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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,777
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I keep asking why some kids do an hour of afterschool tutoring to "keep up with the Jonses" and go to Yale, and some kids do the same extra hours every day and can't get caught up to grade level. I do understand that there are levels of giftedness. I find it hard to believe that most kids are that dumb that they can't be taught. Kids are sponges. I don't want to disparage but I do want to know the truth. Is it somewhere between extra hours for tutoring if you teach less effectively (two of my family members have mentioned that, not my idea). Teachers are tied to the curriculum and the same guys that sell the textbooks sell the tests. People whose families are teachers have told me the teachers hands are tied as to doing what they're told instead of doing what works. And of course there are levels of cognitive abilities, parental expectations and involvement. It just does not make sense to me that there are first graders who can not read after three years of school and extra hours of afterschool tutoring by professionals when there are video games that get the job done in less time. It makes it confusing to know what is right. Do kids go to school to learn! Don't the books work? Do teachers really have their hands tied, and why? What's wrong with this picture- oh yeah, people don't want to learn and don't want their kids learning anything either. That's not sarcasm, parents really do seem more worried about social development than education at school. They admit to holding their kids back as their opinion of the best choice. I think the majority want the school staff to be social directors more than educators. I'm not sure wether that mindset started from the teachers or the parents, but they seem to agree about it now.
Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar
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Joined: Jul 2010
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It just makes me questionthe future of education. Which is better, appropriate education or brick and morter schools with class participation. It seems like a hybrid with both self paced internet classes but in a school setting. Maybe.
Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
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because the lack of autonomy coupled with the apparent stupidity of those making curriculum decisions does nothing but chew up the good ones and spit them out. Indeed. And so, we have a broken system in which no good teacher would want to remain, no sensible person would enter the profession to begin with, yet the solution is to fire the bad ones. This leaves us with mediocre teachers, working within a system, which, thanks to NCLB and the testing culture it has produced, incentivizes mediocrity.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 741
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I've read that one before and what really stuck with me was the comment about turning to the student and asking, "Did you do that?". How demeaning for a teacher! A person in authority who is, in their presence, being asked by a child if their account of an event happened or not. Kids lie to get out of trouble. (This is not apropos in accusations of abuse, of course.) You know I read that and had a completely different thought pattern. My wife is a teacher of 29 years for MS & HS. My first thought pattern was wondering what the teacher would get so upset about if a parent did that? Why would one immediately assume that the question assumes the teacher is lying? How many times have any of us, knowing full well the answer asked our children, "Did you do X?" simply to confront them and have them admit guilt as part of holding them accountable? If a teacher immediately takes offense / becomes defensive in this scenario, then they've got confidence problems and aren't thinking past the end of their nose. I know my kids feel that the worst punishment they can get is when I've confronted them and they see the deep disappointment in my eyes and perhaps get that verbal confirmation, "I'm really disappointed in your actions, you're a better person than that, so SHOW me that's true." I will, however, always discuss the issue with them and hear their side of the story before I make that judgement, to do otherwise is treating them with less respect than I do the teacher. I've raised my sons, I've lived with them for 15 and 19 years respectively, I know them like the back of my hand, yes, I'm going to treat them with as much respect and trust as I do the teacher and I'm going to question both my child and the teacher, their actions, their motives, and how they plan to move forward from this point. I hold myself accountable, I hold my kids accountable, and I'll hold a teacher accountable but not without getting to the bottom of things. There are precious few people who's word I take at face value simply because of a position they hold or a family status. Someone who I've met a couple of times and who's been involved in my child's life for less than 100 hrs. isn't one of them. Thank you, Old Dad. Your words are wise. I don't think I made myself clear. My problem with a parent asking a child in front of the teacher if they did what the teacher is accusing them of is because I think it's disrespectful of the teacher's authority in the child's eyes. Of course a parent shouldn't just take the word of the teacher, but should ask the child (in private) for their account of the incident in question. But to do so in front of the teacher using, "Did you do that?" type sentences isn't the way to go about it, imo. I would want to ask the teacher for some privacy with my child to speak with them before continuing with the conference. A teacher who thinks a parent should blindly accept their rendition of events without asking their child what happened (in private) should be regarded with caution, certainly. Oh, and I realized I made a mistake in my original post. Instead of: "A person in authority who is, in their presence, being asked by a child if their account of an event happened or not.", I meant to say, "A person in authority who is, in the presence of the child having their account questioned by asking the child if they did it or not. * *frustrated at my poor communication skills here!
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Joined: Feb 2012
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A better question, which I think doesn't require privacy to ask, is "OK, you heard what Teacher X said about what you did. Do you have anything else you want to tell me about what happened?" My kids, at least, would not hesitate to get their version of events on the record, but it doesn't disrespect the teacher to get both sides of the story (or at least it shouldn't).
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Jul 2012
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Thank you, Old Dad. Your words are wise.
I don't think I made myself clear. My problem with a parent asking a child in front of the teacher if they did what the teacher is accusing them of is because I think it's disrespectful of the teacher's authority in the child's eyes. Of course a parent shouldn't just take the word of the teacher, but should ask the child (in private) for their account of the incident in question. But to do so in front of the teacher using, "Did you do that?" type sentences isn't the way to go about it, imo. I would want to ask the teacher for some privacy with my child to speak with them before continuing with the conference. Of course we all have our different manner of going about things and we're all entitled to them. If my child is accused in front of the teacher and I, then I feel it appropriate for my child to respond in front of the teacher and I. If the teacher sends me a personal e-mail / phone call, then I'll question my child in private.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 741
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I understand. I'm not comfortable questioning my child in front of anyone.
I should say, I'm not comfortable putting my child on the spot in front of anyone!
Last edited by Ametrine; 06/19/13 12:00 PM. Reason: clarification
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