Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Things are getting very bad

So, the Principal has stated that I am not to communicate with any of my DS's teachers ever. I am to email him and him only if I have any questions or concerns. This was in response to my discovering that DS was not given his scribing accommodations in his special areas class and I emailed the the teacher cc'ing principal and very politely said I would like to be provided with all of DS's work for the class.


Furthermore, the whole offer of vision therapy turned out to be a trap. We discussed Ds's vision condition and vision needs back in September during our first IEP meeting. Thereafter, assistant Special Ed director got a doctor chosen by the school district (because the school district has used him in the past to provide vision therapy to students for another student needing vision therapy) approved by the school board to evaluate whether DS was in need of vision therapy. Dr. evaluated DS on November 6, 2012 and found that DS needs vision therapy and recommended at least twenty sessions. Dr. sent a report to the school district recommending that DS receive twenty sessions of vision therapy. The Special Ed Assistant Dir then got school board approval to pay for the sessions for DS. So, the district choose the doctor; the school board approved an evaluation by the doctor of DS specifically to see if he needs vision therapy; then, the doctor, chosen by the district, informed the district that DS does indeed need vision therapy; and, the district obtained approval from the school board to provide the therapy and pay the doctor to provide the therapy.

The result of all of this? We were presented with a "Settlement Agreement and Waiver" that we have to sign in order for DS to get the therapy. The agreement is clearly designed to deprive us and our son of all of the every right provided to us by IDEA, federal, and state law for any claims from the beginning of time, known or unknown, etc., etc., in order for DS to receive the services the school district determined he needs! I could understand if the agreement asked us to perhaps waive holding the district responsible for the quality of the therapy provided by the Dr. in exchange for the therapy. That seems like it would be a reasonable request. But to ask us to waive all of the rights provided to us by IDEA, federal, and state law from the "beginning of time" in order for DS to receive the services the school district determined he needs seems not only preposterous but rather unethical. I want to why this is not simply part of the IEP and I want to know their position in writing b/c verbally they give me the run-around and change the subject and walk away (I consulted a colleague lawyer who specializes in Special Ed law and that is what he wanted me to get from them since it is unclear why they are doing it this way.) I have sent two requests for this info. They refuse to send it and simply say "we'll revise the agreement and discuss it at next IEP meeting." I want to be prepared at the meeting. I am tired of getting hit with stuff that I need to go research and consult with people about and then we need yet another meeting. I think I have a right to know this information.

They are stonewalling me left and right. I think I am going to have to pay a lawyer but the cheapest one I have found so far is my colleague at $250 an hour. There is a lady who comes highly recommended but she is $400 an hour. This is veritable nightmare.

OP - Random thought - are they reading here and getting their backs up even more? It's happened before. I believe a child was in fact summarily asked to leave a school after the school staff read an unhappy post here and took offense (it was not a terrible critical discussion either).

My advice - time for a lawyer or a bulldog of an advocate.

I have a friend who was totally banned from her child's school - not allowed in the building, could not call, could not email. She sold her house and moved to another district where they confirmed everything she had been saying about her son's disabilities. Turned out he had an auditory processing disorder and the first school would not even test him. They were very good at getting rid of "problem parents" by doing exactly this.

I think you will either need to "go legal" to get his needs met here or change schools. I would NOT even consider signing a form like that without input from an attorney specializing in special ed!

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about this! What a nightmare!

Some states have a free Legal Rights Service that helps people with disabilities. They may be able to provide you cheap or free legal help.

You might also put in a phone call to your state's department of education.

Don't sign anything without some kind of professional advice.

DeeDee

I have no idea... But I really have no where else to go. I do not have any indication that they are reading here. But everything I say here I have said to them. I do not know.

I'm very sorry you're having this trouble. Unfortunately I don't have any advice either, except that it does sound like you need a lawyer. I don't understand legally how they can put you in this position (let alone ethically). If you have records of what you've said to them (sorry I can't remember what you've said about that) of course hang onto them/ back them up. Also just a side thought--if it does turn out this is illegal I wonder if some group like the ACLU might be willing to help. I wouldn't have thought of them even a few years ago and don't know if they deal with disability/educational stuff but they have seemed to branch out in recent years and they seem to be good advocates when they do get involved. Best of luck.

Well, it's obviously up to you how you handle this, but personally? I'd change schools. I'm no get down in the trenches gal or a martyr. DS9's last school was INCREDIBLY nice and sweet and said all the right things, but I couldn't get them to actually DO the things DS needed, so we switched schools. I can't be bothered with a fight, I need my son to be in the proper environment as quickly as possible, and changing schools was the only way I saw to make that happen. Thankfully we got into the charter school and didn't have to go broke on private!

Can you negotiate a fixed fee arrangement with the lawyer?

I'm not a fan of hourly billing.

Sorry--my previous post notwithstanding, I really second epoh--if they're acting like this, you and your kid would probably be much better off if you can just switch schools. But it is frustrating if schools are allowed to 'get away' with driving people off like this rather than doing what they are *supposed* to do. But you shouldn't have to be the one to make the sacrifice of fighting unless it is the best thing for you and your family. So sorry you're having to deal with this, and best of luck again.

Oh I told them, very politely - that I would have to be completely out of my mind to sign that waiver and that I will absolutely not sign something like that. I advised them that if we do not come up with an alternative arrangement, I will go the Due Process route in an attempt to get the services rather than sign away all of those rights. I also informed them that I am an attorney and I am also now consulting with a special ed attorney on these issues since it isn't (yet) my area of expertise so don't try putting an agreement like that in front of me again. In response to this and my request that they explain clearly in writing why we can't just make the VT a part of the IEP they merely said (after two written requests for this info and one verbal) that they "would revise the agreement and we'll discuss it at the meeting." I told them I want a draft copy of what they are proposing before the meeting so that I can review it with counsel. No response to that one yet but I am going to have to bring an attorney with me if they do not send me a draft of what they are proposing before the meeting.

I also told the principal that, while I understand and appreciate that he may have personnel issues and concerns, I do not think he can legally tell me or my husband that we can not communicate with our son's teachers. I told him lack of communication is what caused these issues in the first place. I pointed out that we have not communicated with our son's teachers much, but when we have we are always respectful and the communication is always in reference specifically to DS and regarding legitimate concerns. I said that I would be more than happy to copy him on all correspondence and emails with DS's teachers, but I will not stop communicating with my son's teachers about my son. I added that I am sure he (the principal) would welcome involved, supportive and available parents. Open lines of communication between us and teachers can only help DS and, I would add, is indeed imperative for DS's success and I am sure that is what he wants as well. This exchange was cc'd to the Director of Special Ed for the District who is now planning on attending the upcoming meeting. I truly hope she is a reasonable and nice women.

