I haven't been on in while and feel like I've barely hanging on some days but I do pop on to see other people are handling similar problems from time to time and thought maybe I'd update about DD2. We did what I thought a full educational testing this summer but I had the distinct impression they were focusing on the ADHD. I told them flat out in the beginning I wouldn't consider medication unless they agreed with the OT. I left the third appt with them telling me they can't Dx ADHD without her being in school, they didn't see any of it (the report had some facts just plain wrong), and medication was for the severe cases, because I was obviously pushing for it (sigh). Oh, and she has a reading disorder, not specified, and public school would fix it. (I also learned at the last appt this was a local public school psychologist going for her masters degree; not exactly the unbiased opinion I was seeking.) DD2 is done with all this, sees no problems with her life (something useful we did learn from the testing), and so we're done with that route for now.
In other news, she's on her second year in K12 and it's working. Her IEP has her getting speech therapy twice a week for blending, pronunciation, and reading, and OT for fine motor skills. She's no longer resistant to writing! She meets with her SPED teacher 6 to 8 times a week in which she gets more practice in reading, writing, and math. We have a flexible schedule, plenty of bounce time, and has gotten better at focusing on the task at hand since we have really worked in the wonderful invention of schedules that she can understand. Right now she's doing addition work sheets on her own. I suspect she'll be catching up in math shortly now that she knows/hears the difference between 13/14 and 30/40.
Her talents are still focused on how high can she swing and remembering the characteristics of each My Little Pony but I consider those fine goals for a 7 yo. She is designing a MLP theme park, though, and likes that she can label the rides.
Anyway, I'm still reading how you all are coping, borrowing several tricks, and feeling more at ease with how things are going.
DD2 has gotten comfortable enough with herself, her abilities, and what she can and cannot not do that the anxiety has come down many notches which is a huge help.