Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What Does Your Child Say to Strangers?

No, actually, that seemed to go over better than anything else she's tried (but she's only said it once to my knowledge). If they want to know how old she is, the "gifted" is irrelevant, but if they want to know what she's doing in school, the "gifted" is important. The person she was talking to (and I honestly can't remember who it was) just seemed to take it as a matter-of-fact clarification.

Thanks for that insight. Perhaps being forthright about the "label" of GT in situations like that will help our son later on.

DS8 now emphatically states that "kids are smarter than adults!" He insists that he's smarter than his (non-gifted) Dad.

This makes me happy, actually, given the fact that ADHD is often accompanied by low self esteem. Not a problem with that kid

We don't have that problem as my DS14 never chats with strangers. It takes him a while to warm up to anyone. We still have to push to get him to order his own meal at a restaurant.

Although I do have a few priceless memories of the preschool years. Like the time we were at the zoo looking at the apes, when a family came by and exclaimed how cute the monkeys were. The kid actually piped up that they were apes NOT monkeys because they didn't have tails.

I may be in the minority here but I tend more to the I'm so glad he has positive self-esteem side. So what if your little child responds to "You're really smart!" with "I am!". There is a difference in my mind in a young child responding with information to a question versus going on and on. I really don't want to be another voice telling him that his gift is something not to share. His differences are often glaring just opening his mouth which is why the questions usually start to begin with. I see his responses as age appropriate and try to treat them that way.

Aside from any disorders affecting social awareness,I believe that most kids start tempering this behavior on their own around 8 or so. If you have a pre-teen still not getting it then that would get my attention. My child who is definitely 2e ought to feel good and proud of the things that are unique about him. It is special to be who they are.

At the moment DS's responses tend to make me laugh, they are very blunt. The most typical comment he'll get is something along the lines of "Wow, you are so smart!" to which he replies "I know" and continues doing whatever he was doing. LoL.

Believing in his own abilities is great, but not believing in his parents' abilities... not so much. An 8yo who is convinced his parents aren't very bright is likely to have anxiety issues if he thinks they're not capable of making good decisions that keep him safe and well cared for. He may perceive problems and be unable to be convinced when you tell him there's no reason to worry. So in your place, I wouldn't hold back from showing off a little.

I think you've gotten some great advice- so I don't have too much to add. But in our family I'd likely just try to keep the message simple. I probably would have said something along the lines of "when a stranger gives you a compliment, it is most polite to respond with a simple thank you." I've found that the more simple I keep it (no lengthy discussions of self-esteem or why his response was less than ideal) the more likely my literal kid is to get it right away and not start having an internal "was I bad?" dialogue with himself. YMMV.

ginaW~
that is exactly what I was going to add! a simple "thank you"

This was an interesting thread to read... learning how to navigate social situations is what we are always working on.

but a stranger is a stranger is a stranger--- no matter WHAT they are asking/commenting on, and as a result DS6 has been taught to IGNORE strangers and to not respond. ie On a playground, he would just not acknowledge and it would appear probably to the person DS didn't hear...

However, in simple matter of a waitress serving us food etc,(yes, a stranger- but he is with us etc)~ he typically acknowledges with a sweet smile and/or thank you. done.

No advice to offer as I have a kid (DD3.5) who comes across as a complete goof ball in front of strangers and even company we know. Unless anyone asked her something that would clearly indicate that she knows way more than her age peers, you would meet a kid who is jumping off couches, running around in circles shouting like a maniac or telling poop jokes.