I feel like all the principal is concerned about is his ego and being "right" - every time I come to him with an issue he gets angry and defensive and refuses to believe that whatever we are telling him happened actually happened. I feel like he wants to make us afraid to raise concerns. Then it feels like it becomes a pissing contest of who can 'prove' what happened. Instead of mollifying and soothing the situation over and moving forward, he digs in heels and becomes very adversarial and stuck in "You can't prove that happened, so there!" He makes it all so much worse. It seems like he has completely lost sight that our joint goal should be making sure DS has access to his education. He doesn't have to admit fault to be more like "Okay, we want to do what's best for DS let's see where we can make this better to ensure everything is A-Okay in the future and avoid misunderstandings and issues." Instead he becomes very focused on proving that the concern raised is not a real concern, that DS is lying, etc. For example, The para comments did not happen and now Ds is supposedly lying about the assignments he received in library classroom. Their "defense" is that DS wasn't given a scribe because there was not any writing. However, DS described in detail the writing assignments and what was expected and how much he did on each. But their position is again that DS is lying. I basically told him in the last email that I have to be able to document and raise my concerns with him but that doesn't mean I want to get into these pissing contests with him (I didn't use those exact words LOL). DS has no reason to lie and obviously something in our present arrangement is breaking down, which is bad for all of us. Let's just stop the bickering and move forward by making make sure the accommodations are specific enough and that everyone is properly educated and understands what is expected of them.

I am in tears about switching schools. We specifically moved here for the schools and have paid a colossal amount in taxes (I am talking 12-15 thousand a year alone in school taxes and we paid that for years before having a kid in the district). DS has friends here, etc. Where else do we go? Private? The private schools here are no less than 30,000 per year. We simply can't afford it.

No, I am not giving up that easily. My son deserves to go to the local public school and get a good education just like the rest of the people around here - writing disability or not. And I am not done fighting for that right.

Who do I contact at the State Department of Education? The superintendent of the school district? Someone higher?

Is there another school in the same district he could transfer to? Sometimes you just need a change of scenery, as it were. If that's not an option, then it sounds like you need to fight. I'd start with the local school district - district coordinators, superintendent, school board, and if that doesn't get you what you need, then you move onto the state level.

Okay good plan. We just got the Special Ed Director for the district involved so that would be the district coordinator (I am optimistic about her). She will be at this next meeting. I'll see how it goes with her there and see what she can bring to this situation. Next step will be involving superintendent, I guess. And involving an attorney on this full-time. I just got word they are re-drafting the vision agreement presently and I should have it in enough time to review it with counsel prior to the meeting... so that is looking up.

Despite all of this, DS has had a great year overall and that makes all of what I am going through worth it. When things did start to deteriorate for him in the middle of the year, I was all over it relatively quickly and got it fixed. I have to deal with the fall-out of that (nasty side of principal) but DS is getting what he needs and is happy. He got great grades, he is pretty enthusiastic about school and learning, and has made several friends and seems happy. My fighting is worth it to see that him happy and doing well. I don't care what I have to go through as long as DS is protected and thriving. DS being able to attend school and thrive and be happy gives me the fortitude to keep on fighting to keep it that way. Maybe I will learn enough to start practicing this type of law in the process or become an advocate... hopefully there are a few silver linings in this.

Irena, while I don't have any advice, please know that your family will be in my prayers. What an ordeal!

This. I've actually DONE this, when I had an administrator tell not only us-- but also my child's TEACHER-- that we were to have no further contact that didn't go through him.

My solution was to politely document/document/document and to AVALANCHE him. Oh, and to insist that we use proper honorifics. You know, since he wanted to be all proper and polite and all. (No, it was mostly because it really, really galled him to have to refer to me as "Dr. Howler," and at that point, I simply wanted to annoy him to death and get him to want me to be someone-- ANYONE-- else's problem.)

That administrator was gone the following year, but it was a HELLISH year for my child in the meantime.

Another thought--

in writing, as in, maybe even via certified mail so that you have a CLEAR documentary trail and time stamp-- ask whether or not this "waiver" you've been asked to sign is an indication that they no longer plan to honor requests for a COMPLETE EVALUATION, not limited in scope.

That's the phrase that pays here. (Maybe your IDEA colleague has already told you that, not sure).

I'd also start chewing my way up the food chain by CC:ing my communications-- ALL of them, as noted above-- to this person's boss.

Another option is to get their waiver notarized/signed/witnessed by another attorney after you make appropriate CHANGES to that document. That is, agree to what you agree to, and use a line-item delete for the rest.

Include a specific rebuttal that includes my phrase that pays above. That is, make it clear that you "cannot agree to waive my child's full spectrum of rights to additional evaluation/appropriate services in order to agree to the treatment recommended re: {district physician} on {vision problem}."

I'd also ask them specifically-- in writing, again-- to consult with the feds about this matter in particular. You signing a waiver of your child's rights is in no way a legal substitute for a simple consent to a treatment plan.



Oooo, this makes me mad. They are strong-arming you, and they know it and so do you, and now they are giving you the middle finger over it when you called them on it. Nasty, nasty tactics. As someone else noted, the only way that it gets worse than this is when they bring in the bottom-feeder type attorneys to act as henchmen. Well, that and when the adults involved opt to use the child in question directly as a proxy for their aggression. Been through that. It's ugly. {shudder} Personally, when our administrator told my daughter's teacher (we're in a virtual charter, recall) to quit calling her, that kind of crossed that line for me.

If you have any other schooling options, I might well consider how much worse it will need to get before you exercise them. Keep that information very private, but have the discussion.

As a last resort, you can also reach out to the press. There is likely someone on the newspaper staff where you live who would absolutely love an expose that would detail the kind of bias and discrimination as you've described here. But it can backfire, because any good journalist who is doing their job will interview all sides of the issue. We have a reporter here who has covered similar stories, and it is interesting how the position of the administration has changed once the story hit the press.

MON and HK are full of lovely, wonderful advice. Absolutely do not sign anything, avalanche the principal with "teacher requests" (class party, looking for kid's boots, picking up instead of taking the bus, anything you can think of that you might contact the teacher for, even if you never have), CC the superintendent on every email, and I would add, go to the school board if the superintendent does not get involved very quickly.

If the school board doesn't seem inclined to help, mention (and then follow up with) the state board of education.

Media can be a useful tool in moving mountains, as well. Ha, ABQ just beat me to the punch.

Thanks all for your advice, support and thoughts. I never imagined I would have this trouble. I am really shocked by the principal - I had thought he was such a nice kind man in the beginning of the year. I was so wrong.


So should I get the superintendent by cc'ing him on the recent issues? Or should I wait to see how Special Ed Director is... She's been completely silent despite all of the cc's ... I am told she will be attending the upcoming IEP mtg.

marytheres, I am so sorry things have become so contentious. I am wondering what your advocate has to say about the latest turn of events? I would also second the recommendation to see if you can find a pro-bono legal services office in your area that specifically is set up to serve people with disabilities - we have an office in our area, and I did talk to them when our situation with our school became contentious (as well as participated in a few parent training sessions that they put on). The reason I'd recommend at least looking for such a service and at least talking to them briefly is that chances are good they've been involved in other cases within your school district, and may have a working history that involves either your school or your principal - and they may also be very interested in stepping in and advocating for you.

