Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Not sure what to do next....

Aww, hugs to you and your little boy. It sounds like he felt bad about his meltdown and is trying to find it within himself to conform.....so good that you talked to the principal.

How many times have we all heard, "Oh, they usually level out by the third or fourth grade." Why do you think they level out? It's because they are forced to conform is my guess. It's so good to hear that you want more for your child than that. He sounds like a sweetheart.

Good luck with everything.

Martie

Debbie, I think you're a wonderful mom for listening to him and taking him home instead of forcing him to stay at school. And it's okay that he picked an easy book to read at home--not surprising, actually. He was probably exhausted from all the emotions of the morning and not in the frame of mind to tackle something more challenging. Sounds like he needed something familiar and comforting in that moment.

With DD6, there are times I see her really push herself and go for the challenge and am amazed at what she does... and other times when she is just "acting her age" and/or is tired, whiny, hungry and therefore doesn't have the physical and mental energy to do the harder stuff. It's all okay.

It's great that you talked to the principal. I'm sure you will get it sorted out.

Love,
GG

Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm at work now, but had to check to see if anyone had time to offer up some of those! Just what I needed. Thanks guys!

I wasn't home when son picked out the easy book. I had run the 2 year old to daycare. Who cried and had to be pulled off my leg <sigh>. It was my husband who had that exchange with son while I was gone. Had I been there, I would have said, fine, lets read this one then get another. Although I was actually thinking we'd clean up his room a little before doing any "academics." My husband takes a different approach with him and son responds quite differently with dad. Typical I suppose of any kid. But I hadn't really thought about how he might have picked something he really liked (the one he chose used to be a read over and over book)that would have been relaxing and enjoyable. After his emotional meltdown, that makes perfect sense.

It is hard to know how much of his "I don't want to do that homework" is truly boredom and how much is just wanting to do other things. But then I think the other things he wants to do are generally more cognitively stimulating. Even the cartoons he likes are more stimulating than the math homework he brings home! How do you sort out if it is just manipulation to get out of doing anything he doesn't want to do?

This is ironic, because I am always telling parents of kids with SI disorder that little kids this age aren't typically trying to manipulate in the bad sense of the word. I always see behavior as the child trying to meet their own needs that they cannot articulate. Isn't it odd that I am having a hard time realizing that with my own son? I suppose it is because these are needs that I've not dealt with before. Unlike kids with SI problems, I really don't understand my own son's needs. They aren't SI related. I really need to work harder to apply what I know as an OT to my own son.

Thanks for sharing and the insight you've provided. Helpful as always. Now off to do some "real" work.

Dear Debbie (and all),

I find it's hard to know what to do for young, very bright kids. They have remarkable ability and enthusiasm, and finding a teacher who will keep putting new work in front of them is key. But also one who understands that they're little kids with little-kid meltdowns and need for nurturing, too. I think even older kids like to have moments of review/regression (reading lower level books, checking out lower level math problems their little brothers are working on, etc.) It's ok.

Trinity has used the word "readiness" in lieu of grade levels, which I love. Still, they're so little and need a little different technique than others who are "ready" at older ages. I do admire those who have the stamina for homeschooling and know I'd drive myself (and my kids) crazy if I tried it. I watch some moms who are calm and patient--I think I'm the high intensity variety. It's so scary to me to step back and let them learn with their classes and get bored (which I seem to have to do more as they get into middle school).

My youngest son (5) is in day two of a full-time gifted program in the public school, grades K-2. There are 7 kids and they're being assessed to be able to work at their own levels in reading, math, and spelling. Science and social studies will be together and art, music, and Spanish are with a bigger group including grades 3-5 (I think it's a total of 15 kids. I took him out of regular first grade where he was thriving to do this, and hopefully it will better meet his needs in the long run. I feel very lucky to have this program available to us.

Some people have expressed wanting to learn more about Homeschooling gifted and very gifted children. I asked my homeschool contacts about a reccomended resource, and was pointed to


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hs2coll/

Best Wishes to all who venture along this path!
Trinity