rather how do you get him placed appropriately or how do you get him appropriately challenging work?

I'll also add - I've heard for years from my friends, each of their kids is going to have one not-so-great teacher during their school career. It's possible you've landed there early.


Please know, this is just me, but this is what we've told our kids in these situations. They need to do the work even if it's mind-numbingly boring and way too easy. That's a part of being at school, you do the work you are asked to do (that's also a part of life after school). This is *not* the same as me saying as a parent - you do this, it's too easy, and I don't care. I *absolutely* care, and I show that by advocating for more appropriately challenging work. I also ask my children, what is easy about the work, what would you rather do or learn, can you think of a way to make it more challenging. But I also think it's important for them to do it for two reasons: first, it's ok for them to understand that they are smarter than what's being taught, but it's not ok for them to think they are allowed to get around work because of it. They still need to respect the teacher and do what he/she says (while in the background their parents do their best to help get them appropriately challenged). Second reason - if they aren't doing the work, the teacher can always come back at you and say your child can't advance farther etc until they've done the work and shown mastery, or a teacher might turn the situation around and try to say it's evidence of a behavior issue. So we tell our kids - the way to get past this is to work through it.


I can't remember - do you have an evaluation scheduled for your ds? If you think he's dysgraphic, the absolutely best thing you can do right now is to have him evaluated and either get a diagnosis or rule out the diagnosis. Once he has the official diagnosis, you can request accommodations - and for a dysgraphic student, it's so very important to both separate out the writing from other types of assignments, as well as making sure your ds isn't being forced to practice handwriting skills in a way that is ultimately useless due to his dysgraphia. Instead you need to be moving forward planning how to accommodate.


Has he actually asked to be after-schooled in math? Some kids just really aren't up for it, and no matter how inappropriate his current math level is at school I wouldn't worry about pushing the after-school math if it's not something he's genuinely interested in and excited about.


FWIW, even though I mentioned above that I would tell my kids to complete the classwork they are asked to do in class, I didn't worry if they didn't do the work sent home in their early years of elementary school, especially if it was work I knew they knew how to do. I didn't make a big deal about it with the teacher - didn't tell the teacher we weren't doing it because it was too easy, I just let my kids not do it *IF* they seemed tired, frustrated, annoyed about it etc. If they weren't fighting doing it, I had them complete it even if it was way below the level they were capable of. If it's all truly too easy, and if your child is really interested and wants to after-school and is asking for it, I can't see that doing the extra easy homework from school would be so tiring he wouldn't want to do the Singapore math. I'm guessing there's something more going on here - either dysgraphia or possibly lack of interest in doing extra math or maybe it's the Singapore method or workbook or whatever. I'm not personally familiar with Singapore, but having three different children I have seen three completely different personalities re what method my kids like to use to learn math.


We've seen advocating as a continuing theme, but I would set myself up early on expecting that work below my child's level at school *had* to be a continuing theme. I'd do what I can to research all my options for schooling. And with your ds, since you suspect dysgraphia, I'd get an eval so I had good hard data and knew for sure if it is or isn't an issue.

Good luck!

polarbear

Thanks for all the input so far. I agree on telling him the teacher is trying her best and has kids at all different levels. DS isn't complaining about anything, but he has never been the type to complain. He likes going to school to be with the other kids. I know he really likes gym, music, some of the science lessons. He likes being in the "Minecraft Club" that he set up (with kids who have no idea how to play Minecraft LOL). In terms of social skills, he has made a lot of progress. Last year for several months he resisted going to school and this year he says school is "just fine". It took him forever to make friends last year, but this year he acts like a social butterfly and is a totally different child. School has helped him to gain a lot of social skills. So I can't see homeschooling. I also can't see transferring schools in the middle of the year, because he is reserved and that would probably send him backwards about 10 steps socially. I guess I need to figure out how much to push "listen to your teacher" or let it go if he slacks off. If he doesn't feel like arranging words like "dog" into a column, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to do it either. I feel like letting ALL of the high-ability kids slack off and telling them that I will check the units off on the checklist and it's Ok if they don't feel like doing it. But of course I won't do that because it gives a totally wrong message. I'm on the schedule twice per month. I go back tomorrow and I'm dreading it. DD's first grade teacher did not do things the same way at all in terms of the literacy/reading block.

With the 5+2 math homework, his teacher said that she is sending it home because he doesn't have time to finish it in class and it's "not fair to him" (she has the kids do the front side of the math sheet in the morning before the bell rings, and take the back side home as homework, but DS wasn't even finishing the front side). I must have looked confused by the "it's not fair to him" remark, because she then said that she needs a record of his handwriting for his IEP to show what progress he is making, and if he is rushed in the morning and not finishing, that is not a fair record. Well, why can't she use his journal or just about anything else as a record? I think she just wants him to do the first grade math curriculum (and it's not fair if we make him do harder work!), but that really does not make sense because according to the out of level testing she did (which I asked her to do) he has already mastered the second grade curriculum so is at least two grades ahead. I'm debating sending in a note saying that she can use the Singapore Math and any other work he's doing in class as a "record", and I will not be having him do first grade math at home anymore.

this is a good idea. I had to do this a couple days ago because he simply refused to do it. I wrote on the sheet that I scribed for him so that the teacher wouldn't think it was his handwriting (I have been telling DS the "Singapore Math" is his homework along with the other sheet, even though that really is not the case).

polarbear, he clearly has severe fine motor issues related to DCD so I don't think having an official "dysgraphia" diagnosis would necessarily help. He loves math, but hates the writing. I think from now on when he starts fighting it I'll offer to scribe for him.

Edited to add, they are evaluating him, but he will most likely get services through the DCD (and being physically impaired), not dysgraphia. Not sure if they are even assessing him for that specifically. I have mentioned it to them several times.

blackcat, I am sorry - I forgot that your ds has DCD (I am sure I have old-age memory challenges lol!). You should be able to go to his teacher *today* and request that he not be required to use math problems to practice handwriting. Dysgraphia is a *word* - the important thing is that he has fine motor challenges related to his DCD. One nuance you'll need to determine is - if it's dysgraphia, practicing handwriting isn't going to lead to long-term handwriting "fluency" - but if it's a fine motor issue that's remedial practicing handwriting can help potentially. The key is, if it's the case that remediation can help, your ds needs to have meaningful planned remediation - it's not something the teacher should be deciding to do via extra math practice

polarbear