I also would not ignore the emails - I would do as you've done, respond to each politely. And I wouldn't avalanche communications on the teacher, but I also wouldn't stop them - I would simply move forward and communicate as necessary from your perspective.

I also second the advice to look into a change of schools - even though your ds is happy and has had a good year. You're not having a good year! And your ds is eventually going to see what is going on. A previous poster mentioned the toll that this type of situation can take on a parent personally as well as family, a marriage etc. It's very easy to get so caught up in the fight (both parents and the school) that at some point the issue and focus *become* the fight, and shift away from where they need to be - your ds. That happened in my own advocacy for my ds, but I was so caught up in the personal battles and so determined to "win" that Id didn't realize how much of my energy was spent in advocating. In the meantime, I thought my ds was doing ok (other than the areas he was challenged in)... but when he was in the spring of one of his elementary school years, after we'd won the battle for an IEP and after he was supposed to be getting services... he simply told me he was done. I found out then that he'd been sitting on the sidelines of it all, knowing he needed help, knowing that the school didn't think he needed help (his interpretation), knowing I'd finally gotten an IEP for him, knowing that the teachers weren't implementing the accommodations that he *had* in the IEP, and knowing that he had a piece of paper that said he was supposed to be getting help, knowing he desperately needed that help, and knowing that he wasn't getting it. He internalized all of that for the longest time until he couldn't take it anymore. (And at the same time, he was bored to tears in class not challenged intellectually... hopefully that's not the case for your ds). Anyway, the bottom line is - I should have given up sooner. I won the battle but lost the war. The school ds was in was *the* school I had thought would be perfect for him, the school I thought would be able to differentiate, the school I wanted so to be able to be the school I wanted it to be. And it just wasn't.

What I didn't realize, was how *good* it would feel to be out of there! We did switch schools once our ds told us he wanted to switch, and I was sad about having to switch as well as I had concerns because of all the work I'd put into getting ds' IEP, worried that work would be lost. What I found instead was... when you are at a school where the staff *isn't* contentious, where the teachers are free to simply care about the students, life is *so* much easier. My ds loved his new school, and so did I. I no longer had to go to school to fight, I went to school and teachers listened to what I had to say.

So I don't know. I totally understand that you've planned well and set your family up so that your child can attend the school that you felt at one time was the best fit, and chances are that maybe it is really working out for your ds. I'd just take a moment to think through - is this working for you? Is there a possibility that there's another school your ds could switch to that might be more willing to work with you and not put up walls in every direction? Ask your advocate and your neuropsych and any other private professionals you've worked with - which school do they recommend for your ds?

The other thing I'm curious about - I think your ds has been going to vision therapy already, right? I'm just curious if the intent of the form they gave you was to say you'd agree to no further *vision* services. I still wouldn't sign the form, but I'm guessing that might have been the intent.

Hang in there - I am continually impressed at how well you are handling a very tough situation!

polarbear

I agree with this.

BUT if anyone is being bullied it's me .... It feels like he tries to bully me constantly. I do think he is intentionally trying to bully me.

I think he wants to stop communication between teachers and me because more than once now a teacher has said something that indicated a violation of the iep. He is worried about the liability that comes with the fact that teachers are unknowingly or not realizing that they violating the iEP and then clearly admitting the violations in writing. The answer to that is not stopping communication - it's making sure the teachers are fully educated and having a specific IEP so that everyone knows what they are suppose to be doing to be in compliance.

I totally agree with all of this, and this is not uncommon in my local school district (not the same district marytheres is in).

Thanks Polarbear. My advocate is nice but not she's doesn't get back to me quickly. I have no idea what she thinks yet. I think I may need someone more aggressive and more available than she ... But she is free and to get more I suppose I'll have to pay.


Yes, DS has been going to private VT. I am not sure what their intent was but I have read that there are issues with schools right now misusing these type of agreements to take away parents rights: http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/beware-districts-forcing-settlement-agreements/. I think it's handy way for school districts generally to conveniently deprive (difficult) people of their rights and I think it's been working for them for awhile. Imagine if I signed that agreement. I'd be completely shut down - none of the iep violations would matter... they could do what they want to DS short of criminal stuff and I'd have no way to stop them. How convenient - all for a lousy 20 sessions of vision therapy. I definitely see some nefarious intent there - they are certainly not intending to help any one but themselves with that.

Right-- and to clarify, the "avalanche" technique that I mentioned is really about "you wanted complete control? FINE. But be careful what you ask for..."

By no longer 'asking' the teacher about everyday things... and instead following the absolute LETTER of the directive from the (toxic) administrator...

I mean, when you add it all up, this is potentially a dozen or more e-mails each week, right? And yes, most of them are going to be like gnats circling the administrator's head... but the thing is, s/he TOLD you to do things this way. Totally not your fault; blah-blah-blah, know that you're busy, so apologetic about bothering over this, but...

After all, simply stonewalling you at that point doesn't look good either. Because that becomes SUPER obvious when you have a chain of "look, I sent this on this date... wow, no response... wow, still no response..."

I've only had one administrator attempt to bully me-- and this is the method that I used to make sure that he didn't get what he was after (compliance and less trouble from me).

I also was able to leverage what I *knew* were procedural violations that he admitted to in writing into better cooperation from the following administration, too. MAJOR win, that, and it also demonstrated with a whisper that I'm not the 'bad guy' because I *could* have filed with OCR... and I knew that I could have, but didn't. Show of goodwill. KWIM?


I would never, ever, EVER involve the media in something like this. That's my personal take on things-- it NEVER seems to go to any kind of good place for the family/child at the center of things.

I can tell you what that special ed attorney colleague thinks is the best path for a kid like DS - i.e., a kid who is very bright or gifted with a learning disability like dyslexia or dysgraphia. He says the best result that he sees with these sort of kids is that they got to elementary school to a place like here: http://www.aimpa.org/New/index.shtml (he seems to highly recommend this particular school). He says after a few years in this type of school these type of children go on to fabulously in a regular school say for middle school/ high school. I know of one case where my particular school district had to pay for OOD placement at this school for a child with dyslexia that they failed but from reading the case that poor family went through hell.

I don't know that you are at a point you'd want to go there yet.. but another resource you could turn to is the Office of Civil Rights.... I need to run and don't have time to explain, but I've heard of other families turning to them when their school districts attempted tactics like this. Not turning to them as in full-on legal stage, but calling them up and asking for advice or just bringing the violation to the attention of the office.

more later,

polarbear

I've communicated with a few other families who advocated their way to OOD placements, but it took a huge toll in terms of time, energy and $ - I've often wondered if the saving through the tuition paid by the district as well as the value of the school really was substantial enough to warrant the battle for placement. The school you've linked above looks wonderful.. fwiw, at quick glance, the general things they do with their students in middle school (all I had time to look at) are very similar to the things that are in place as part of the curriculum at my ds' school. It's not a school that is set up for students with disabilities but because they are structured the way they are (integration of technology, curriculum includes specific structure for building organizational skills etc) ds has benefited from the same types of help he might have had at a school for kids with LDs (which we don't have in our area at the moment). It's worked out well - so sometimes it's possible to find solutions that are in-between.

