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DS4 missed the school cutoff and Kindergarten is a no-go.

Some comments from the school are:

• His lack of motivation – handwriting
• Sloppy work – handwriting
• Immaturity – refuse to talk when being asked to

They believe another year of preschool would help.

I am not sure how much of it is his age vs personality/task. He could sit there for hours to build to a brand-new Lego, which counters #1 & #2.

Any suggestions on how to work on some of these? I am trying to be more proactive while waiting it out.

Hellobaby - paying attention to and working hard at something fun (new lefo set, good book) is inteinsicly rewarding. It takes a certain level of executive function to choose to do something that is not inteinsicly rewarding (handwriting is a common issue), and school is very dependanr on those skills.

I feel for you. DS4.9 made the cut off by 2 weeks and only because he was born early! I cannot imagine him being in preschool another year. He does have a very good motivation but handwriting is / will be an issue. It's something we'll be addressing in Occupational therapy over the summer. I do worry a bit about probably having the youngest kid in class but we'll see if that ever becomes an issue or not.

I wonder how they think, if he's not mature enough to handle repetative, slow paced education this year, how's he going to mature extra quickly to handle a repeat of the repetative next year? Wouldn't that take even more maturity? At least that's what I'm thinking about the teachers telling me the same thing about my kid. They said, "He'll be more mature next year and we'll try again later." (about putting an advanced pre-kinder kid into kindergarten language arts this year).

Executive function did factor in, his is age appropriate, while his education is a few years ahead. Most little kids wouldn't choose to do schoolwork, but that's why we have teachers, right? I know my kid is immature, but J don't agree with the plan to send him to school and then they'll educate him after he matures. He may as well stay home until he matures, then.

I don't know the answers, though, but I trust it's fine to bring him home. I trust it's fine to send him to school, too, it's all a matter of taste. As the old lady said who kissed the cow, it's all a matter of taste. My kid can follow the directions to bake brownies from a box, I have a little garden started, we have shelves full of boardgames, we have arts and crafts. Educationally, I'd guess he'd do fine on a second grade level with a good tutor, like yours truly. We're calling the homeschool "Mayhem University Prep Oak Grove Superhero Kid School". My friend says I'm brave to try homeschooling, but I just think I'm lucky.

I don't know if you want to hear what I think, since it lead to me homeschooling (I was predisposed anyway). Teachers should teach gifted kids the things they can not do. You should expect the teacher to teach your kid handwriting. That's how most kids learn, by having people teach them. I expected the teachers to teach my kid how to "do school", since academically they had nothing to offer from day 1. Instead they taught him he could get out of doing his work at school and it was ok.

Which leads to #2. They don't start focusing on academics until third grade, when the testing begins. Well, I've read the articles on "learned underachievement" and believe that the ages between kindergarten and third grade are formative and the pace of learning then actually matters.

And #3 is really back where I started. Asynchronisity means that (debatable opinion) gifted kids need to be educated with a knowledge bank before their maturity kicks in. I know my kid is immature, he's five years old. It's normal. I read here that highly gifted kids brain scans show the executive function center matures late like adhd kids. Besides, what they're calling him too immature to do is "write a row of 7s across the paper before the timer goes off". What I have him do is copy a sentence and then narrate a book report to me orally. I think by the end of the year he will write the book reports independantly. Wouldn't it take more maturity as that gap widens? I don't think it's going to be next year.

I've decided he's not mature enough to get up and get ready for school either, so we'll try again later. Well, that's putting it snarky. Maybe he got his asynchronous maturity naturally. Ain't Skeered

Now I wonder if the $130 something Kindergarten registration fee wasn't just a waste of money and maybe we should had gone straight to homeschooling! We'll end up there anyways!

La Texican - I think it's really trick to get asynchronous kids through early primary school. School DOES need them have have executive function skills and most kids learn those skills while synchronously learning material that is not boring them out of their brains. What do you do with a kid that IS immature, needs more academically but isn't mature enough to do it the way that school works. It's really frustrating for you as a parent and for the child but it's frustrating for school too.

I know some 4yr olds that are WAY ready for school academically, well behaved for their parents (mostly) and really just AREN'T ready to be at school in all respects other than academically, and those other aspects prevent the academics from working. And then I know kids who are well ready at 4 and may be worse off if they start later... It's so, so hard.

My first child should have been held back a year, my 2nd is skipped once and probably would be better off with another, my 3rd might be my most gifted and might be one of those kids who is fine being very gifted and going through lock step... It's a bit young to tell.

I would say I think if I were to send him to school again I would totally leave the school problems to the school and just be mom, trusting that many gifted kids who have gone to school just fine over the the last hundred years or two. Really. I keep reading advocacy stories, so I can learn. It looks like it's best to leave it up to the teachers how they're going to do school, and just step up as a mom if something's negatively affecting your kid.

In your case the teacher can't teach him how she wants him writing, but they already worked on it all day in school, kwim? Obviously tell them to do their homework or ground them if there's a bad note from the teacher. Save the (positive) hothousing for when he's trying to qualify for a class or something.

I don't think u have to homeschool, I don't even think I have to homeschool. I'm just greedy with my kids, I want to teach them. I taught so many kids when I was a kid, and these are my kids.

But, really, the everyday problems at school (like normal kid immaturity) need to stay at school so you can have a homelife. My mom even told me this year you can ground them if there's a bad note, but really if he's not listening to the teacher at school the appropriate discipline needs to happen while he's at school. A kid that young just doesn't think, "I better not do this or I'll get in trouble at home." They think, "This is fun & I won't get in trouble until I get home." The teacher should have some consequences there, but if they're not very effective, then they need to come up with something else, not bring it home.

That's my confusion comes in.

DS is in the same boat as La Texican's son - age appropriate executive function while way ahead in academic. DS loves to learn.

I am curious if enthusiastic in doing homework is part of Kindergarten readiness list?

BTW, I have come to terms that Kindergarten in the fall is off the table for DS.

Is there anyway he could do a play based preschool next year? One that also let him flourish in the things he loves? My ds loved to play at that age and LOVED his preschool. His teacher were awesome! They loved ds and let him do special things like read to the class, teach Spanish to the class, give his special vocabulary words and puzzles to work on each week. It was a very science based class- with experiments and lots of questions. It really was perfect for him. Unfortunately, kindergarten was awful- lots of worksheets, book making- handwriting, and being quiet. Honestly, glad that's over.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Keep us posted!

Hi. Just to let you know, we actually held our very gifted son back from starting K since he had a summer birthday. Although very advanced intellectually, some of his focus was on what he loved - building, creating things, having time to play with what he enjoyed. He would have been miserable having to tolerate the rigidity of public school K classes. He also had fine motor skills issues that would have made it difficult for him.

Even when he eventually went to K, he cried about the lack of play time - wanted me to call the teacher and demand that she change this!

We have NEVER regretted his starting late. He was always a little bit older than his peers, but he subject accelerated, took college classes in high school, did a lot of extracurriculars. Being older helped with his social immaturity, and if he had started on time, the classes STILL would have been too boring for him.

You will still have to advocate regardless of when your child starts school.