Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Things are getting very bad

Does anyone know how I could change my username? Or would I have to create an entire new account?

I don't think user names can be changed by us (users). Perhaps the Administrator may be able to do it for you. Else, I would say, create a new account without identifying information and post. I would also not get into too much detail about your son's diagnoses on the new account. People who have been following your posts would understand the underlying challenges.

The administrator can change the display name for you. I know they did that for me when I realized I might not want my name displayed everywhere. I still login with the original name but the display and profile have the "screen" name.

Great thanks so much. I will contact an admin.

Hello - I just sent you a private message. I can get that changed for you.

Thanks,
Mark

Having moderated forums in the past, I have to say you are an excellent moderator,, Mark.

Frequent poster, but using a new name for anonymity purposes. The OCR is currently investigating my daughter's district for issues related to FAPE and discrimination. This was a last ditch effort, and I would only recommend it as a last resort. In our area, Legal Aid wouldn't touch our case because there are no lawyers on staff with SpEd experience; and the state office for disability rights is too busy handling abuse cases. My warning that I would bring in the OCR was effective to a certain extent, but obviously didn't resolve the issue.

An investigation can take from six months to a year. It's been about three months, and recently things have gotten a bit better, imo because they know their feet are in the flames. All that said, our relationship with the school has become extremely adversarial. I find myself questioning their every move/comment, and I hate it. Because of my daughter's age and the nature of the offenses, she is very aware of what's going on, and in the thick of things it added to her anxiety. She is going to a different school in the district next year, but my understanding is that something like this will now follow us throughout her school career in our district, so while I have high hopes for a fresh start, I'm not counting on it. Worst of all, if the OCR finds in the district's favor, we're going to be worse off than where we are currently because they will feel free to rescind the concessions they have already made.

I'm not advising you to not file with the OCR if you feel it's what you need to do, but seriously exhaust your other avenues, and make sure you consider the ramifications. I wish it hadn't become necessary for us. Good luck, and feel free to pm me if you have questions about the process or anything.

The schools in the district are not open enrollment. The other school was where he went last year for kindie (that is where everyone goes for kindie in the area and then they break them up) - where he completely had a breakdown. The school he is at now is smaller and feels more flexible than the other school but they are very close to each other geographically and pretty much do things the same. I do not think it will be any better there and possibly worse. But it's hard to say. He had a lovely teacher there last year but only had a 504, I was new to the whole special needs thing so I am not sure how much of how badly things went there was a result of me not advocating strongly enough and how much was the result of the school. But at least at this school DS is happy - at the other school he really deteriorated. I don't know. I think he really needs to go somewhere like the school I linked above if I take him out, which is $30,000 a year. We have a few of those type of schools in the area - that really cater to kids who "learn differently" and seem excellent but they are all around $30,000 a year.

I guess it comes down to how well the other school would deal with the scribing accommodation. Do all public schools fight so hard against scribing accommodations? The crux of the discord with the current school really is the scribing accommodation. They have been fighting me on that since day 1. They fought me on putting it in the IEP in the first place (fight #1). I get it in, and then they go about not implementing properly in what appears to be attempts to prove he does not need it (fight #2)... and it's just fight after fight about it, i.e., teacher trying to "increase stamina" and prove he doesn't "need a scribe" (fight #2), revising the IEP the first chance they get to basically take out the scribing accommodation (fight #3), paras giving him a hard time for needing it (fight #4), specials teachers not knowing about, understanding or simply choosing not to implement it (fight #5), etc.

Then we have the random issues/violations of DS having an allergic reaction at the school and the nurse lost his epi-pen and benedryl (she found it a few days later - it had fallen behind something). And a para humiliating DS in the car line with bullhorn that he is "too slow" and why can't he "move his legs"... And of course the crazy settlement agreement/waiver for a needed therapy service. However the ongoing tension is always about he scribing and it is the one accommodation that DS REALLY REALLY needs. I don't understand why they can not seem to realize if they take that away they will have a world of trouble on their hands... Are behavioral shadows cheaper or more funded than scribing paras? I don't understand why they can't see that they are only ultimately causing themselves more money and more resources if they keep fighting the scribing - are they that myopic? Or do they really just not believe me? Or are behavioral supports more available/cheaper/better funded that they are willing to swap the scribing accommodation out for that?

Sigh. Who knows. It's been a whole 24 hours without a contentious email so I am gonna take advantage of th elull and pretend all is good and normal for awhile!

What they'd like is for you and your child to just go away... go to another school, homeschool... they don't care. They just want to run you off. And that tactic is often quite successful.

I am pretty darn furious. I emailed my son's teacher with a legitimate question about a reading worksheet in his folder. I cc'ed the principal as I had said I would do. Instead of teacher emailing me back the principal did, explaining the worksheet and cc'ed the teacher. How fucking ridiculous. Now I am furious. And am ready to involve the superintendent of the school district.

Or should I just go along with this?

I know people have suggested that avalanche with emails but I feel like this could hurt/backfire because my defense is this is completely unnecessary I do not barrage anyone with emails and they are always respectful. If I barrage with emails I am afraid it will look like I am really am a hinderance/crazy person to whomever this case ends up in front of and no wonder the principal decided to play go between

I have no idea what the advocate thinks because I have not heard from her (I am not sure if she does her job full-time or part-time or if she just has a lot of clients).

Should I contact the superintendent? Should I bring this up at the IEP mtg. Any ideas? I am so angry.