Hang in there!

polar

Yes, you could call OCR-DOE for "technical advice" about your situation.

Or simply tell your district to do so. (Implying, of course, that you are VERY confident that they'll hear "straighten up or you're going to get a spanking.")

Again, I've used the latter strategy successfully.

I agree with this. Does your district have open enrollment ? If they do, maybe it is worth it to check the other schools in the district ?


Maybe not today, but I would definitely call her within 48 hours of the email if you haven't heard anything. Maybe she is super confused about the emails and is not quite sure how to respond ? I try and give people the benefit of doubt; however, if there is no action or only passivity, I would probably start going higher in the chain.

Also, I think I would definitely edit out your location as well as name references to your child. Not sure if your school is reading here or not, but better to edit those out (for the future).

All the very best, and I hope it all works out.

Does anyone know how I could change my username? Or would I have to create an entire new account?

I don't think user names can be changed by us (users). Perhaps the Administrator may be able to do it for you. Else, I would say, create a new account without identifying information and post. I would also not get into too much detail about your son's diagnoses on the new account. People who have been following your posts would understand the underlying challenges.

The administrator can change the display name for you. I know they did that for me when I realized I might not want my name displayed everywhere. I still login with the original name but the display and profile have the "screen" name.

Great thanks so much. I will contact an admin.

Hello - I just sent you a private message. I can get that changed for you.

Thanks,
Mark

Having moderated forums in the past, I have to say you are an excellent moderator,, Mark.

Frequent poster, but using a new name for anonymity purposes. The OCR is currently investigating my daughter's district for issues related to FAPE and discrimination. This was a last ditch effort, and I would only recommend it as a last resort. In our area, Legal Aid wouldn't touch our case because there are no lawyers on staff with SpEd experience; and the state office for disability rights is too busy handling abuse cases. My warning that I would bring in the OCR was effective to a certain extent, but obviously didn't resolve the issue.

An investigation can take from six months to a year. It's been about three months, and recently things have gotten a bit better, imo because they know their feet are in the flames. All that said, our relationship with the school has become extremely adversarial. I find myself questioning their every move/comment, and I hate it. Because of my daughter's age and the nature of the offenses, she is very aware of what's going on, and in the thick of things it added to her anxiety. She is going to a different school in the district next year, but my understanding is that something like this will now follow us throughout her school career in our district, so while I have high hopes for a fresh start, I'm not counting on it. Worst of all, if the OCR finds in the district's favor, we're going to be worse off than where we are currently because they will feel free to rescind the concessions they have already made.

I'm not advising you to not file with the OCR if you feel it's what you need to do, but seriously exhaust your other avenues, and make sure you consider the ramifications. I wish it hadn't become necessary for us. Good luck, and feel free to pm me if you have questions about the process or anything.

The schools in the district are not open enrollment. The other school was where he went last year for kindie (that is where everyone goes for kindie in the area and then they break them up) - where he completely had a breakdown. The school he is at now is smaller and feels more flexible than the other school but they are very close to each other geographically and pretty much do things the same. I do not think it will be any better there and possibly worse. But it's hard to say. He had a lovely teacher there last year but only had a 504, I was new to the whole special needs thing so I am not sure how much of how badly things went there was a result of me not advocating strongly enough and how much was the result of the school. But at least at this school DS is happy - at the other school he really deteriorated. I don't know. I think he really needs to go somewhere like the school I linked above if I take him out, which is $30,000 a year. We have a few of those type of schools in the area - that really cater to kids who "learn differently" and seem excellent but they are all around $30,000 a year.

I guess it comes down to how well the other school would deal with the scribing accommodation. Do all public schools fight so hard against scribing accommodations? The crux of the discord with the current school really is the scribing accommodation. They have been fighting me on that since day 1. They fought me on putting it in the IEP in the first place (fight #1). I get it in, and then they go about not implementing properly in what appears to be attempts to prove he does not need it (fight #2)... and it's just fight after fight about it, i.e., teacher trying to "increase stamina" and prove he doesn't "need a scribe" (fight #2), revising the IEP the first chance they get to basically take out the scribing accommodation (fight #3), paras giving him a hard time for needing it (fight #4), specials teachers not knowing about, understanding or simply choosing not to implement it (fight #5), etc.

Then we have the random issues/violations of DS having an allergic reaction at the school and the nurse lost his epi-pen and benedryl (she found it a few days later - it had fallen behind something). And a para humiliating DS in the car line with bullhorn that he is "too slow" and why can't he "move his legs"... And of course the crazy settlement agreement/waiver for a needed therapy service. However the ongoing tension is always about he scribing and it is the one accommodation that DS REALLY REALLY needs. I don't understand why they can not seem to realize if they take that away they will have a world of trouble on their hands... Are behavioral shadows cheaper or more funded than scribing paras? I don't understand why they can't see that they are only ultimately causing themselves more money and more resources if they keep fighting the scribing - are they that myopic? Or do they really just not believe me? Or are behavioral supports more available/cheaper/better funded that they are willing to swap the scribing accommodation out for that?

Sigh. Who knows. It's been a whole 24 hours without a contentious email so I am gonna take advantage of th elull and pretend all is good and normal for awhile!

What they'd like is for you and your child to just go away... go to another school, homeschool... they don't care. They just want to run you off. And that tactic is often quite successful.

I am pretty darn furious. I emailed my son's teacher with a legitimate question about a reading worksheet in his folder. I cc'ed the principal as I had said I would do. Instead of teacher emailing me back the principal did, explaining the worksheet and cc'ed the teacher. How fucking ridiculous. Now I am furious. And am ready to involve the superintendent of the school district.

Or should I just go along with this?

I know people have suggested that avalanche with emails but I feel like this could hurt/backfire because my defense is this is completely unnecessary I do not barrage anyone with emails and they are always respectful. If I barrage with emails I am afraid it will look like I am really am a hinderance/crazy person to whomever this case ends up in front of and no wonder the principal decided to play go between

I have no idea what the advocate thinks because I have not heard from her (I am not sure if she does her job full-time or part-time or if she just has a lot of clients).

Should I contact the superintendent? Should I bring this up at the IEP mtg. Any ideas? I am so angry.

Irena, I think your instincts are right about the avalanche of emails. I think they would use it against you.

I think you need to do everything possible to get ahold of the advocate as soon as possible so you can run this escalation of events by her.

And then I think that you should definitely bring in the superintendent.

