Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how do you ask for the right teacher for your kid?

As I continually advocate, I am trying to plan for next year. Is it ok to email your request for the best fit teacher? Do I have to ask for another meeting? I am starting to feel like THAT parent. It's not a good feeling. I am trying hard to keep my communication with school minimal while trying to get what my child needs. How do you ask for ththe right teacher? And how to I put aside my concerns that I look like a pushy parent?

As my son recently told me, "I love school. It's one really long playdate. I wonder what grade you start to do work?"

I know what you mean about not wanting to be THAT parent. I have already started to feel like "THAT parent," but without my advocacy, things were starting to go downhill for both of my sons, and they are only in K. I had to step in and request testing from the GT advocate, even though they usually don't do testing until late first grade. One teacher seemed to appreciate that I was trying to help my son, and the other definitely did not, but I had to do what was best for my sons, not what would make the teachers like me.

This is our first year dealing with an elementary school, so I am certainly not an expert. Our school has a rule strictly prohibiting requests for particular teachers - they go so far as to say that they requests WILL NOT be passed along to the team doing student placement. However, they do allow letters to the principal if "the student has needs that may not be addressed by the normal process." We requested an GT evaluation for our twins in Feb, and they just did the testing yesterday, but I am hoping that we get the results in time for me to send a letter/request that the results be taken into account.

One K teacher has been giving one son "harder" worksheets, which has been great (although they are still too easy), but has told us that she cannot advocate for him in class placement because "they don't listen to to the teachers", while the other son's teacher doesn't offer that son differentiated worksheets, but said she would advocate for that son to get a teacher who could offer differentiated work next year.

At the very least, I would suggest contacting the school to request a teacher with certain qualities, but not naming one specific teacher.

I can't say we've had experience with this yet, but if you get on well with his current teacher I'd start there. Ask her if there's a specific teacher she'd want for him next year, and if there is a process for you to request that teacher. I know where I live (TX) you can put in a preference, or formal request, but the best way to get a specific teacher is to let the current teacher know what you want...

ETA: If he's not being challenged at all, I doubt a specific teacher is really going to change much. You need to get him into a G&T program, or find out how to get differentiation or advancement setup for him.

To reiterate what MoN advised - you really need to know your school climate and principal's temperament. At our school it is established fact that if you request a teacher by name you are guaranteed NOT to get that teacher. If you ask to avoid a teacher by name you are guaranteed that your child WILL be assigned that teacher. Yeah - makes you feel all warm and fuzzy - huh?

If you identify a teacher you think would be good it is suggested here that you describe their teaching style or classroom environment. i.e. DD had a great, nurturing first grade teacher who used a developmental approach in her classroom. She brought her guitar to school and is married to the local park ranger. Parents are advised to say something like "My child does well with positive reinforcement and needs a warm nurturing environment. (S)he loves nature and music and would do well in a classroom that integrates these things into the curriculum."

I've requested teachers in a couple of ways. At ds6's school we went in and asked for math acceleration and a specific teacher. The red carpet was rolled out.
Last year with dd8 we asked for a specific classmate who had requested a certain teacher. She has been with this teacher for 2 years now and next year will move on to another. For next year I mentioned it to the teacher we are hoping she will land with that we are hoping for her.
We've requested a type of teacher. Right before dd went to the TAG school we wrote a simple request asking that dd be placed with a teacher who can differentiate for students, who would be able to challenge dd, and who was gentle and nurturing. No idea what might have happened with that request as we didn't stay in the same school.
There is also a lot to be said for volunteering at the school. I volunteer in my spare time because I love it but the week before our meeting at ds' school I had run a fundraiser that made enough money to buy 2 classrooms all of the technology they needed for next year. I think that probably had a bit to do with how accommodating our principal was. She's a good person and a real advocate for children but I think my efforts didn't go unnoticed.

All the parents at our school got a form to fill out about the ideal situation for our kid in the next year. It must've said ten times to not mention a particular teacher by name.

If I could pick only one trait to specify, it would be whether your kid works better with a flexible/creative teacher or better with a strict teacher with well-defined rules.

Similar to Zen Scanner, all the parents at our school got a form to fill out as well. I was wondering if it is just done as a matter of getting the paperwork complete -- in other words, I am not sure how seriously the administration takes the parent's input.

Please don't throw me in that briar patch, B'rer Fox!

Glad I wasn't the only subversive one thinking "Wellllll... when you put it like THAT..."



We've always had good luck asking for teachers with "very high expectations and a fundamentally Socratic philosophy" for our DD. We've taken to explaining that for her, the teaching/learning environment is about 99% relationship-based, and about 1% subject/material based. She'll do ANYTHING-- superhuman things-- for a teacher she loves and respects. And nothing at all for one that she is disgusted by. Well, not "nothing" per se. She does spend time undermining the person, and in subtly subverting her classmates.

Luckily, the school administrators know me at this point. I may be "that parent" but I'm doing some of this in THEIR best interests, too. DD is a formidable enemy for a teacher, and the wisest of them know it.

What I like about this board is that when I have a bright idea for a reply I won't have to type it if I wait for 30 more minutes. Plus it is usually worded better anyway...