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AMD,
132 on the SBV is good news! He should qualify for your districts gifted program and/or a grade skip. I am currently participating in an on-line seminar through the Davidson Institute where the guest expert (I don�t know if I�m allowed to mention the name) stated that in most cases, the earlier the grade skip, the better. The expert also advised not to assume (as most schools do) that one skip is always enough. Often, additional subject or full grade acceleration is needed again (best before high school).

Good luck in pursuing accommodations.

Okay, yikes. We have two more people who just say they are dumbfounded. This of course makes me proud of my boy, but at the same time I'm a little troubled. The psychologist said she has assessed many children for early advancement but has never seen any child with the reasoning skills Duncan has. She talked to her mother about him. Her mother teaches first grade (not at the same school) and has taught gifted children. She said she has never seen a child so globally advanced...usually they are really strong in one or two areas but according to the psychologist, Duncan is at the top of all areas in which he was tested.

My concern is the same as it was before all this...is grade advancement really the answer? I'm thinking sending him to first grade now may be a step in the right direction, but unfortunately I don't think I can relax with that. This pains me, it really does. I just don't know how it is possible not to stifle this child in some way, however minute.

I guess this will sink in by the time I get the report next week and hopefully I'll be able to make some good decisions when the time comes!

Thanks for listening.

I am in the same boat with you! But we already advocated for and got early first grade placement (I responded earlier in this thread about the testing we had done). There was a point at the beginning of the year where everyone said that it was a "perfect placement" and that he was "right where he needs to be." That seemed true for the first two months, maybe.

I hate to tell you this, but we are now at the point where DS is complaining that he hates school because everything is too easy!!!! We are now working on getting another meeting set up to discuss the math curriculum that he is bored with (he was doing this math about 1 and 1/2 years ago!) and how to give him reading material that he is excited about (he complains about having to read "preschool books with silly stories and easy words). Yikes, is right!

Someone on another board advised me last summer that one grade skip is usually NOT enough when a child shows a need for such acceleration so early on. And he was right. It is clear to me now that DS will need something very different from the public education he is getting. We just don't know what.

When I asked the school psychologist last summer about her experience working with kids like DS she said to us, "Honestly? I've never seen a child his age with scores this high." Yikes. And now the principal says to me "We are trying to cover all our bases here and do the right thing for him. This is totally new territory for us here at Lincoln Grade school." Yikes, again!

When I started reading boards I thought that my son was perhaps bright, gifted but not "out there gifted," you know what I mean? Because at 5 years old he wasn't showing so many of the signs that go with those higher levels of giftedness. But now, he is showing increased emotional intensity (like crying at TV shows), making statements about school that are way beyond his years ("Mom, I hate learning math with worksheets. I lke to learn math in activities. And why do I have to practice what I already know?" "Mom, isn't science wonderful!!!" "I LOVE doing hard math! How many days until my Saturday class again?!"), identifying that he is different from the other kids in his class and showing all the signs of some pretty asynchronous development. And he is now saying he hates school and asking me not to make him do that "Easy, kindergarten math" anymore.

I'm sorry that I don't have any answers for you, but I thought that sharing my story and our place in this roller coaster ride might make you feel not so alone! You've got a great little guy there! Best of luck - I'll keep you posted if you'll do the same!

Debbie, thank you for sharing. Yes, please do keep me posted. I was faced with (or should I say slapped with! hehe) the realization last week that there truly is no one in daily life that I can talk to about this! (Trinity had mentioned this before.) Even my mom, and if you can't talk to grandma then who can you talk to???...but even my mom doesn't get it and it sounded as though at one point she thought I was actually saying none of the educators at my son's school are smart enough to teach him. Then there was my husband who has not done one iota of research trying to put his foot down and say NO we are not advancing him to first grade at this point...that we're going to do what's best for the child, not for me. I ask you, as someone who is experiencing this, is this what's best for US as moms? Good grief, the easiest thing for me to do would be to ignore it and just pretend it's not happening.

But I digress....it's just difficult on all levels but still I know it is NOT in my son's best interest to drop this. That would be robbery and even his teacher says that.

I'm at the same place you are in realizing public school most likely is not the thing. We will most likely end up having to move over this. And I hate that because we are in an incredible school district which I think will be perfect for my daughter. But my state has no gifted schools, no charter schools, and the private schools are not geared to the gifted...they are either designed for the wealthy or the religious. Of course, they may be better equipped to design a custom program but if they don't specialize then it's kind of the same thing.