It seems absolutely ridiculous to me that the principal and teacher have decided that it is the principal's job to explain a worksheet. Just childish and unprofessional, IMO!

I am calling the superintendent tomorrow. I left a message for the advocate. I am upset b/c clearly things are escalating and she isn't going to this IEP meeting with me. Should I warn the principal that I am involving the superintendent?

Perhaps I could make things more cumbersome by doing the old fashioned letter/correspondence way. I honestly don't email that much so I don't even know when it will happen again. But I am so angry.

In reviewing this thread, I realized I still have Irena's old screen name included in my replies.

Out of respect for Irena's privacy, I propose the other posters in this thread (and others, if possible) go back and edit her old screen name out of their replies. I will do so momentarily. Or, perhaps a moderator could delete the back-posts to the series if this hasn't already been done.

Yes-- and please be aware that that previous username ALSO still appears in any quotes.

I would agree that this is a new low, but I've seen this waiver tactic before. It's slimy, for sure, but not new.

I agree that a briefing to OSERS would be excellent, however.

I also think that it probably IS time to involve the superintendent. Preferably with a semi-apologetic tone of; "ummmm... I know this is sort of ridiculous, but I don't see any other way to resolve this but to involve you. Sorry."

It actually gets worse. He actually stoops lower.

He didn't answer my questions properly about the worksheet (which figures since, well, he's not the teacher and he probably doesn't even know what worksheet I am talking about). I responded with specific questions (an exact copy of my questions: "How long of a time spent observing his reading is necessary for a valid answer (one sitting? a week? a month?) Am I to turn this sheet in? When? Regarding the comprehension questions on the bottom of the page, some of those seem like questions I could ask DS, am I to record DS's answers? Where? Or just make a check mark that he did it? What kind of book am I to use? A fiction or non-fiction? Both? A chapter book? What about the questions pertaining to his classroom reading? Do I just skip those?") He responded with and I quote, "I will be happy to meet with you to answer your questions. I will invite Ms. Asst. Vice Principal to attend since she is an experienced Reading specialist. I will be happy to schedule a mutually convenient time to meet."

Talk about a new low. I can not make something like this up. I responded hastily and angrily - I know I should not have ... but I did I wrote, "while I appreciate your offer, you know as well as I that it is unnecessary and seems as though it is designed to harass. Just tell me or have Mrs. Teacher tell me what I am suppose to do. Thank you."

I cc'd everyone the entire iep team including the special ed director.

I wanted to add it's a shame an innocent child has to suffer because your ego is so fragile that can not step out of this pissing contest and for five seconds stop getting in the way of an innocent child's education to serve your own pathetic ego.

I am definitely calling the superintendent tomorrow.

I also emailed the iep team to add to the agenda for the upcoming meeting (principal had sent around an agenda) so I emailed to add to it... I wrote this: Mr. Dear Husband has an addition to the below IEP Agenda. He (and I) want to also discuss the mandate by Mr. Principal that we, DS's parents, are not permitted to have "any e-mail communication about DS's program at school" with DS's teachers directly and that "any e-mail communication about DS's program at school be directed only to [Mr. Principal]." We would like to discuss specifically how this type of situation is healthy or good for DS's success. We like to discuss the reasons behind such a mandate as all of our communications with DS's teachers (while not a great amount) are always respectful and pertinent. We realize and appreciate that Mr. Principal is concerned about teachers possibly inadvertently admitting to violating the IEP in their email communications. However, the way to solve that is not by creating obstacles to communication - it's solved by making sure the teachers are fully educated about the IEP and having a specific IEP so that everyone knows what they are suppose to be doing to be in compliance.

I am not sure if I were wrong or not but one thing I know is that they like to stick to their agenda and do not tolerate extraneous issues so I wanted to make sure we out it out there that this will be discussed at the meeting. I think I am going to go ahead and retain a lawyer... I may have to reschedule the meeting if the lawyer isn't free on such short notice. It is worth my mental health and my child's welfare I think to have a lawyer there to shut some of this crap down because I don't know how he can seriously maintain his composure and act like some of this stuff he is doing is okay. Personally I think he looks like a complete ass. Hopefully, I hear from advocate tomorrow.

I want to thank you all so much. I would seriously be lost without you all... I will do everything I can to help others here and I have been helped so much and really this is my only source of true support in this ordeal. This is awful.

What is OSERS?

When I was working as a program specialist in my state (went to all IEP meetings at my school), if a parent indicated that they were bringing a lawyer we had to schedule our lawyer to attend too and our lawyer might not be available at the drop of a hat so we as the school would have to reschedule. Same went if a parent wanted to record a meeting we had to record it too.

I agree, it think it originated with the Special Ed Director quite honestly. Although, as slimey as it is I don't think it was personal - I think they pull this crap routinely with services that they do not offer at the school. I actually don't think the principal had much to do with that (I could be wrong) although I don't doubt he was looking forward to taking full advantage of the waiver.

Now that the vision therapy is on the actual "agenda" for the iep meeting I wonder if they are going to make it a part of the IEP (prior to this they always insisted that the vision therapy was outside the iep and thus not discussed at the meeting but after the meeting once the rest of the team has left) ... Of course, they are keeping in the the dark until the actual meeting so I don't have time to prepare for any of it.

Thanks for the link!

Blast 'em with the best legal team you can hire.

(I know this is pithy non-advice, but I'm getting riled up on your behalf.)

ETA: PM sent.

Just wanted to offer my perspective on scribing paras versus behavioral paras. Does your kid get in-class work scribing for all subjects (I am guessing so (or hoping so) or just scribing for test work ? The scribing paras for tests is pretty common. In-class scribing paras (especially paras who need to follow the child from homeroom to specials and scribe for them at specials) tend to get expensive really soon.

How are the other parents in your kid's class ? Where I live, I can actually see some grousing if a child consistently got a scribe for in-class work. For example, if the kid came up with a sentence, "This is a recyclable project" , it is quite possible that the kid with the scribe may write/spell it better than a kid without a scribe (with no disabilities). So, I can see the point (however, horrible and unfair) that teachers may think that your kid has an "advantage" over other kids. I really hope that is not what your kid's teacher (and the school administration) is thinking. The cost is, of course, another factor. It seems (to me) that it is more expensive to have a scribing (dedicated, one on one) para versus a behavior para (who can be sort of allocated over 2-3 kids).

Of course, if your school administration does think this way, especially for a kid who has a documented disability, they are way, way out of line. I would actually try and go in a very pleasant manner, and let them talk (as much as they want) and sort of ask them theoretical leading questions and see what they think. I would also totally record the meeting and make sure that they know (in advance), so they could also record it (if they choose)

My kid seems pencil-phobic, and I wonder if he has some sort of underlying thing going on. However, when he decides to write or color, he produces the most amazing work. I am not sure if it is physical maturity (he is 5) or whether his hand actually hurts (as he keeps complaining after writing about 4 sentences)



This is beyond ridiculous, especially since the principal does not seem to have a clue about the reading worksheet.

