Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DYS announcement

The person who wrote my son's DYS recommendation is his religious school teacher. She is on the younger side and is generally super bubbly. When DS was accepted, I sent her an email letting her know the news. It didn't occur to me that she would be walking around telling the entire community the news! This is really NOT what I wanted to happen. I feel uncomfortable now when people approach me (not so much to congratulate us but to ask, "what is it that he was accepted into?") Has anyone else been in this position? I'm so uncomfortable answering people's questions.

Also, there a few people in our community who also attend my son's school. I REALLY REALLY don't want the news spread among families there (we go to a school where there are a lot of "those" parents). The staff at the school is very hostile to giftedness - I will have enough trouble when our DYS consultant starts working with them!

How did news spread about your DYS? How did you handle it? (I actually googled this and found that some people put their child's DYS acceptance in the local paper!)

Maybe its just me but my general attitude is-- Who cares what people think and if they ask, then they get an answer. But alas, I am also the parent who has raised my daughter takes pride in her nerdy ways. So when people ask me what it is I tell them its basically the Doogie Howser society where she can meet other nerdy birdies like her (She has an angry birds cap that says nerdy birdy) and she will have opportunities to do things that she thinks is fun that other kids think is boring. For most people, that's enough and if they are really interested I give them a real explanation. The best thing you can do for your kid is to make the right kind of big deal out of things. Its a good big deal to be accepted into the Davidson Institute. Don't try to hide their accomplishment. You don't have to use the word gifted if they don't care for that term, but most schools recognize performance at high levels when it is thrown in front of their face.

I agree...I don't care what other people THINK. I do care how we are treated though. I am fortunate that our religious community very much supports learning. Really, it's the "right" response (IMHO) when hearing that there is a child who just loves to learn and do his thing. At DS school, the teachers and board of ed really do not like gifted children. They are all tied up in perceived issues about equality, opportunity and other issues. (The super sad part about this is that the low SES kids who are gifted and being literally starved - educationally - because of this attitude.) When I notified the principal that DS was accepted into DYS her response was, "fantastic! that's so exciting! you are so fortunate that you could afford the testing to find out if he was eligible. how wonderful it would be if many of our other gifted children could afford testing too." The staff enjoys actively ignoring gifted children. But not my kid now!

ugh

I think it was VERY unprofessional of her to tell anyone.

I totally agree with this part. But I wouldn't add nerdy in the explanation. We don't want anyone to think that DYS is nerdy group.

I would not go out there and announce that my DD is a DYSer but if I see someone who is DYS worthy, I might recruit. Especially in public school, the advocacy is easier with more people in your shoes.

So, if other DYS worthy parents ask me, I would answer in detail and even encourage them to apply.

But for others, I would just say your DD/DS qualifies and now belongs to the DYS. It is a group of kids who has similar interest (in lieu of learning) and similar abilities (in lieu of IQ). Then, you may spell out the name and if they are really interested, they can google it.