So I'm at a loss!

Thanks again for sharing and please keep us updated!

Martie

Martie,
I do have some suggestions for the DH thing.

One - leave the two of them alone together for a whole weekend about every 4-6 weeks. After about a year, DH will start moving in your direction.

Two - put your foot down, also, right on top of his, preferable while wearing some serious shoes, and insist that DH either do the legwork on the grade skip or leave the driving to you. Tell him to "be a man, not a baby" about it if nescessary.

Three - arrange for a series of Daddy chaproned playdates with some nice normal agemates.

Four - if your husband know how to play chess, or is willing to learn, suggest that DH teach DS how to play, and that they attend some age-based chess matches. This could backfire, but might be fun anyway.

Five - Learn how to pitch your voice low and utter short commands. Use when nescessary. Develop matching body language.

Marriage is a partnership - and also a power struggle, sorry. I believe that one of the differences between smart and gifted is the integrity to follow your observations to their logical conclusion no matter how unpleasent they may be. I've never seen anyone write about this, but lets face it - being smart isn't in and of itself an interpersonal problem - but consistiently sticking to one's guns is.

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Great ideas, Trinity! Oh, but DH absolutely realizes "this"....he's just listening to people talk about how it can be detrimental to grade skip. Of course, the people he's listening to never skipped grades so they speak not from experience!

Funny...DH and DS already play Chess. In fact, DH says DS is the only person he has to think to beat these days (out of 4 teen nephews, me, and DS).

I did pretty much say that he cannot make an educated decision about this so he'll have to either educate himself or leave it up to me. I've invited him to share in my research but so far he hasn't, so....

Martie:
I'm curious as to why your DH is so adamant about NOT accelerating. Especially at this early age. I have to say that at first my husband and I were worried about it, but the more we got to know our sons abilities and level the more convinced we were that he had to be accelerated if he was going to attend the public school.

We do not regret having accelerated him. He is socially doing fine (as far as we know). He would have been absolutely miserable in kindergarten. Our only issue now is that the skip wasn't enough!

Has your husband read A Nation Deceived or Genius Denied? That was how my husband came around, after seeing the information presented there. I'm not saying that acceleration is the answer for your son, it is not right for every child. But there are times when it just makes sense.

My husband's father and brother were both gifted. His father tested in the 'very superior' group and I'm not sure about his brother. Neither skipped grades. Neither is living his dream life either. My BIL was in the gifted program at his school and he loved it and he was thriving but the mother pulled him out because she thought he received too much homework. So this is what my husband bases his objections on. Doesn't make sense, does it? How can he draw on detrimental experiences of people who never actually even experienced it?

Truth be told, my guess is he's a little freaked out by it all and just wants to be sure we don't push DS into something. LIke he's concerned about high school...says if he's too young none of the girls will date him (ummm, if he's too young HE won't be dating!) and that he'll be last in his class to develop...like go through puberty and stuff. I told him if we ever get to the point where the difference is that great (like if we ended up doing more skips) that he would not be in public school, but in a school where he is not different...meaning a school for the gifted, of course.

And no, he has not read anything. The only thing he knows is what I and DS's teacher tell him. I've tried to get him to read up but he hasn't. But I'll bet if I bought some of these books and had them here he might.

I can certainly understand his concerns. You can get a copy of both volumes of A Nation Deceived (the summary and the research reports) for free at this website:
http://nationdeceived.org/

We also used the Iowa Acceleration Manual as a tool for looking at all the assessment data objectively to see just whether our son was a good candidate to succeed with a grade skip or not. It was very helpful. You can pick up a manual from Amazon for about $20. Ask your library to get you a copy of Genius Denied. Good Luck!

I agree with Debbie. A nation deceived is free, even in hard copy, and if you leave it in the bathroom and remove all the TV Guides, well...

A Nation Decieved is also good to help him process his own experience a bit...

Iowa Acceleration Manual is very good for people with what is traditionally classified as masculine strengths - numbers and research and problem solving.

There is also the approach of reading these books while DH and DS play chess, and interrupting his game with, "Oh honey, listen to this cute story...(insert paragraph here).... Can you imagine that?"

Best wishes,
Trin