Irena - If this was me, I would be keeping my child at home until the communication issue was resolved. Again, to me this is a matter of safety and trust. If I cannot communicate to the person who is physically in custody of my child for 6+ hours a day, I am not leaving them with that person. I cannot have a trusting relationship with someone I cannot communicate with, and I am not leaving my young child with someone I cannot trust.

This whole situation is INSANE.

Correct. My feeling is that no matter how crazy they get, no matter how unjust their actions, you have to remain the most reasonable person in the room. Over the long term, remaining rational when everyone else is acting like fools gets you credibility all up and down the food chain.

Definitely, get people higher up involved in this, don't sign away any rights, get as much excellent outside help as you can afford; but be very cool in your actual dealings with all school, district, etc. personnel. You cannot let them make the case that you are a crazy person; that is hard to undo later.

BTDT. It will not be this way forever; one way or another, you will resolve it for your DC.

DeeDee

I agree.

I'd also bring up-- in your IEP meeting-- that your physician feels it is DANGEROUS to have this "barrier to clear and effective communication" with the classroom teacher.

The reason? You must have the opportunity to discuss/confer regarding risks to your child's safety. (Epipen? Holy COW, I cannot even wrap my head around them wanting to LIMIT contact between parent and teachers here.)

YOU recognize risks that a teacher doesn't/can't-- if you can't ask about upcoming class events, how are either of you supposed to manage this risk effectively?? I'd make it clear, also in writing, about the earlier incident in which the 'team' failed to keep your child's emergency medication available, too. You have little reason to trust that they can keep your child safe without your input on a regular basis. If they want to run all of that past their attorneys-- let 'em. I suspect that an attorney who learns of THAT chain of events is going to go ballistic over the risks that they are CHOOSING to impose on the district here in terms of liability.


This administrator needs to be made painfully aware that s/he is setting up an environment conducive to a fatality. Use THOSE specific words, be pleasant while you say them (though obviously concerned) and get your ducks in line for withholding attendance-- that is, have your physician's backing here. I'd get that today, before sending any documentation.

Let me know if you want ANYTHING edited here for privacy. BTDT a number of times with other parents over the years. I've seen ugly like this before, I'm sorry to say. Let me also add that once a situation gets to this point... you can WIN, but remember that sometimes even when you win, you still lose. Er-- or your child does.

I'm not saying that I think you should accept this situation, which is completely untenable, IMO; but that you should have a plan B and plan C in your back pocket.

Thank you all. Spoke with assistant superintendent who respectfully asked to give her a chance at helping/fixing this situation before going up the superinendent. She was nice and assured me this would stop immediately. I told her I documented all that has transpired over the entire year and asked her if she would like to see it so that has a full and clear history. She said yes. My question is do I cc this email to the principal?

Advocate called and was helpful too. She also suggested going the superintendent route (as well as letting me know about other routes).

Irena,

I am soooo sorry this is becoming such a mess. I second everything DeeDee said in the post above it - no matter how insane and nuts and illegal and ill-intentioned everyone else gets, you need to remain reasonable and simply stick with it.

You'd asked about scribing earlier - fwiw, our ds never received a scribe even though we were told by his neuropsych he should have a scribe in 2nd grade. It was simply something we were never going to get in our school, and I've never seen another child provided with one here. I didn't spend much time worrying about this - and part of it may be because our dd was a few years older than yours when he was diagnosed - but from the start I felt it was really important to get the tools into ds' hands to help him become independent rather than depending on a scribe. So our ds started out with an AlphaSmart at school during 3rd grade and eventually transitioned to a laptop. It took a *long* time and a lot of advocating just for that, but it was a battle we were able to win. While the advocating was going on at school ds was using a laptop at home (as well as having me scribe for him)... but the key was, we had him start typing and practicing right away after his diagnosis. Regardless of what's happening at school with the scribe, this is one thing you can be doing at home now for your ds, letting him get comfortable with using a laptop or an iPad or whatever, and giving him some type of "work" (which can be something fun) that includes typing. Don't force him to learn touch-typing, let him develop his own typing system. Don't worry that it's not lightning fast - chances are even if it's slow (which our ds' typing speed is, still)... it will be faster than handwriting plus it will free up his working memory while writing once he's used to it.

And, fwiw, as epoh mentioned, I'd consider taking him out of school for the moment while things are so incredibly contentious. If you're being told not to communicate with his teacher, that's a huge potential issue. I am not advocating that you withdraw him from school, simply just keep him home (like you would if he was sick) and let the school know why you're keeping him home - let them know he'll return to school as soon as you're allowed to communicate directly with his teacher (or he's moved to a different class if you're ok with that)... we did this tactic with our dd who has extensive food allergies when she was in early elementary and the school was trying to force us to accept a non-safe situation for her, and it was very effective. The schools don't want to risk losing a warm body in the classroom which counts toward state funding.

Best wishes,

polarbear

I, personally, would NOT cc the principal. I would forward everything you've got to the Super and give them the chance to handle this with the principal on their own.

I would still keep my child home until I hear from either the Super or the Principal that communication can resume between you and the teacher.

Okay, thanks.

Let me third the "be the reasonable one" advice.

You've done a pretty good job with that so far, from what you've reported. Just keep doing what you're doing-- you responded appropriately (with serious questions related to your responsibilities as a parent) re: the assignment that you should have been able to discuss with the classroom teacher.

The response was over-the-top nutso, and you also pointed out that a "meeting" would be an enormous waste of everyone's time for something that SHOULD be simple and not even involve administration.

Do you have any idea what role the classroom teacher is playing in all of this? Is it even remotely possible that s/he has kicked this up to administration because of feeling that she can't cope?

I think that your next move needs to be:

a) get backing from physician to keep child out of school until communication issue is resolved (re: safety, basically)

b) cc: nurse, IEP coord, and princ. about your child's absence, and

c) request classroom work for the next couple of weeks-- so that your child is not harmed academically by this unresolved set of communication issues.

Then Bcc: that to the vice-super along with everything else.


This (strategically) does several things. It demonstrates that you are a "team player" in that you are being cordial and cooperative with everyone involved, you are trying to do what others have asked of you, and that your child's safety and academics are your major concern, not scoring hit-points or anything else. It also makes it clear just how bizarre the principal is being here-- because s/he will probably respond with more "crazy" to it-- maybe you won't be allowed to contact the nurse, either, anymore. Which you will then forward to the vice-super.

BTW, your IEP has "stay-put" provisions in it, procedurally.

What does that document state about communication between you and the classroom teacher?

If it's mandated that you (or s/he) be communicating with one another, then your princ. is wilfully violating that document, and you need to document this thoroughly and prepare a complaint.

By all means give the district time to resolve it before filing that complaint-- but let them know that you're aware it's a major procedural violation.

That's important because the feds generally don't enforce specific accommodations/provisions with the same vigor that they pursue procedural violations as I suspect this is.

