DS6 is in the gifted program at school and in the first grade. While we haven't had formal IQ testing done, my hunch is that he's gifted, not "just" a high achiever... We are going to talk to the school counselor tomorrow...
You may wish to prepare for the meeting.
- What are your goals for the meeting? Staying calm is one.
Not having test scores, you may wish to have your goal for the meeting be successfully advocating for the school to test for giftedness. They may suggest this on their own. They may readily agree if you suggest it. They may be resistant.
- An agenda with topics, who will be present, and estimated length of time is often helpful. Approaches for asking for an agenda have been discussed by other posters in recent threads.
- Read school policies. These are often found on a school or district website. Look for information related to identification, and any description of programs/services they may offer to gifted pupils. Print these pages to add to a folder or ring binder of papers that you will bring to meetings and keep as your paper trail. As the years pass, you may wish to tab your binder by year, adding new versions of these policies as they are updated.
- Read your state laws about gifted education and special ed in the event of any possible future 2e/LD diagnosis. Print these and place in your advocacy folder or binder.
- Look at lists of gifted characteristics. Make a checklist or inventory noting which of these characteristics/behaviors you see in your child. You may wish to include specific examples. Place this in your advocacy binder.
- Create an inventory of kiddo's milestones, skills, accomplishments, achievements to-date. Arrange the list by date... for example, when he knew the alphabet, first read, did math, inquired about certain things. Be sure to indicate what was child-led, initiated by child, done of their own interest & motivation. Include the child's current interests pursued at home, attention span, etc. Place this in your advocacy binder.
- Create a list of books read, by date. For emerging readers, be sure to indicate any books which were read aloud to the child, or co-read with the child, as opposed to being read independently (with questions on certain words, discussion about the book, etc). You may wish to look up the lexile or reading level of the books which he chooses and reads independently. A spreadsheet format may be convenient for documenting your son's reading list. Place this in your advocacy binder.
- Learn the grade level outcomes at the school. What is a child expected to know and demonstrate at the end of each grade? Place this in your advocacy binder.
- Comparing the inventories/checklists you created with what is taught at each grade level, what grade level do you observe your son performing at? Document this and place in your advocacy binder. It may be math, 2nd grade... reading, 3rd grade... science, 2nd grade etc. Meanwhile he is in 1st grade.
- Gathering this data helps you guide a discussion if a meeting should flounder or seem at an impasse. For example, rather than feeling that the meeting is family Vs. school, you might ask if you might all look together at the data and see what it may indicate.
- At the meeting, be open to receiving the school's data/observations. Take notes.
- Summarize after the meeting with a friendly e-mail to all attendees. This email might include areas of agreement, next-steps, open items for further discussion, requesting a follow-up meeting, etc.
Davidson Database has wonderful articles and lists of books on advocacy.