Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional 'Rotten Egg'

Totally ridiculous. Dd6's school has >600 student, ds9 1200 or so. Parents are encouraged to volunteer, to come and eat lunch with their kids, etc. I think there would be a major revolt if a principal tried to institute a rule that parents could not have access to the building. Even with greater security etc. there are ways to make it work. Totally a school culture thing and it sounds like the principal is crazy. How do you get to be a principal never having been a classroom teacher? That is just unbelievable to me.

Maybe it's time to reconsider your school choice. You sad that you're staying at a school that's not good for your daughter in order to get special ed. services. But from what I've read in your messages, she isn't getting the services she needs, resulting in you having to file complaints with the board of education, go to meetings where the principal behaves unprofessionally, etc. So you're struggling a lot, yet getting nowhere. I'm wondering, why are you continuing to fight this battle? I realize that the situation may be more complex than what you've described.


Personally, if this was my child, I'd be asking if her current school would ever be able to meet this need. What is more important? Getting (partial) services through the district or your daughter's other needs? How damaging is the rotten-egg stuff you've described? Does she laugh it off or ignore it, or is it really hurting her? How often does it occur? Etc.

There are other ways to get services apart from through a school district (e.g. your pediatrician may have some recommendations). Will your insurance plan pay for OT and speech therapy, for example?

JMO.

Yes Val we are done - I can't imagine a scenario in which DD would be back at this school in the fall. After the January meeting the superintendent agreed to place her in a different elementary school in the district for next fall. Basically admitting that this placement is not working. Another elementary school in the district probably wouldn't work at this point either which is why we are seeking out of district placement.

Why haven't we done this ourselves? Because we would be looking at many tens of thousands of dollars in annual out of pocket expenses. Not very realistic to expect a typical family to be able to afford that. And that would be in addition to the substantial sum we pay in annual school taxes. With the original decision not to place her at the lovely little private (LLP) we were told she would get no services from either our home district or the district in which LLC is located. Orton-Gillingham tutoring alone would have been almost $10k over and above LLC's tuition. We had been doing OT and PT privately - hundreds of dollars co-pays each month all the while being told that she really needed to have the services in school - the clinic was not really equipped to meet the school related challenges. We are doing outside counseling for the anxiety at our own expense. The clincher for not going with LLC was that we didn't know what the extent was going to be for testing and Assistive Technology to get up to speed. Everything done in house at the public would have been more additional out of pocket expense. They also paid for the neuropsych eval, psych eval and assistive technology eval. All of that would have also been at our expense if we pulled her out of the public school system earlier.

Yes I think it is crazy that we have had to send our DD to such a poor school environment just to get the testing done and figure out what services would be needed. Now, almost 2 years in, we are able to see just what needs to be provided. The 2E school we have requested placement at is fully equipped to meet all these needs and will probably cost less than what the district is currently paying for all the services they are providing. It will FOR SURE be a healthier environment.

As I've said before DH and I started this journey by paying for everything ourselves. Once the principal started with the inappropriate behavior, and the district sat by and allowed it, our position became one of holding them responsible for all of it. Personally I doubt DD would need a full time para if the school environment was supportive and nurturing and they had provided the assistive technology in a timely manner. I think a teacher who *gets it* would have been able to properly differentiate in the classroom more so that DD would not need as much pull out service. I think if they had not allowed the principal to antagonize both DD's anxiety and her parents things would have been going along much more smoothly. All they need is 2 kids a year to be placed OOD because of the environment this principal creates and they could cover her salary. If this is how they choose to spend their money I cannot stop them.

I have to say it drives me batty that so many other parents complain about this principal and the policies in the school but then do nothing about it. They all fear retaliation against their kids (and from our experience I believe it is sadly a justifiable fear...). The superintendent says she has only had 2-3 parents bring her complaints about this principal. (Hard to believe since I have had 3 other parents look me in the eye and say "Well then I guess I must be one of the 3" and I have only been at this school for a year and a half...) Of course it took me 7 months and a complaint to the State Dept of Ed to get an appointment with her, and I am no shrinking violet. A few months ago a group of parents actually contacted the local television news about their displeasure about one of her most absurd policies. Hard to believe parents would contact the news media but not the superintendent but who knows...

I read a lot of the messages on this forum and get so disgusted and disappointed with what people have to put up with. It stinks. I've had my share of frustations with schools (though a far cry from what a lot of people here report), and there have been situations where I've just given up because I knew that the superintendent, principal, or teacher simply didn't care.

I'm so sorry for your situation and hope that your DD will be able to attend the 2E school this fall. In the meantime, count days. It helps.

Just heard from DSS that principal is planning to address the "rotten egg" issue with phys ed teacher because "she was not happy about the words that were used."

This is going to be interesting. I can't wait to see in what way this becomes DD's fault...

so they find the behavior of the teacher perfectly normal ... just the choice of words is inappropriate? Geez!

In the meantime, count days. It helps.

{{hugs}} Seriously true, Val's statement.

Pemberley, hugs to you and your dd. this is infuriating. May next school year be everything you can dream of.