I would ignore his unreasonable demand that you cease communicating with the teacher. I can't imagine what he can claim that you have done to warrant that kind of treatment. If you want to be nice, then cc him on your commuications. Of course, he always has the right to respond on behalf of the teacher.

The settlement agreement is probably boiler-plate. I would decline to sign if and only if you are actually giving up rights that you believe you will be invoking. Furthermore, some rights you cannot sign away in certain circumstances. Harm from future incidents in school should fall under that category. The statute of limitation for minors doesn't start running until their 18th birthday.

There is also the issue of whether the District is required to provide the vision therapy. I seem to recall that certain medical treatments, even if your DS needs it, the District is not obligated to provide.

Quantum, I tried to ignore the communications mandate. The teacher is not responding to me and it is causing problems b/c she is not allowed. It needs to be stopped immediately.

The waiver may be boilerplate but it is clearly designed to deprive us and our son of all of the every right provided to us by IDEA, federal, and state law for any claims from the beginning of time, known or unknown, etc. I was strongly advised by both my advocate and an attorney not to sign the waiver.

As for the vision therapy, as Mana pointed out VT can fall under related services. See this case
http://204.186.159.23/odr/HearingOfficerDecisions/00962-09-10.pdf Sometimes, it takes a hearing to get to that conclusion:

Specific types of related services and sub-definitions are part of the regulatory language (34 C.F.R. §300.34(b)(c)) and do not include vision therapy. Nothing in the statute or regulations, however, indicates that the related services at 34 C.F.R. §300.34 are an exhaustive list, excluding a developmental, corrective or other supportive service not contained in that section that might still be required to assist a child

Irena, absolutely do what your advocate and attorney advise. I don't know the specifics of your history with the district, so my comments were meant to be practical from my experience of drafting/revising some ridiculous settlement agreements to push deals through while keeping my eye on the practical stuff.

So vision therapy falls in the gray area and as a practical matter the parent may be forced to initiate a hearing to get a determination that it should be a required service.

Good luck.

Hi all, thanks again for all your help. HowlerKarma, I used some of your exact words so thanks!

So, just to update where we are. Basically, we were at a stand-off until a few moments ago. So, I had contacted the assistant superintendent and talked with her (she was nice, and seemed, at the time, helpful), She gave me the impression the barrier to communication between parents and teachers would be lifted and she would talk to principal basically stopping him from enforcing such a mandate. I was relieved and thought all was fine. She said she would get Special Ed Director to step in more assertively.

Two hours after I talked with her I got another email from principal, it stated: "Dear Mr. and Mrs., Please send all e-mail communication regarding DS's school program to me. I will relay any questions/concerns to the appropriate persons and will respond to you. I have no concerns about what teachers will say in their e-mail responses as I trust their abilities to respond professionally; however, teachers have become uncomfortable with the tone of some of your e-mail communications and it would be best if I facilitated this communication. As this is not an IEP issue, it will not be discussed at the upcoming IEP meeting. I would like to adhere to the agenda I previously sent as I think that this would bring about a productive result and serve DS's best interest." It was like a slap in the face (as I am sure he intended it to be). It was cc'd to the assist. superintendent leading me to believe he did this with her blessing and that she supported this for some reason despite our earlier conversation.

{Just as an aside, there is nothing wrong with any of my emails. Absolutely nothing - no threats, no bullying, no name calling, etc. In my opinion they do not like me documenting and they do not like taking the risk that the teacher may inadvertently indicate an iep violation. And even if they aren't crazy about "my tone," how is that a legitimate reason to totally alienate parents who integral members of the iep team? I don't like their tone often! I don't like when then tell me I am "enabling my son's disability" that I am "micromanaging him," that I am "short-changing him," that I am "not thankful enough," that I am "too pushy." I don't like that I have to keep educating and explaining to them over and over and over again DS's disability - how it is neuromuscular and what that means. And how he is not at the level of peers, even if you keep insisting he is, and we know this for a fact because he just had OT evals (some by the school) that put him two years delayed in writing. But I do and I do it nicely and politely.}

Anyway, I called the assist. superintendent to ask about this email and she was unavailable. I gave her 45 minutes to get back to me and then I called my lawyer colleague and explained the situation. He said, of course, he'd be happy to represent me and we discuss. He isn't available for the iep meeting this Tuesday so we discuss dates he is available to that it can be rescheduled so that he can attend.

Then, the assist superintendent calls me back and tells me she hasn't checked her email so she had no idea that principal had sent around an email confirming that the communication ban between parent and teacher was still in place. She says she'll talk to principal and fix it. I give her some time but when I do not hear anything, I email the entire team and assist. superintendent and advise that my DH and I feel that we have no choice at this point but to have legal representation going forward and, so, we need to reschedule current IEP meeting date to accommodate attorney's schedules. Ten minutes later I start getting some phones calls.

It appears they are not crazy about involving attorneys. I am not sure if it is just a money thing with them or if they do not want it to escalate further or what. But giving them official notice that we are bringing an attorney seemed to finally motivate some people to do something! Special Ed Director called within 10 minutes and we discussed the VT agreement (and I was happy with the discussion), we discussed the communication ban and she also said she would serve as LEA at the iep mtg instead of principal b/c she thinks maybe principal needs to step back and take a break. Not sure what that means but I did say that, as much as I do not want to cut people out, it does seem like it has gotten very personal between him and me and he seems so blinded by anger/annoyance with me that it is affecting his ability to do his job in a reasonable manner. I didn't agree to anything but told her I would talk it over with DH. I talked it over with DH and he and I agreed that before we call off the lawyer and agree to proceed on Tuesday without one, we need a communication to go out asap to everyone involved that clearly states that the communication ban that Mr. Principal put in place has been lifted and that teacher and parents are free to communicate. DH called Spec.Ed. Dir yesterday and left a message to that effect on her cell phone and then we didn't hear form her at all. We had to call her back today again and leave another message.

So, Special Ed Director finally calls back. She said she would send around the communication first thing on Monday saying that us parents and DS's teachers are to be able to communicate freely about any day to day stuff, any homework issues, behavior issues, medical issues, progress, class work, etc. She did say though that what Principal really wants (and she agrees) is that we not negotiate and discuss changes to IEP via email - that those concerns be only addressed to Mr. Principal and herself and then we'll schedule a meeting to resolve those issues. DH are okay with that. So all we need now is to see that email and then we will proceed on Tuesday without a lawyer. In the meantime, I need to research a good lawyer for a reasonable amount who has experience in our district. I like the guy who I have been dealing with recently but he has no experience in this particular district and he is not convenient to this area... also he doesn't take credit cards and I want to be able to charge representation so that money doesn't stop me from getting legal assistance. I will still be working on that even though I think all will be okay. Still, I need to have a really good attorney consulted with, interviewed and ready on speed dial... just in case. Lesson learned.

It appears they are not crazy about involving attorneys.

