Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I don't know what to do anymore

Absolutely. And mountainmom, I think Mum3 and I both felt from reading your earlier posts that you have possibly got more 2E going on than you have diagnoses for.

In your shoes, I would probably ask the school district to evaluate, but also pursue private diagnostic work in parallel with that, so that you get reliable answers from a private professional that can then be applied to the conversation about appropriate education.

I am not against HSing 2Es, btw, I just don't think it is always the clear right choice. In any case, better to know what you are dealing with in order to consider how to proceed.

DeeDee

Haven't read all the responses yet, I was just contemplating about the possibility of dd being also LD and I really don't think that is it. She is super lazy and it isn't just limited to school work/learning. For instance, she absolutely hates cleaning. If you were to ask her to go get something for you, something as simple as a roll of toilet paper, it's as if you're asking her to climb Mt. Everest. I truly feel it is just her personality. Unless it benefits or interests her she just plain doesn't want to do it.

I think it boils down to her just wanting to stay home and be a kid and play. I can say that the first 2 weeks (prior to yesterday) I did see she had a renewed interest in wanting to do projects/research. She had that idea for the non-fiction books she wanted to share with her teacher, she wanted to do research on Native Americans and write about it. So maybe it just is a mismatch of what she wants out of school and learning vs. what is required and expected of her.

We started her in Kumon math recently for enrichment and she is already 6 months above grade level and moving up levels at a tremendous speed. She was doing double-digit addition problems in her head, completing 100 problems in under 20 minutes. Kumon motivates her b/c she earns tickets, ice cream, parties, trophies, etc... This just doesn't seem to fit the profile of a kid who struggles with math.

Oh-- and choosing to homeschool does not necessarily mean walking away from needed supports and services through the district. They're still obligated by child-find to do evaluations and offer appropriate interventions.

I think this link is relevant to what DeeDee and mum2three were referring to:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10167.aspx

Off to do some reading, and also reading the previous posts. Thank you!

All of these things you've listed would have me *very* strongly suspecting 2e - especially since you're seeing behavioral symptoms such as not wanting to go to school etc. You mention not knowing whether or not her underachievement is on purpose or not - with a significant difference in scores on the WISC and a family history of dyslexia/etc - I'd soooo want to err for now on the side of assuming it's a 2e challenge, and get testing to help better understand what is potentially impacting her academics.


While I agree with HK that homeschooling does provide lots of opportunity for socialization experiences, the kids I've known who struggle with social challenges seem to have had good opportunities within school that they wouldn't have been able to access through homeschooling (unless they were able to qualify for district-provided services, which isn't as easy to do in our area as it is to do when enrolled in one of our neighborhood public schools). It's not that our district isn't following IDEA, but more the situation where children who don't outright qualify for services based on very rigid guidelines sometimes are able to receive those services at school because a teacher sees a need and helps advocate for it and because the sped staff is in place at school. Even things like when a teacher sees a need for a student who isn't placed in sped but just needs to brainstorm a solution to a small issue, they have the sped staff available to bounce ideas around with. When your child is in a b&m school, you also have multiple "eyes" seeing your child, not just your own lens. That can be beyond frustrating, but it can also be helpful to have that outside opinion.

I am also not at all against homeschooling - just see some potential advantages to a b&m school with good resources when a child is having this type of challenge.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Saw this after I posted my initial reply. FWIW, I could have said the very same things about my dysgraphic ds when he was younger and refusing to do homework, refusing to write in class etc. His teacher absolutely thought he was lazy. At home he refused to do very simple chores. He was very slow to move when he had to transition from one thing to the next. I will never forget the fabulous tantrums he used to throw when we told him it was time to put on his coat to go to ski lessons. We always thought he just didn't want to ski! And we were sooo missing what was really going on. All that refusal to do work, all those things that looked like being lazy, all that not wanting to do chores. He wasn't lazy - he has a disability. Not something obvious at all, but something that it took a neuropsych to tease out. In our ds' case, the challenge is "Developmental Coordination Disorder" - and that's what is at the root of his dysgraphia. It impacts him at school in handwriting (dysgraphia) but it also impacts his daily life at home. The tantrums over being asked to put on his coat when he was young were because the motor control required to put on a coat was actually quite difficult for him - but as parents we had *no clue*. And that same challenge was related to much of the other behaviors that looked like lack of motivation or laziness.

Re the success at Kumon - kids with LDs also have strengths - sometimes amazing strengths, especially 2e kids. My ds could *not* tie his shoes until he was in 4th grade (and he also forgot how to tie them later on again), and he can't rely on handwriting at all to show his knowledge - but, based on what I've seen my older dd work on at Kumon, he could have easily aced the same Kumon work your dd has. The key is looking at each academic situation and the skills required is important before drawing conclusions that strength in one specific area means no LD in another, and this means not just intellectual skills, but how is information communicated to your child and how do they have to respond to show their knowledge etc).

LDs are not easy to tease out - I would just really really be cautious that with a family history of LD and the other things you've noted here, it seems like there is good reason to at least look into testing to rule them out - just to be sure.

Best wishes,

polarbear