I'll just bet they aren't.

Probably because they know darned good and well that this won't fly.

I'm still not keen on the idea that there be zero documentation trail re: any input from you/your DH on possible changes to IEP ahead of meetings.

That seems unwieldy to me, and it circumvents part of what they ought to want to have happening-- that is, tweaks and discussion and thought ahead of formal IEP meetings so that there is a 'team' working to produce solutions in an efficient manner.

Shouldn't the classroom teachers be a part of that IEP team??

Anyway. That, too, smacks of "we don't want any of this in writing," but maybe I'm missing something.

Glad that things are moving again. Stalemating is awful.

Have you googled your district name + due process? When I did that I saw that my district almost never goes there - I found only one case. (This confirms what DSS told our consultant early on. "[District] never goes to Due Process. We always reach agreements.") Others here have mentioned that they get a lot of results. You can look at the names of the attorney's who represented the families in the cases that you find. (Since you are an attorney you may know a better way to accomplish the search to find cases that have been filed and withdrawn without a formal finding. Probably will get more info that way...)

Last year I cut out communication with most people at DD's school and started doing everything through folks at central office. Superintendent, assistant superintendent, director of pupil personnel services, director of special service, etc are very busy people. It is amazing how much less cr** people give you when busy, decision maker types have to be involved in ridiculous minutia. If assistant superintendent agrees that substantive communication about IEP matters should go through her and principal I would tell her that you think everything will just go to her - she can involve or not involve the principal at her discretion. After all, he is too close and needs a break - right? She will either be able to reach reasonable agreements with you and DH or she will spend a lot of time going back and forth with principal and then back and forth with you. But hey - if the principal is blinded by anger and needs a break then who are you not to give it to him?

A couple of things my consultant said when he met with our superintendent the other day may be helpful to you here:

1) Sometimes the district loses the parents' trust and the situation becomes unworkable. In those cases it costs the district some serious money to place kids OOD. Your district may be heading down that road with you. A calm head here can save them A LOT of money later.

2) This is a last ditch effort to save both the parents and the district legal fees. Wouldn't you really rather spend that money on the child?

Good luck and keep us posted!

I absolutely agree. And we attorneys are big on documenting everything. It is drilled into is from day one - "put it in writing!" "Get it in writing" "Document, document, document." We document 3 minute phone conversations. We use email to file our court filings. This is a legal procedure and a legal document... there must be writings and documentation. It's preposterous that they think there will not be. And I do intend to continue to document and communicate via email... I do think there will be lull of problems for a while, once this IEP meeting is done and over, which will help. We just needed to tweak the scribing accommodation, discuss communication and making specials teachers aware of IEP and finalize the VT agreement. I am thinking now we need to put something in the IEP about weekly/daily communication regarding progress, etc in the IEP so this doesn't happen again. I did not think it was necessary before but now clearly it is. However, I know they will try to shut me down because that topic is not really on the IEP agenda. Maybe I will call an IEP meeting beginning of next year and get it in then. Or I am thinking I could sneak in under the agenda topic of "Communication with Special Area Teachers and Paraprofessionals regarding Ben's IEP." Either way I had better get it in there.

My plan is to get this all under control (get this iep mtg done and VT contract done) and take some time to get some referrals and interview with attorneys in the area and get a decent attorney to consult with on this. It's still cheaper to get some consultations, etc. And when the school pulls the whole "you're not allowed to put anything in writing" or anything like this again have them on hand to jump right in...

Lots of good info here Pemberley! Thank you!



This is a great idea! No, I did not know to do this... Thank you!

Hmm I found a few cases (not many) but the attorneys are not listed ... They may have been redacted out prior to being put on the internet.

Wow in one of the cases this was noted:

"Parent participated in meetings with District personnel, on an annual basis, and discussed accommodations for the Student, yet the Student’s file was devoid of much documentation concerning these meetings, problems or accommodations (NT Vol III at 119, 137). Parent discovered the lack of records at the end of the Student’s ninth grade year (NT Vol III at 119)."

Yes, well, we don't like writing and documenting, in this district. And if you do it, Mr. Principal will shut it down right quick.

Pemberley is spot-on. In the past 15 years our district has twice lost cases in court over special ed services (that I know of). When things were at their ugliest for us, we found the lawyer who won those cases and got her advice (which she gave pro bono in the initial consultation).

We never had to go to due process, but knowing that she had succeeded against this district in the past was very empowering. It *is* important to choose a lawyer who knows the players and the history locally, because that person will be much more able to negotiate for you.

Since then we have just used an educational advocate (not a lawyer), who negotiates in advance of IEP meetings, rendering the meetings themselves smooth and pleasant. She is worth what we pay her.

I'm glad your situation is developing... I hope the week goes well for you. Keep breathing.

DeeDee

ETA: if you can't find information on the internet, work the special ed grapevine. There should be other people around who have been through similar things, and remember what lawyers are good there.

Thanks all.... I finally found some cases and attorney names on the internet. Specifically found a woman who has won a number of OOD placement cases (and two in our district but she also won others in the surrounding district). I like the sound of her a lot. I am going to call her on Monday as well as one other firm I found. I will talk to each.

I want someone look over the VT agreement anyway, just in case. So I will pick one to help me with that and see what they think about what all transpired with this communication ban issue (even though it is supposedly resolved) and get their thoughts on that and how to combat that in the future, etc. It'll most like cost me at least a couple of hundred but probably still cheaper than having an attorney attend the iep meeting. I need to find a special ed attorney, who wins in this district and develop a relationship. The next time something like this happens I want to be able to consult an attorney that I am already comfortable with immediately, and who can jump right in if necessary... I d not want to be in this situation again. Than God for all of you! You all have provided some of the best advice ... But I gotta get myself a knowledgeable attorney! OOD is certainly in the back of my mind now. You all are wonderful though. Thank you all so much.

What search criteria did you use to finally get results?

One thing to keep in mind is that some spec ed lawyers are good at brokering deals (like the one our consultant is trying to iron out for us) and some prefer a more hard-core approach. The latter could cost you literally 10x as much as the former. Try to have an idea in your own mind what you are interested in achieving before you talk to them. I don't think you are in OOD territory yet but more in need of someone who will "keep them honest". Hopefully you will get an initial session free or for a reasonable fee and you can feel them out.

I actually started using names of hearing officers in the area as a search term and just kept playing around. Oh and I came across this site http://odr-pa.org/due-process/hearing-officer-decision/ and searched there. There is actually very little from I could find so I guess they are more prone to settle things.

Both firms advertise free consultations and they both actually have high reviews.

Good advice. I think I'll say something exactly like this to them when I consult with them. Thank you Pemberley, I know you have BTDT with a lot of this already so I appreciate your help. Our kids both seem to have very similar issues too.

The one attorney has served very recently as the Chair of the Board of Directors for the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates, Inc. (as well as vice char and treasurer) and is still on the board.